Adam
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You just got Gropped!
Male
37 years old
SANTA MONICA, CALIFORNIA
United States
Last Login: 11/5/2009
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Mood:
determined
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Adam's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | Grew up in the Boston area in a big Victorian house full of books and offbeat art. Dad is a "writer". Mom is an "artist". So, from the get go, our family was "different." When I was 10, my parents sent me to a sparse, woodsy overnight camp in Vermont that was like Marine Corps Boot Camp for the children of urban post-hippies. Hard to explain. Even harder to live through. We had a house for a few years in central New Hampshire, where we went in the summer and I learned to appreciate moss, freshwater swimming and old rusty cans. When I was 14, we moved from Boston to the Berkshires in Western Massachusetts, where I chopped down trees, hunted squirrel and contemplated existential misery and FM rock radio. Played little league baseball as a kid and got to wear a cool, MLB-style uniform with a snug-fitting jockstrap and cup. Went to a bizarre private school in upstate New York called Darrow School for a year. The students lived in rickety, historic wooden "Shaker" buildings and the school made you dig trenches and build guardrails every Wednesday. They called it "Hands to Work." -such a quaint term. Finished up high school back in Brookline, Ma. in the "alternative" program there called School Within A School (SWS), where students called teachers by their first name, sat on the floor in class and got to swear when discussing Kafka, Hunter S. Thompson or The Bible (read strictly as a "literary" work). Went to Reed College in Portland, OR, possibly even weirder and more intense than anything before. 1,000 people, hyper-intellectual-academic, and decadent/bacchanalian to the point where Caesar Caligula would have been like: "Dudes, c’mon, cool it!" Moved back to Boston where I got a computer tech support job at Lotus and discovered, after a year answering 20 customer calls a day- that I’m not really a "techie" at heart. Went from playing drums (in college was in a hardcore-punk-metal outfit called "Meister Band"- we drank Meister Brau) to lead singing. Took vocal lessons for a year and a half in Boston and sang with modern-rock quartet Furious George for around a year- did a dozen gigs around Boston including famous Bunratty’s, TT The Bear’s, The Middle East, etc. Moved to S.F. where a few old Boston friends were. Did more journalism (I had started in Boston) and went to a lot of cafes and parties in SF and rode my bicycle everywhere. Took improv classes there for fun, then decided SF was too small, pretentious and foggy and I wanted to get more superficial, brash and stuck in traffic so I moved down to LA with the dream of becoming either a writer, actor, or victim of a stupendously horrific and violent murderer, like that Black Dahlia woman. I do some different writing and performing activities. I just realized I’ve had a sort of strange interesting life - at least it looks that way in a Myspace "Bio" box. | | Influences | A guy standing behind the field anchor, waving and smiling gratuitously during a field report on an apartment fire on WHDH Chanel 7’s evening news in Boston. He just had a lot of vim and vigor and really "lit up the room". Stu Sutcliffe, the Beatle who tragically died. Emile Zola. Caesar Caligula. | | TV Shows | FX Network’s "Bobcat’s Bigass Show", ABC’s "The Next Best Thing: Search for America’s Greatest Celebrity Impersonator" |
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Adam's Interests
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| General | Molecules, Germs, Empty Space, Light, The Absence of Light, Time, Apricots.
- I enjoy coffee, but only beans picked by workers who were beaten. It just tastes better.
- I hate white people.
- I can tell everything about a person just by talking to them for 8 or 9 years.
- I believe in saving fossil fuels. I recently took a glider from L.A. to New York City.
- I once took my grandmother in a fight, and I barely broke a sweat.
- I always hold the door for a lady. None of the women I've dated are ladies.
- I liked the Rolling Stones before they sold out and started using electricity.
- I have two cardinals rules I live by. 1.) Always tell the truth. 2.) Occasionally lie.
- I would like to get big tattoos of biceps on my arms.
