I went apartment hunting this weekend. Not for myself, but nevertheless it made me want to move. I saw the most beautiful apartment ever up at the Camden in College Park. It's making me crazy...
Anyone want to sublet a nice 2 bedroom, 1.5 bath within walking distance to the Ballston Metro?
Seriously...
I got my government stimulus check in the mail last week. Even though I completely disagree with the politics behind this plan, I couldn't help but do a little happy dance when I ripped open the IRS envelope and saw a fat check for $600. What did I do with the money? Well, my purchase wasn't quite as creative as my favorite from http://www.howispentmystimulus.com/ , but it'll have to do. Here are some ideas from those who were much more creative and indulgent than me (with my comments included).
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5) "Lottery tickets and the casino. I ended up winning almost $2000 and spent half of it on hookers." Well now we know what W did with his money, you can't feel bad about blowing yours…
4) "I bought a puppy. His name is Rebate." I love it.
3) "My boyfriend and I eloped and went on vacation." No, this was not me, unfortunately.
2) "I bought new things for my SecondLife character." I think I used to date that guy…
1) "I donated it to our local zoo to help support the animals." Watch out for the Kung-fu Panda- he'll chop your head off
And me? Well, I went to Best Buy and got a great deal on a 37" Phillips LCD Flat Panel HDTV. It's glorious. And with that, I think I have to go - don't want to miss the Price is Right...
With the intense heat here in DC, I have compiled a list of observations. Feel free to add to it if you think of something I've left out.
1) I know it's hot, but no one wants to see you flabby ass in a speedo or bikini at the pool. Cover up with more than just sunscreen, Shamu. This is the reason that I will never wear a bikini - because I don't want people talking about me like this.
2) All liquids do not hydrate. If you're going to play kickball in 100 degree heat, beer may not be your best option.
3) Guys cannot eat popsicles without looking just a little bit gay. Just an observation.
4) I know you look good in leather, bikerman, but you're going to die - if not from your deathmobile then from cooking from the inside out in your ridiculous getup.
5) I never liked New Kids on the Block. I still don't. So, when you hear me singing their new radio release as I'm jamming to the radio in the morning it's only to drown out the sound of their voices.
On another note....
There was a great commercial on tv the other day. It was totally different than anything I'd ever seen. The fact that I was watching tv was out of the norm too, but that's beside the point.
A little girl is standing in front of an audience in a school auditorium. She timidly walks up tot he microphone, introduces herself, and dedicates her performance to one of her friends. She then commences to trashtalk the friend in front of everyone. The shot flashes on the audience's stunned face and back to her as she finishes, curtsies, and says thank-you. The voiceover sounds as the screen fades to black. It says, "If you wouldn't say it out loud, don't say it on the internet," and the following words appear: "Delete cyberbullying. Don't write it. Don't forward it." Intense.
Luckily, I don't like to bitch about people over the internet. I do it in person. Problem solved. Until next time...
Note to self: you are an idiot.
I had one of the worst hangovers of my life yesterday. Not the worst, but it definitely makes the top 10 list. Let me break it down for you. Horrible day at work for various uncontrollable reasons + last kickball game of the season + copious amounts of alcohol + Liz = badness.
I should have known it was going to be one of those nights when I realized my 20 oz. plastic water bottle could hold almost an entire bottle of wine. Hey, I had cheese and crackers for lunch so the wine was fitting, right? Yeah... So kickball. We lost. No suprise there. I did, however, score my first run of the season. To celebrate at the bar I bought shots for myself and the team.
Side story. One of my buddies rejected my chickish shot (surfer on acid) and instead insisted on getting his own shot of nastiness. So up ordering at the bar, these two old dudes start talking to me. I don't really know how the conversation veered, but the end result was my buddy trading his kickball shirt for a shot of nasty. I think the two dudes were unpleasantly surprised that my buddy was the one to bare his chest instead of me. Hey, the night was young...
After that, my compulsion to drink continued. I should have just called it quits right then and there, but bad days always lead to bad decisions. We lost at flupcup. Disappointment. Toasted. Left before the dancing... probably a good idea since who knows what shenanigans would have happened if I would have started that. I think I pissed the bf off with my drunkeness. Go figure. I do tend to over-do things sometimes. Insert own snide comment [here]*.
Fast forward to the next morning. Woke up in bed naked and to the sound of my alarm jabbing needles in my ears. Dragged my ass up and was at work on time for panel, but not in the best of shape. I was checking email for maybe 5 minutes before the dry heaves started. Luckily no one is there that early in the morning (I'm a 7:00 a.m.-er). Got the panel crap set up, but quickly realized after my third trip to the bathroom and finally puking that there was no way that I was going to make it. Excused from the panel, I made my way home and promptly went back to bed. I did end up going back in later in the day, without missing anything of significance but that's beside the point. End of story.
* My friend, Bob, upon hearing this story asked if I was "puke in the red cup drunk." The answer is yes, I was, but I had neither my red cup nor any puke (yet) so nyah.
In other news, life's been pretty uneventful. I went back to Illinois for a week to see the fam. It was lovely and relaxing and I gained five pounds sitting on my ass and watching their new 50" plasma and eating deliciousness. I think I lost it all though in the puking and other bodily functions from yesterday. I'm kind of in a rut when it comes to a few personal things. They're personal though, so I'm sorry to say that I'm not going to share. Sorry that this is a little anticlimactic. You have my permission to go jack-off.