"Adult child responsible for defects"
It is not the responsibility of parents to make sure
that a child enters adulthood problem-free.That is
in fact an impossible dream, yet it seems many
parents believe that is their job.
This was brought to mind by a conversation I
The child was moody, negative, pessimistic, and
seemed to believe she could not do anything right.
Nevertheless, she made reasonably good grades, had a
reasonable number of steady friends, and was thought
reasonably well of by other adults. I pointed out
that the girl seemed to be doing okay. That fell on
deaf ears. Mom wanted me to give her some formula
for changing the girl's attitude. It's worth
mentioning that the attitude in question was not
some adolescent hormone-thing; rather, it seemed to
he mother that her daughter had been this way since
she was very young.
"Is this a discipline issue?" Mom asked, to which I
replied that she was describing a personality, not a
behavior problem, and personalities do not respond
to traditional discipline.
"On the other hand," I said, "if your daughter's
negativity produces anti-social behaviors --
offensive manners, for example -- you can discipline
those, but attempts on your part to change her
personality are doomed. In fact, such attempts are
very likely to make matters worse."
Mom admitted that both she and her husband talked
to -- lectured, most likely -- their daughter on a
fairly regular basis about her attitude. I pointed
out that one cannot talk a child out of one
personality and into another. Could their parents
have talked them out of their personality defects?
No. Has any parent ever succeeded at this? No. Does
everyone attain adulthood with defects? Yes. Whose
responsibility is it, pray tell, to deal with these
defects? Why it is the child's -- now an adult --
responsibility!
Reality is the Great Therapist, but even reality is
not omnipotent. Some adult children come to grips
with their defects and resolve to correct them;
others deny they have any defects to come to grips
with and spend their less-than-happy lives blaming
others for every problem they pull down upon
themselves. As the late, great George Harrison put
it, "And that's the way things go."
Many of today's parents think they have failed if
their children have problems. They think this
because they believe in psychological determinism --
specifically, that parenting produces the child.
This is absurd. Parenting is an influence. It is not
the be-all, end-all influence at that. The other
influences include peers, genes, diet, teachers,
siblings, and accidents -- things over which no one
had any control. But the greatest influence of all
is the child's own free will, the decisions he
makes, many of which have nothing to do with
anything his parents, teachers, or peers have done,
and nothing to do with anything he has inherited or
eaten either. This is why everyone knows of a child
who grew up in a "good" home who went astray as a
teen or young adult and seems hopelessly lost to
this day, much to his or her parents' dismay. It is
also why everyone knows of a child who grew up under
highly disadvantageous circumstances -- abusive,
alcoholic parents who moved from one hovel to
another to stay ahead of the rent collectors, for
example -- who has made a spectacular life for
himself or herself as an adult. That's the way
things go.
Accepting that there are things about your child
that you cannot change will make for a parenthood
that is significantly less stressful, ridden with
guilt, and frustrating -- a much happier parenthood,
in other words. It's as simple as accepting that you
are not a Supreme Being."Live for Christ".
"Have Satan
Snuffed Out"
"God knows"
Who you pretend to be
God knows
All your highs, all your lows
Your deepest hurt and your pride
How your love flows
Frequently shown as do children
Your sufficiency for the tomorrow
Take comfort
"Meet My DUD"
"Meet My Spud"
"SATAN'S MEETING"
Satan called a worldwide
In his opening address
he said,
from going to church.
reading their Bibles and
from forming an intimate
relationship with their savior."
"Once they gain that
connection with Jesus, our
power over them is broken."
"So let them go to their
churches; let them have their
covered dish dinners, BUT
steal their time, so they
don't have time to develop
a relationship with Jesus
Christ.."
"This is what I want you to
do," said the devil:
"Distract them from gaining
hold of their Savior and
maintaining that vital
connection
throughout their day!"
"How shall we do this?"
his demons shouted.
"Keep them busy in the
non-essentials of life and
invent innumerable schemes
to occupy their minds,"
he answered.
"Tempt them to spend,
spend, spend, and borrow,
borrow, borrow."
"Persuade the wives to
go to work for long hours
and the husbands to work 6-7
days each week, 10- 12 hours
a day, so they can afford
their empty lifestyles."
"Keep them from spending
time with their children."
"As their families fragment,
soon, their homes will offer no
escape from the pressures of work!"