- I think that children are the future. Except for the ones that are already dead. | | Music | I think my car hit someone last night. They screamed and then made a muffled gurgling sound as they collapsed on the cool pavement. If you put that over a funky-dance drumbeat and turned down the high end, I think it'd make a pretty good song. I also like the Partridge Family, but only the really early stuff, when they did songs about arson and rape. | | Movies | My favorite movie is an Argentine/Mongolian/Serbian joint production called: "El Mono De Cuesta Muebles A Cheng Dong Hung Szytski Blisk" That translates into: "Dog Ashtray Porcupine Pickle Sneeze Bicycle Pump"
It's a great, wonderful, amazing movie with subtitles, an incredible soundtrack and no picture. | | Television | I don't watch television. Television watches me. | | Books | The Complete Unannotated History of Lettuce | | Heroes | Winston Churchill, Jim Varney, Tom Delay, Secret Squirrel. |
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Adam's Details
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| Status: | In a Relationship | | Here for: | Networking, Friends | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | Boston, MA | | Body type: | 6' 0" | | Religion: | Agnostic | | Zodiac Sign: | Aries | | Smoke / Drink: | No / Yes | | Children: | Someday | | Education: | College graduate |
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Adam's Schools
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Reed College
Portland,Oregon
Graduated: 1994
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Political Science
Clubs: Jr. Varsity Shuffleboard, Bulgarian Club, Voluntary Elementary School Sex Ed Tutors, Campus Christians Against Christ, Radish Club, Students For The Death Penalty, Committee To Divest From Finland, Organization To Legalize Aspirin, Coalition to Incinerate The Homeless
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1990 to 1994 |
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Adam's Companies
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United Pacific Federal Trust Limited Incorporated
Woodley Hills, KS US
General Managing Associate Director
Informational Inter-Company Intra-National Systems
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1995-2002
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Adam's Latest Blog Entry
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How Ironic Would George Carlin Find This?
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The Beach Life
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"The Hills" are Alive with Death of the American Brain
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The Writer’s Strike- I Have a Dream
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Cruise Control
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Adam's Blurbs |
About me:
6'0" (with exercising good posture), 195 lbs. (considerably less if I'm on the moon.)
Throw Right, Bat Right (learned to bat OK lefty as a kid) Write right handed.
I like almost every kind of food. What don't I like? Hmmmmm. Things that are severely rotting. Insanely spicy hot food, like Thai with three or four little pepper symbols on the menu. Not crazy about Brussell Sprouts, unless they're the ones with bacon crumbles at Mozza.
I am very double jointed in my fingers and can bend them back like a circus freak. I also can bend my arms way back behind my head in a way that people find curious and/or disturbing.
I have always been a person with a dry, quick sense of humor in real life, especially with regular people who enjoy listening. I find standup to often require a different sort of "funny," but I like those moments where I really bring my real, natural "funny" to the stage in it's pure state.
When I was in 4th grade, I wrote and cast a play (including myself as an actor) called "Alexander Graham Cracker"
At middle-school age, when my parents sent me to Hebrew School for one of their 3 or 4 attempts at giving me any sort of "Formal Jewish Education"- none of which ever lasted more than a few months- I won the story-writing award in my younger teacher's class for a short story about how they built the Tower of Babel upside down, starting with the top brick first. I can't remember much about the story, but that teacher was ridiculously hot and probably in her early 20's!
I've done journalism for many years (in Boston and S.F. also) and have lately been writing pieces for the L.A. Weekly and L.A. Metromix.
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Who I'd like to meet:
People who collect colorful birds, narcoleptic Fighter Pilots, guys who hit anvils with hammers, rebellious Mormons, Fundamentalist Anarchists, Billionaires who wear bow-ties and wire-framed spectacles, Basques into racist hip-hop and beautiful young ladies who enjoy fine wine, classical music and chloroform.
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| Adam's Friend Space (Top 8) |
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