GOOSE

"No married man is genuinely happy if he has to drink worse whisky than he used to drink when he was single."
~H. L. Mencken [1880-1956]

"Too much of anything is bad, but too much of good whiskey is barely enough."
~Mark Twain [1835-1910]

"So long as the presence of death lurks with anyone who goes through the simple act of swallowing, I will make mine whiskey."
~W.C. Fields [1880-1946]

"The advantages of whiskey over dogs are legion. Whiskey does not need to be periodically wormed, it does not need to be fed, it never requires a special kennel, it has no toenails to be clipped or coat to be stripped. Whiskey sits quietly in its special nook until you want it. True, whiskey has a nasty habit of running out, but then so does a dog."
~W.C. Fields [1880-1946]

"A man can take a little bourbon without getting drunk, but if you hold his mouth open and pour in a quart, he's going to get sick on it."
~Lyndon B. Johnson [1908-1973]

"Sure I eat what I advertise. Sure I eat Wheaties for breakfast. A good bowl of Wheaties with bourbon can't be beat."
~Dizzy Dean [1910-1974]

"He says one of the two things that men who have lasted for a hundred years always say -- either that they have drunk whisky and smoked all their lives, or that neither tobacco nor spirits ever made the faintest appeal to them."
~Edward Verrall Lucas [1868-1938]

"Give an Irishman lager for a month, and he's a dead man. An Isrishman is lined with copper, and the beer corrodes it. But whiskey polishes the copper and is the saving of him."
~Mark Twain [1835-1910]

I have taken more out of alcohol than alcohol has taken out of me.
~Winston Churchill [1874-1965]