"Over-stimulate their minds
so that they cannot hear that still,
small voice."
"Entice them to play the
radio or cassette player
whenever they drive." To keep
the TV, VCR, CDs and their
PCs going constantly in their
home and see to it that every
store and restaurant in the
world plays non-biblical music
ice constantly."
"This will jam their minds
and break that union with Christ."
"Fill the coffee tables with
magazines and newspapers."
"Pound their minds with
the news 24 hours a day."
"Invade their driving
moments with billboards."
"Flood their mailboxes
with junk mail, mail order
catalogs, sweepstakes, and
every kind of newsletter and
promotional offering free
products, services and
false hopes.."
"Keep skinny, beautiful
models on the magazines and
TV so their husbands will
believe that outward beauty
is what's important, and
they'll become dissatisfied
with their wives."
"Keep the wives too tired
to love their husbands at
night."
"Give them headaches too!"
"If they don't give their
husbands the love they need,
they will begin to look
elsewhere."
"That will fragment their
families quickly!"
"Give them Santa Claus
to distract them from
teaching their children the
real meaning of Christmas."
"Give them an Easter
bunny so they won't talk
about his resurrection and
power over sin and death."
"Even in their recreation,
let them be excessive."
"Have them return from
their recreation exhausted."
"Keep them too busy to
go out in nature and reflect
on God's creation. Send them
to amusement parks, sporting
events, plays, concerts, and
movies instead."
"Keep them busy, busy,
busy!"
"And when they meet
for spiritual fellowship,
involve them in gossip
and small talk so that
they leave with troubled
consciences."
"Crowd their lives
with so many good causes
they have no time to
seek power from Jesus."
"Soon they will be
working in their own
strength, sacrificing their
health and family for the
good of the cause."
"It will work!"
"It will work!"
It was quite a plan!
The demons went
eagerly to their
assignments causing
Christians everywhere
to get busier and more
rushed, going here and there.
Having little time for their
God or their families.
Having no time to tell
others about the power of
Jesus to change lives.
I guess the question is,
has the devil been successful
in his schemes?
You be the judge!
Does "BUSY" mean:
B-eing U-nder S-atan's Y-oke?
"Fallen"
What's wrong old friend, why look so empty?
Not long ago your life had plenty.
You praised the Lord with all thy heart,
Cried out to God, "How great thou art."
The spirit echoed in your voice,
As in his name you did rejoice.
Thy will be done, was your hearts plea,
Each morning whilst on bended knee.
But now you seem so cold within,
Friend, have you slid back into sin?
Wake up, sleepy! Arise from slumber,
Fill your heart with holy thunder!
Forget about your daily strife,
Remember he who gave you life.
Draw back your strength from that great vine,
The one who's been there all the time.
"A Love of God"
Heart beats young
heart beats old,
a love of Christ
your heart beats bold.
Be ye rich, be ye poor
a love of Christ
You'll have
so much more.
The rain falls on
just and unjust.
But remember Christ
rain settles the dust.
Don't float listlessly
on a sea of confusion.
For a life without
Christ is a life
of delusion.
Don't be the sand
upon the shore.
Open your heart
Christ will open
the door.
"My Friend To You"
I want to tell you of a friend
Who's loving and so kind
The kind of friend who's always there
The best you'll ever find
His love is gracious
His love is eternal
He'll see to your every need
Just put the world aside as we know it
and be willing to believe
Your life will change in many ways
giving life a new direction
Forgiving and loving are things you'll do
with only his perfection
So open your heart and let him in
That's all you have to do
Be sincere and call his name
and Jesus will live in YOU.
"THE LIGHTHOUSE"
There's a lighthouse on a hillside
That overlooks life's sea
When I'm tossed, it sends out
A light that I might see
And the light that shines in darkness now
Will safely lead me through the night
If it wasn't for The Lighthouse
My ship would sail no more.
And I thank God for The Lighthouse
Well, I owe my life to Him
For Jesus is The Lighthouse
And from the rocks I've seen
He has shown a light all around me
That I might clearly see
If it wasn't for The Lighthouse
Tell me where would this ship be.
Everybody that lives about me
They said tear that lighthouse down
Cause the big ships they don't sail this way anymore
There's no use of it standing 'round
Then my mind goes back to that stormy night
When just in time, I saw that light
Yes that light from that old lighthouse
That stands up there on the hill.
