Go Tina Go

About me:

If you are pregnant and in a crisis situation, please call OptionLine, a 24 hour Pregnancy Hotline at 1-800-395-4357. If you or someone you know is pressuring a woman to have an abortion, or if you're a woman being pressured to have an abortion, maybe it's a good idea to find out what an abortion really is. I challenge you to click here.



WARNING: So YOU will know the truth, I post a lot of bulletins, blogs and status updates about abortion. Some bulletins and/or blogs may contain some graphic images and videos. Sometimes seeing is believing, and I can't sugarcoat such an ugly procedure. If something is so horrifying that we can't stand to look at it, perhaps we shouldn't be tolerating it!



Welcome to my little space! First and foremost, I am a Christian. Being a Christian means to be a follower of Jesus Christ and His teachings. You can also click here for more information on what being a Christian means to me.

I am still human and I still make mistakes. I have never claimed to be perfect! I had an abortion 23 years ago when I was 22 years old. I was a single mom with two small children at the time. Their dad and I had been divorced for over a year, and me and my new boyfriend had been seeing each other for about 4 months. He moved in with me and swore "he couldn't get me pregnant." He had been married twice before and neither marriage produced a child. Being naive, I assumed he had a low sperm count (not just duh, but double duh!). I was then in a desperate situation with another pregnancy, or so I thought it was desperate. The baby's father left me claiming the baby wasn't his. I drove myself to the clinic for the abortion and drove myself home, not telling anyone anything. I cried all the way through the abortion and haven't stopped crying about it to this day! I saw the baby's daddy about a year later at a friend's house and he did make the comment that he wondered if the baby was a boy or a girl. Needless to say, I haven't seen him or talked to him since. If he happens to find this page, I want him to know there is forgiveness and healing.

I didn't talk to family or friends about my abortion at all. My family has never been very supportive, and that still hasn't changed. I barely talked about it all these years later, until now. I did share my story with my daughter when she was pregnant with her first baby. I told her the information on abortion was not as available back then as it is now (although this was certainly no excuse). There were no Pro-Lifers standing on the sidewalk in front of that abortion clinic then. Women are so vulnerable and impressionable at that age! I needed the facts, counseling, and maybe a checkup from the neck up! I was lost and far from God, and so ignorant on the subject of abortion. I was told at the clinic that my baby was just a "cluster of cells." The baby would have been born in January of 1987. I think about this baby all of the time, but it's especially hard for me every January (all month long). Since then, I've learned that there is a name for what I've been going through all of these years (other than a silent hell). There are long-term effects after an abortion that aren't brought up often enough, if at all. Please read more about Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome. Here are some of the symptoms of Post-Abortion Stress Syndrome: * Guilt * Depression * Emotional numbness * Sadness * Dreams/nightmares/flashbacks * Anxiety * Change in relationships * Suicidal ideas * Inferiority feelings * Abuse of alcohol/drugs * Sleep disturbances * Loneliness * Sexual problems * Sense of loss * Trouble making friends * Infertility * Eating disorders * Crying spells * Panic feelings * Regret * Unable to relax * Anger/rage * Marital stress * Fear of infertility * Fatigue * Helplessness * Difficulty bonding with children * Pre-occupation with abortion date or due date * Loss of self-esteem * Avoiding babies or things having to do with babies.

Three days after my abortion I began to hemorrhage and I ran a temperature of 103+. I called my doctor and he was really upset with me. I would have to meet him at the ER instead of meeting at his office as it was the weekend. He was embarrassed because my diagnosis was an "Incomplete Abortion" and every ER doctor knew who he was. So, just when I thought having an abortion was the worst thing I had ever done, imagine having to go through the emotional and physical pain of it twice and then still not telling anyone. I can't begin to imagine what the baby went through! I was in the hospital for two days just trying to get the bleeding stopped. I continued to have female problems and eventually had to have a hysterectomy. I could go on and on and on ... I have been pro-life since my abortion because of all I went through. I haven't done anything about it or talked to anyone. I can't remain silent any longer. This was my baby, not a dirty little secret! Hypocrite? Not hardly. You can't judge me any more than I can judge you. No one will be standing beside me or you when we have to give account for our lives before God when we die. It's easy to be pro-choice if you've never been through an abortion. Perhaps some women are still pro-choice afterward, but it has to be that they are in denial or still don't have all of the facts (including videos) about what was/is being done to their body and their baby's body. Maybe the pain of PASS has not set in. If I can help to change the mind of at least one woman that is considering abortion, or befriend a woman or man that has been through what I have (yes, men suffer too), then opening up about my experience is well worth it. If you or someone you know is thinking of an abortion ... please, please get all of the facts before you make a decision that affects you and your baby FOREVER! Help is available! If you've already had an abortion, there is also help for you from some very precious people who care. It does help to talk about it. Either way, the healing starts NOW! You are not alone! Sometimes your misery IS your ministry!

I still have a hard time forgiving myself for some of the things I've done - although I know the Lord has forgiven me. I still smoke, and I don't always use the best language. I am so imperfect in so many ways, but I'm getting better at knocking out one bad habit at a time (with the Lord's help). I am a work in progress, as God isn't finished with me yet! I love Jesus Christ with every fiber of my being. Whether this offends you or not, you're welcome to hang out in my little space for as long as you like! You might want to learn what I am learning ... how to live a life of PEACE! If you're like me, and sick of a life filled with guilt, constant conflict and drama, stop putting up with it and demand better! We are not doormats for the devil or anyone else!

More about me ...
I've been married to my best friend for more than 20 years! He has stood by me through thick and thin, to say the very least. He's a wonderful man: he has never raised his hand to hit me, he doesn't call me names, he doesn't scream at me, and he's been the best stepdaddy my kids could ever ask for! We still argue like everyone does, but we have enough respect for each other to not scream. You wouldn't believe the things we've been through together! He's a sweetie! I'm the Mom of two babies in Heaven, and two babies here on Earth. I don't know the genders of the babies in Heaven. I lost one to an Ectopic or Tubal pregnancy, and the other was the result of an abortion. I have my handsome son and my beautiful daughter here close by, and I'm a proud Maw Maw of 4 wonderful and very active grandchildren! They range in ages from 2½ years to 7 years. All of them bring me much joy! I am just goofy in love with them and their uniqueness!

For more than 4 years, I have been one of the full time caregivers for my mother and mother-in-law, both of whom live with us. Although it gets hectic sometimes, I know I will always cherish my time spent with them! I'm amazed at how many references in scripture talk about how "we" are to take care of the orphan and the widow. Psalm 10:14, Psalm 68:5, Psalm 146:9, Isaiah 1:17, Jeremiah 22:3 -- just as some examples. I haven't adopted any orphans (yet?), but I have had a special love for children and have been surrounded by children for most of my life. Sometimes I kid around and tell people that I think I've potty trained half of North Carolina! LOL!

I enjoy meeting new friends that are like-minded, reading (mostly online), movies, graphics, crafts, online games, etc. in my spare time. I have 12 years experience in graphic and web design, and 5 years experience in scrapbooking, both digital and with paper. You wouldn't believe the beautiful images you can create when you combine all of this!

Check back often to see what I've been up to lately!