Dr Hildevor Sandovitz DBA Dr Hilly Sands:
musical saw, pec horn, tormento, ungaloons, tromboon, armpit
Influences
Jacks Are Better, Kensington Market Medicine Show, Aaron Chapman, Tom Holliston, and his Opportunists, Sparkjiver, Bocephus King, Gene Hardy, Kevin Quain, Little Bastards, Roscoe Arbuckle, Dean Drouillard, Adam Warner, Tommy Cooper, Lick The Pole, Mack Swain, Run With The Kittens, The Show Business Giants, DLR era Van Halen, Karen Carpenter, Le Petomane, Mitsou, Nomeansno, Ben Turpin, Tadros, Greheme Kirkland, Esquivel, Michael Angelo Batio, Kansas, Douglas Fairbanks Sr., Capitan & Tenniel, Billy Barty, Billy Ocean, Billy Idol, Billie Jean King, Alan King, Larry King, King David & The Pharaohs, Pharaoh Saunders, Colonel Saunders, Colonel Klink, Nuke Buttertart, Sonique Daagerrs, and lil shirtless Bob Denver
Dr HILLY SANDS (Dr Hidevor Sandovitz)
Trained in the vaudevillian arts at a very early age, Sands rose early to prominence as a performing child & teen with his plate spinning & pec horn (trombone) skills (he would do them simutaneously, often using fine bone china from the monied & famous guests who hired him).
Sands' performances were the talk of Hollywood's elite, which resulted in a brief stint as PickFairs first and only "orphan in residence" - until an episode with one of Douglas Fairbank's BBQ aprons led to his quiet departure.
Many years later during a chance meeting, the two mended their rift on The Lucy Edgar (David Niven's beloved party yacht) vowing never to speak of it again. They never did.
His ability to use his bare foot to extend the extra-long custom made trombone slide to it's full length was impressive - but it was his rapport with an audience is what has sustained him to this day.
Over the years he became the confidant or lover of Tinsel-town's most celebrated. One time reputed paramour Ava Gardner once dubbed him "the troll with soul [sole]" - a double-edged tribute to his exceptional choices in footwear and his early behind the scenes work with R&B sensation James Brown.
Sand's contribution to popular culture & commerce cannot be over-estimated: fridges with ice makers in the door; LPs with a secret hidden track in a second groove; the first commercial staple remover; fiberglass insulation's pink hue; the term "shag carpet"; the ornate design on the Oreo cookie biscuit; all very different, and yet, very "Sands".
One time snooker partner and author, L. Ron Hubbard revealed in one of his last interviews that "Sands was a true renaissance man - a man of his age - and the only person ever to have rooked me out of a fox-fur coat in a lightning fast game of cut-throat. He wore that thing in the summer in the Nevada desert if he knew he was going to see me. He never let me forget it."
Sands has always had a soft spot for Hollywood's little people, dating back to his days as a midget wrangler on the set of Victor Fleming's* classic, The Wizard Of Oz. This culminated in an annual lobster dinner/dance honoring stunt/body doubles for Sands confidant, entertainer Billy Barty, held at NYC's Le Cirque2000**. The now defunct H.Sands Orphanage was an out growth of his facination with tiny human beings. An online museum for it's artifacts is being created by the Barty/Sands Foundation, pending government subsidies from a sypathetic Schwarzenegger administration & legal clearances from former residents.
We hope you enjoy these Sands reminiscences posted here. They are but a tiny snippet of the hours & hours of taped interviews, lovingly restored and in some cases, enhanced with audio soundscapes courtesy of some of the worlds top orchestras and musicians.
Special thanks to The Bob Hope Trust; Teddy Pendergrass; the Estate of William Conrad; the Estate of King Vidor; Rona Barret; the City of San Ynez, California; BartyWorld; Kitten Natividad; Noam Chomsky; The 12th Annual Catalina Island Rugby Festival; Edgar & Lucy Sandovitz, and the Melbourne Cricket Grounds.
* The two met when Sands, of small staure, was tapped as Freddie Bartholomew's body double on director Fleming's 1937 triumph "Captains Courageous" for MGM.
** AUCTION: Le Cirque 2000 Miniature Lobster Bib http://www.cafepress.com/hillysands.10714441
BELOW: Sands' protoge Bill Shatner's astonishing reading of Rocketman
The best page on My Space, hands down. I love your Testimonial Hilly. You know you make a mean Tom Collins, and you can Dirt Bike like no other Hilly.
Now I'll get right to it...... I think I might have left my Apron in your guest house, could you look for me Hilly? I'd hate to go to tonights meeting without it. Also I hope I can get that Hookers gum out of my Fez too.Fuck Hilly, I am in a bit of a motherfucking JAM here, however just knowing that I'll be sipping liver grenades with you soon on the 9th floor, I forget most of my worry.I am super motherfuckin glad you're alive Hilly......2 fingers to the stars Hilly, and Hilly?2 fingers to the Sands.
Compasses, eyes and pyramids, eagles with claws full of arrows, tell tale tapestries, and motherfucken SHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVed ice.
Hola Senor Sands... We hope all is well at your hacineda. If you are up for some good tejaño punk mariachi-ska come on down to our, how do you say... "gig"?... at the Media Club on Friday November 24th! See you at the dice game in the back.
I've been working on my 2-step-southern-rock-prog grooves lately...love the workout. It makes poutine seem so "passe". Would love to join you on the next album - either as trombone tech and/or percussionist!
Sir, your exhaustive knowledge of mixiology is both inspiring and useful! I think I'll be making mine with the Shetland pony option.
Any tips on buying a good pair of spats in Toronto? I'm tired of the cheap ones.
Doctor,
thanks for the previous advice ... I'm currently auditioning for slim sidekicks.
Now, surely you know where a fellow can get an authentic Moscow Mule cocktail in the Toronto area. No one seems to have the proper copper vessels for this drink!
Dear Dr. Sands,
thanks for adding me - it's an honour to be your friend.
any wardrobe advice for someone who wants to look hip, but has the physical profile of Alan Hale (the Skipper on Gilligan's Island)?
the deck shoes and polo shirt are getting threadbare.
I still have the Hilly Sands "Live at the Trocadero" comedy album on 8-Track! its a little dated. The "Chief Drinkem' Up" routine is so politically incorrect it makes Amos & Andy sound progressive. But I'm glad I've never ebay'ed this gem.
Dr. Sands,
The cream you gave me for my rash really just made things a whole lot worse. Have any of your other patients grown a tail as a side-effect of this cream? Its only about 2 inches...but its a tail and its ruining the back of my pants. Also, I'd like to schedule another blood-letting session for this week.
Thanks,
Christine
i am a longtime admirer of your work. your contributions to the arts, social issues, and the world of pineapple origami are unparalled. you are a true friend of humanity.
viva the king!
