"You have to consider the possibility that God does not like you. He never wanted you. In all probability, he hates you. This is not the worst thing that can happen. We don't need Him. Fuck damnation, man, fuck redemption! If we are God's unwanted children, so be it!"- Tyler Durden
Me and some people will be working on a machinima called, "The Leader, the Sociopath, and the One No-One Likes" based off of a story I've written called..... well it has no actual name, but it kicks ass so it don't mother-fucking matter that it has no title because I pwns anything you can write you Narato fan-fiction fag!!!
Things about me:
Birth Name: HeyZeus Ezekiel Jesus esquire III pt. 4 Redux
Age: -4,000 x 2 + Y(X - 12)
Birthplace: the Black Forest of the Village of a Thousand Young Just Off the Banks of the River Styx Located in the Most Horrible Place You Could Ever Imagine... Ohio
Location: The Dirty South
Ethnicity: Demigod
Weapon(s):
- Ancient bone saber of Zumakalis!
- The sword I made form the horn of a Narwhal (It died of natural causes....... a bullet in it's face)
- Schwerer Gustav
- M16A3 with a M203 under-barrel grenade launcher and a tactical scope for precision medium distance headshot assassinations of old people.
- Remington 870 tactical with incinerary shells.
- BFG9000.
- Vulcan cannon.
- Stagg X400-GBK "X Metal" solid body electric guitar, Ibanez bass guitar, and Second hand Epiphone G-40 guitar all played through a Peavey Bandit 65 amplifier.
Other Facts:
I'm broke.
I like Banana pudding.
SO IT HAS BEEN WRITTEN SO IT SHALL COME TO PASS!!! (I didn't to steal that from a source I cannot name right now)
Aqua Teen Hunger Force is the comedy of the gods. Because only a poor man has one god.
I am the Omega.
Everyone in The Dwarves will go to "Heaven"
I am the Highlander.
I fought in the first Milky Way-Andromeda War from 2123 - 2134.
I believe in euthanasia of the elderly (see Assisted Living Dracula)
I created the Universe with my creativeness.
I play guitar and bass in the sludgecore/deathgrind band 'Norsemen of the South'.
I'm a nihilist.
Oh, and
I Don't Trust Whitey
Books I've Written:
Some Book About a Dickhead Named “God” (2)
The Bible Part 2 - Crucify This (3)
Did You Know Jesus Killed a Guy? (17)
Whiskey Tango Foxtrot series of kick-ass Thrash metal goodness. (1776)
How The Nazi Kittens Started World War VIII Part 4.5 (1952)
Just Jab the Kid in the Throat (1984)
Go Listen to J-Pop You Faggot (2008)
Heroin: the Cure for Bass Players (2008)
Fred Thinks the Girl From Tokyo Hotel is Hot (2008)
Marijuana‘s Still Better Than Crack and MTV (1999)
Whatever Queer: The Greatest Guide to Parenting (2001)
The Fine Art of Skull Raping (1283)
Surviving Abortion: Paris Hilton‘s Untold Story (2009)
Let Your Kids Wrestle With Alligators (2009)
Did You Really Let Your Kids Wrestle With Alligators? (2010)
The Cake is a Lie!! Eat Pie (2006)
How Armake21 Will Always Get More Pussy Than You (2009)
Funny and Offensive: The Guide to Great Film Making (2008)
Go Suck a Bag of Dicks!!! (1992)
Nobody Gives a Fuck About Your Feelings Roy (20092)
Polio is Great for Kids: A Children‘s Medical Book (1498)
The Bible in Binary Code (2009)
The Irate Gamer is Great Psychological Torture (2009)
Blackledge‘s Guide to the Art of Curbstomping (2143)
Your Mother Was a Groupie for Satan (2008)
Shut-Up and Eat your Banana Pudding (2008)
Sonuvacuntfaceddoubleamputee (2010)
Films I've Done:
Year - Film Title - Role - Notes
Year: -53
- Pyramid of Blood Scheme Perpetrated by Dracula - Role: Mercenary
- Blood Spiral - Role: That Guy - Notes: Scene Deleted
- Terror Core - Role: Dude #1 - Notes: Died on Set
Year: 0
- Happy Birthday Jason Harry Crisp - Role: Dave
- Cannibals - Role: Cannibal #5 - Notes: Internet Movie
Year: 10
- Banana Pudding of Massacre Boulevard - Role: Guy at Wedding
Year: 1287
- Firebombs Over Tokyo - Role: Dave Jefferson
- No Man's Land - Role: Tex
- Roadkill - Role: Paul
Year: 1567
- Satan‘s Monkey Brain Diet - Role: Steve
- Markus the Space Lord - Role: Markus
- Beth the Space Lord - Role: Markus
Year: 1945
- Sleep Away Camp 5: Teddy Bear Massacre 3 - Role: Man Shaving
- Illegally Insane - Role: Kid at Police Station - Notes: Cameo
- The Fargate - Role: Wraith Elite #2 - Notes: Academy Award Nominee
- Jesus Said "SHUT THE FUCK UP!!" - Role: Leviathan
- When the Sun Goes Down - Role: Guy Holding Michael's Severed Head - Notes: Cameo
Year: 1975
- JQK- Role: John Q Kickass
- JQK: Direct to Theaters - Role: John Q Kickass
- JQK: Directer to Theaters - Role: John Q Kickass
Year: 1999
- Snuff - Role: Producer
- Dooms-Mother-Fucking-Day - Role: God
- Snuff Club - Role: Jax
- It‘s the End of the World That Matters: Death of Innovative Gaming - Role: Gamer
- Shut the Fuck UP!! Part 2 - Role: The Guy That Fucks Your Girlfriend
- Sonuvabitch! - Role: Your Murderer
Year: 2008
- Two Drunk College Chicks Get Fucked by A Chainsaw - Role: Frank
- Mercenary for Pussy - Role: D-Squared
- Bacon > Christ - Role: Stephen
Year: 2148
- The Devils-Ops- Role: Lt. Levy
Televison Appearances:
Year - Show Title - Role - Notes
1922-2234 Whiskey Tango Foxtrot - Role: Zeus - Notes: Sixty-Three Episodes (two have yet to air)
1936 Law and Order: Meter Maids on Mercury - Role: Guy with the Lamborghini - Notes: Guest star, 1 episode
1989 Law and Order: Breakfast Menu Order Intent - Role: Guy who buys the hash browns - Notes: Guest star, 1 episode
2234-2276 Snuff Film Bloopers - Role: Host - Notes: Longest Running Underground TV show ever
2321-present Hammer Smashed Face - Role: Sergeant Orslo - Notes: Emmy Award
Other Inventions:
Shotgun Mouthwash now in Cinnamon, SO BUY IT!! (Other flavors include: Banana pudding, Strawberry, Sour Apple, Chicken/Generic Flavor #3, Watermelon, Kurt Cobain, Fruit Punch, Blueberry, Per Yngve Ohlin, Snuff film, Master Blaster, Pipe Cleaner, Menthol, Cheeseburger, Fast Food, Peppermint, Mentha spicata and others)
The Universe.
Heaven.
Hell.
Hel.
Your mom.
Horror Pictures at satanspace.com
Free Satanic layouts at SatanSpace.com
