Our Sophmore year, Dan and I (Andrew) started Playing open mics with a trashcan and a beat up old guitar. Needless to say we needed a step up. I found out that UW was offering $200,000 a testicle for research or something so I made the ultimate sacrifice and de-nutted. We used the money as a stepping stone. We got all top of the line equipment and when the Media found out I sold my ball to start the super-craziest band ever, "HAF-SAC" they went nuts (pun intended).
We soon got hella famous and I dated only the finest up and coming starletts. It was during the really steamy sex part of my dream that I woke up and we were still doing open mics with a trashcan and a crappy guitar. I told Dan and he said, "Well, we can still keep the name." And so we did.
We slowly moved up through the bar scene until one day out of the blue, Dan got married and moved away and then knocked up his wife and got a real job. It was a bummer.
I got all depressed and drank too much and got writers block for two years. Until one day our super-fan THE PROPHET MATTHIAS told me to quit feeling so sorry for myself and start doing shows again. He already knew all my songs, and was officially the best beatboxer in bellingham (Bob left). So we started doing shows again and blew minds, but something still wasn't right...
Then something terrible happened. My favorite band in the world, Cast of Characters, broke up. and one day I saw a bearded homeless guy crying in the streets, and I was gonna give him a buck when I noticed that it was Penney from COC, so Matthias and I took him in and gave him some warm Jeager and he was good as new. Penney brought a whole new dynamic to the band (talent), and now together we form the greatest band on earth again.
So watch out Earth. We're back.
