About me: Exactly 12 hours after publishing an article in the Independent Weekly criticizing The News & Observer's lack of local music coverage, I received the following instant message communication:
AIM IM with mirabpep.
1/24/08, 1:07 AM
Which of the following most accurately describes you?
1) A giant douche.
2) A complete tool.
3) A balless pansy.
4) An overweight, unfortunate-looking hairy jackass of an amateur writer who likes to exploit bands for his own personal benefit.
5) Some amalgamation of all of the above.
Take your time; it's okay if they all seem like reasonable choices...
Because they're all true.
whoa!
how's it going?
1:10 AM
Either way, really, I think AIM is probably the most effective way to ask these questions!
Speaking of having no balls, who is this?
mirabpep has gone offline.
The two events may be unrelated. In any case, I feel these are the things you should know about me. Also, please note the invalid components of sections 4 and 5. It is impossible to exist simultaneously in four pure states and an amalgamation of those states, as option 5—later suggested to be as right as all of the other choices—indicates. Also, I may be a shit writer, but—by definition—I am not an amateur, as that is how I pay all my bills.
I do, however, agree that I am a giant douche, a complete tool, a balless [sic, you dumb motherfucker] pansy, and an overweight, unfortunate-looking hairy jackass. On the other hand, I do not believe the Earth is a dead ocean. Then again, cynicism and fucking people are not my strong suits. Eating is my main thing. Have you ever tried KFC's Flavor-Soaked Honey BBQ Chicken Strips???? FUCKING DELICIOUS.
