Who I'd like to meet:

People:
creative,positive (when ever possible) types, fellow gumtree Users, Fellow Talksport Listeners.

The Other Half:

If I had a livein boyfriend he'd have to be the sort that would NOT fart/scratch balls/pick nose or swear at the breakfast table - and he would actually sit at the table for breakfast!

He'd be a NON SMOKER / NON DRINKER, be unpatronizing, calm in crisis (even when I'm hysterical), and not be a bitch or constantly complain about money/bills, illnesses, how shit their lifes are, how sexy their friends wife is (if you want her go get her, just make sure I never find out about it, cos I will kill you)

He'd have to know the antatomy of a woman & how to 'do the business' properly (or be willing to learn again if your previous woman was really faking it)

I'm thinking of doing an animation on the sort of person I really don't want a relationship with (unless you are rich enough to be modified) - as I seem way too fussy & shallow for my own good -

BUT THAT BEING SAID

a surefire way to put me off for good (if you are a bloke I want, and you don't want me) is to take up wearing velvet jackets, cordroy or 'pastel' shades of tight nylon trousers (golfing trousers)or ski pants

- or start riding a bicyle -

I can't stand the sight of a bloke on a bike or in open toe sandals (or those Crocs shoes) are also out on my man, as are cloggs, short shorts, long/ungroomed hair (anywhere on body)

Any sort of unpolite behaviour in front of my family/friends is a no no - hence you will always bring a gift (bunch of flowers or summin ?) to the mother (nay, Matriarch) when we visit as a token of good will(you'd only have to see her on the odd occassion, if you have a real problem with dominant mothers) but I generally like my family most of the time - so I will not give them up for a man - unless we emigrate somewhere nice o'course....

Naturally I can wear & look excatley as I want in this relationship as I am really the boss! (I can pretend that you are incharge infront of your family/friends but you may suffer for it later if you are too OTT, so be warned!)



Spinsterhood, yeah, I'm getting used to it, can't you tell???

oh & to see how much of a hypocrite I am - even to myself - read my damming article on shallow men!

The Problem With Men is.....They want fake breasts really