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We decided to do this as an interview, like in the paper, cos we couldn’t think of anything else. The interviewer's not a real bloke – we just made him up (we decided to call him 'Mike').
Mike: How did you start singing?
Tina: I was in a school nativity play playing one of the Three Wise Men (I brought murr) to the Baby Christ (actually a doll), and Miss Harrison said I could sing 'We Three Kings' by myself, cos Paul Figgis who was one of the other kings (frankenbollocks) had laryngitis, and Sandra Spall (gold) couldn't sing for shite. Everybody said I was ace, even Mister Poole who was the wanker Year Three teacher who had a glass eye. So then I knew I was going to be a star.
Mike: Were you in the play, Marie?
Marie: I was a donkey but standing just on his back two legs, carrying a cushion with a little crown on it.
Mike: What then?
Tina: We started singing karaoke at family piss ups when we were about nine, and Uncle Les said we were really good so he put us on at the Pub he had in Denton (The Swan) a few times. He got us hot pants and sequinned boob tube things and called us Barely Legal and we used to get loads in – even on Tuesday nights. We weren't legal either, the cheeky bastard - but he used to give us four quid each and half pints of cider and black for nothing.
Marie: He used to give us free meat and potato pies too, but I didn't eat them that often cos they gave me bum issues. My digestive system’s really fucking sensitive.
Mike: How did you become the HearKittyKitty we all know and think are boss?
Tina: First off we were called The Soul Sisters, and we started doing bigger nights – mainly at the Spotted Dog in Droylsden and The Bell in Harpurhey. But everyone used to say 'are you real sisters?', and it was a total pain in the arse because I got fed up having to tell people I'm not adopted every five minutes, so we changed the name: first to The S.S. because we couldn't be arsed thinking of anything, then someone said that that was some German death squads or something so, then we came up with HearKittyKitty.
Marie: We spelled 'Hear' - like 'Hear' with your ears, not 'Here' like 'over here'. But we thought we should spell the Kitty bit normal, so we did.
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