He has shown a light all around me
That I could clearly see
If it wasn't for The Lighthouse
Tell me where would this ship be.
"The Duck & The Devil"
There was a little boy visiting
his grandparents on their farm.
He was given a slingshot to
play with out in the woods.
He practiced in the
woods; but he could never hit
the target.
Getting a little discouraged,
he headed back for dinner.
As he was walking back he
saw Grandma's pet duck.
Just out of impulse, he let the
slingshot fly, hit the duck
square in
the head and killed it. He was
shocked and grieved!
In a panic, he hid the dead
duck in the woodpile; only to
see his
sister watching! Sally had
seen it all, but she said
nothing.
After lunch the next day
Grandma said, "Sally, let's
wash the dishes"
But Sally said, "Grandma,
Johnny told me he wanted to
help in the kitchen."
Then she whispered to him,
"Remember the duck?"
So
Johnny did the dishes.
Later that day, Grandpa
asked if the children wanted
to go fishing and
Grandma said, "I'm sorry but I
need Sally to help make
supper."
Sally just smiled and said,
"Well that's all right because
Johnny told
me he wanted to help" She
whispered again, "Remember
the duck?" So Sally went
fishing and Johnny stayed to
help.
After several days of Johnny
doing both his chores and Sally's; he
finally couldn't stand it any longer.
He came to Grandma and confessed that
he had killed the duck.
Grandma knelt down, gave him a hug
and said,
"Sweetheart, I know. You
see, I was standing at the window and
I saw the whole thing,
but because I love you, I forgave you.
I was just wondering how long you would
let Sally make a slave of you."
Thought for the day and every day
thereafter?
Whatever is in your past, whatever
you have done...
And the devil keeps throwing it up
in your
face(lying, cheating, debt, fear,
bad habits,
hatred, anger, bitterness, etc.)..whatever it
is..You need to know that
God was standing at the window and
He saw
the whole thing.
He has seen your whole life.
He wants
you to know that
He loves you and that you are
"forgiven.
He's just wondering how long you
will let the
devil make a slave of you.
The great thing about God is that
when
you ask for forgiveness;
He not only forgives you,
but He forgets.
It is by God's grace and mercy
that we are saved.
Go ahead and make the difference in
someone's life today.
remember:
God is at the window!
As I faced my Maker at the last judgment, I knelt before
the Lord along with all the other souls.
Before each of us laid our lives like the squares of
a quilt in many piles; an angel sat before each
of us sewing our quilt squares together into a
tapestry that is our life.
But as my angel took
each piece of cloth off the pile,
I noticed how ragged and empty each of my squares was.
They were filled with giant holes.
Each square was
labeled with a part of my life that
had been difficult, the challenges and temptations
I was faced with in every day life.
I saw hardships that I
endured, which were the
largest holes of all.
I glanced around
me.
Nobody else had such
squares.
Other than a tiny hole
"here and there, the
other
"tapestries were filled
"with rich color and
the bright hues of worldly fortune.
I gazed upon my own
life and was disheartened.
My angel was sewing
the ragged pieces of cloth
together, threadbare and empty, like binding air.
Finally the time came
when each life was to be
displayed, held up to the light, the scrutiny of truth.
The others rose; each
in turn, holding up
their tapestries.
So filled their lives
had been.
My angel looked upon
me, and nodded for me to rise.
My gaze dropped to
the ground in shame.I hadn't had all the
earthly fortunes.
I had love in my life,
and laughter.
But there had also
been trials of illness, and
wealth, and false accusations that took from
me my world, as I knew it.
I had to start over
many times.
I often struggled with
the temptation to quit,
only to somehow mustered the strength to
pick up and begin again.
I spent many nights
on my knees in prayer,
asking for help and guidance in my life.
I had often been held
up to ridicule, which I
endured painfully, each time offering it up
to the Father in hopes that I would not melt
within my skin beneath the judgmental gaze
of those who unfairly judged me.
And now, I had to face
the truth. My life was
what it was, and I had to accept it for what it was.
I rose and slowly lifted
the combined squares
of my life to the light.
An awe-filled gasp
filled the air.
I gazed around at the others who
stared at me with wide eyes.
Then, I looked upon
the tapestry before me.
Light flooded the many holes, creating an
image, the face of Christ.
