Missing the point

About me:

I'm a superhero in disguise. Not the kind you normally think of though. No. My skills go beyond that. Way beyond. I can make birds poop on the heads of people I don't like. I have the ability to break things without even trying. I do it often. I can do backwards summersaults... in the water. I dominate at mini-golf, yet somehow I still end up losing (all bets are off). I have the unique ability to say exactly the wrong thing at exactly the wrong time. Classic Liz. I can make grown men cry, sometimes without even kicking that hard. I have the amazing ability to puke silently when wasted; it comes in handy when trying not to get kicked out of the bar. I play one mean game of kickball, probably b/c I'm practically the only player who doesn't drink during the game. Here's a little more about me for your reading pleasure:

My most overused phrase: "What?" I either don't listen, or some of the things that people say to me are too outlandish to believe
First thing I think when I wake up: I need to pee
Last image/thought I usually go to sleep with: 'How is it that a cute, funny girl like me is sleeping alone?' That is, unless I'm not.
First feature I notice of opposite sex: Smile - to make sure they have all their teeth
Best name for a Butler: Jeeves
Wussiest Sport: Curling
Your best feature: All of it, baby - Didn't I already mention that I'm awesome?
Your greatest fear: disappointment
Your greatest accomplishment: Being the awesome person that I am today
Your most missed memory: That one time... you, know... back in the day - with the thing, at that place. Yeah, you know.

You Are an Orange Martini

Everyone's favorite drunk, you're fun, flirty, and charming. Unfortunately, you often spark jealousy - and unintentionally start bar fights. You should never: Drink and dial. You'll just end up with multiple booty calls at your door! Your ideal party: Is huge and lively. You love to work a crowd. Your drinking soulmates: those with a Blueberry Martini personality Your drinking rivals: those with a Dirty Martini personality