Shelly Stone

I discovered this year that I'm pretty much a nihilist and a misanthrope. I'm completely obsessed with death, murder, American celebrity, tragedy, suicide, mental illness, addiction, gore, war, genocide, existential despair, fashion, history, and my own writing, Nazi porn (NO, I'M NOT A NAZI OR A NAZI SYMPATHIZER, I JUST HAVE A WEIRD FETISH...I GET A HARD ON LOOKING AT ART OR PHOTOGRAPHY OF AMAZONIAN WOMEN WITH WHIPS DRESSED IN 40s SS UNIFORM, OKAY?). I jerk off a lot. My life is a total mess and there's not much I can really do about it. If you have the urge to rag on me about it, go fuck yourself with a chainsaw. I like beer. I'm a pretty damn good cook and if you want some of the best American comfort food, southern soul food, or authentic Mexican food, come over sometime and I'll whip up somethin for ya. I'm kind of a dyke, but my boyfriend won't let me get any snatch (how contradictory did that sound?). I'm attracted to chubby people. They're good in bed and feel like cuddly pillows. I hate stupid people unless there's something so overwhelmingly charming about them that I can't help but like them. I hate religion on all levels, especially any branch of Christianity and Islam. DON'T PREACH TO ME ABOUT YOUR HOLY BOOKS OF MYTH AND I WON'T TELL YOU HOW FUCKING BIG OF AN IDIOT YOU ARE FOR BELIEVING AND FOLLOWING THEM. I like to research things that interest me on the internet because I can't afford books. I love to read about different places and cultures around the world. I like watching Bollywood dance sequences on Youtube because I can't get through an entire movie because they usually suck ass. I have this thing where I prematurely judge "hot" people and blondes, whether they be male or female, as privilaged, stupid, boring, and shallow because... I'm shallow. I love jokes about stereotypes because they're fucking true.