Then our Lord
stood before me, with warmth and love in
His eyes.
He said, 'Every time
you gave over
your life to Me, it became My life, My
hardships, and My struggles.
Each point of light in
your life is when you
stepped aside and let Me shine through,
until there was more of Me than there was of you.'
May all our quilts be
threadbare and worn,
allowing Christ to shine through!
God determines who
walks into your life
....it's up to you to decide who you let walk
away, who you let stay, and who you refuse to let go.'
When there is nothing left but God that is when
you find out that God is all you need.
Pray this prayer is you like
Father God, bless all
my friends including myself in whatever it is that you know we
may need this day! And may their life be full of your peace, prosperity
and power as he/she seeks to have a closer relationship with you.
HEY BONNIE. THANKS FOR THE PRAYER. SORRY I HAVENT BEEN IN MUCH CONTACT. MY SISTER HAS SURGERY TOMORROW, THEY CANT FIGURE OUT WHATS WRONG WITH HER SO THEY HAVE TO REMOVE A PART OF THE SKULL AND PERHAPS REMOVE THE MASS. IT HAS GROWN AND HAS WORSENED HER CONDITION. PLEASE KEEPHER IN YOUR PRAYERS. ILL BE AT THE HOSPITAL TOMORROW, BUT WILL CALL WHEN IM BACK AT HOME. LOVE YOU MUCH AND MISS YOU, LISA
I thought you ws gonna give me a call. I got it but cant remember what i did with it. I know its www.myflorida.org or something like that. Ill give mey brotherinlaw a call to find out exactly what it is. I love ya bonnie. hare and much love, Lisaope all is good with you guys. take c
hey Bonnie, how ya been? Ive been meaning to call, sorry. I had a couple family emergencies. my computer is broke and I have to use my sons. call me tuesday, Ill be homw love ya Lisa
oh Bonnie I love ya sweetie, I know it does seem like a long time. My Aunt and Uncle went back home, I had a good visit with them. cant wait to show you my new craft stuff. love ya Lisa
I just love it when you use the word "young" with me lol I love you too Bonnie Sue. I hope you are feeling better. Now we are all getting the cold and stuff. It keeps on going round and round. Love you, Lisa
Bonnie call me. Im so sorry to hear your news. Ive been so busy with everything, please forgive me, but please call me love you girl and you are in my prayers, much love Lisa
Hello there beautiful! I checked out the pictures...loved them, especially the one of you and I turned out great. I hope you know how much you are loved just for being you. talk to you soon and also I swiped your pictures. love ya lisa
Hello there beautiful! I checked out the pictures...loved them, especially the one of you and I turned out great. I hope you know how much you are loved just for being you. talk to you soon and also I swiped your pictures. love ya lisa
Thanks Bonnie...I think youre pretty great too. Youve always been such a sweet and gentle spirit. Im so glad we spent some time together. alot has been going on in my life and it was really nice to visit with an old friend and reminisce about happy times long ago. Much love to you always, Lisa
hey girl! how has life been treating you? I was so glad to see you on here! and how could I ever forget one of the nicest and sweetest gal I ever met. Ive thought of you often over all the years. you;ll have to fill me in on your life and we'll get together! take care and God bless, Lisa
WOOOOOOOO HOOOOOOOOO Your back I have been blessed to be added to your list of friends on the marvelous and wonderful and awesome day the Lord has made for you and me and everyone else.
Hey BJ thanks for the Big ole add I hope and pray your having a wonderful and blessed Monday and week in the Lord.
Well 2007 Has been in full throttle so far for the first several months, which has been a huge blessings. I hope and pray that God will place in your heart to be a strong evangelist for Him, and that He can and will uses you in a mighty way to be a mouth piece for Him.
I have reflected over the past 15 years in Ministry, and I have been overwhelmed in all the different countries like Asia, Europe, Australia, Mexico, Canada, just to name and few and seen the Lord touch the lives of so many people. When they have asked Him into there hearts. Last year was so awesome and even bigger 2007. Please keep the ministry and those who have come to know the Lord that they will continue to grow and move the Gospel of Christ forward.
I just got back from Brazil after being there for 6 weeks, it was an amazing time of ministry and there were so many decisions for Christ.
If you check my website you can read what God did while in Brazil on my new road log.
It was a blessed time and I hope you enjoy reading about all that took place and what God did in Brazil.
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