Bigfoot, Nessie (our underwater ally), Dr. Grover Krantz, Fred Gwynne, playa hating, waxing nostalgic, waxing and milking, wax on wax off, sand the floor, paint the fence, collecting vinyl--from Abba to Zappa to Abba Zabba.
Music
Elliott Smith (R.I.P.), Liars, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Syd Barrett, David 'four decades of quality' Bowie, T-Rex, The MC5, Stooges, Turbonegro, John Frusciante, Liars, Mission of Burma, Husker Du, Interpol, Richard Hell, Leadbelly, Captain Beefheart, The Stooges, The Ramones, Wu Tang Clan, The Hives, The Velvet Underground, Glenn's Misfits, Syd's Floyd, Big Youth, Suicide, Gang of Four, Os Mutantes, Peter Tosh, The Kinks, Joy Division, Johnny F*%in' Cash, Sonic Youth, Television, Cibo Matto, The New York Dolls, Caetano Veloso, Bauhaus, Yusef Lateef, Horace Andy, Patti Smith Group, The Beach Boys (66-72), The Damned, Ween, The Rutles, Black Uhuru, Robert Johnson, Weezer, XTC, Barrington Levy, Biggie, Red Aunts, The White Stripes, Nick Drake, Bad Brains, Beck, Love, The Chambers Brothers, The Pixies, Dead Kennedys, Fela Ransome Kuti, Black Flag, Minor Threat, Sublime, Gil Scott Heron, Ol' Dirty Bastard, The Replacements, Devo, Bunny Wailer, The Dead Milkmen, The Ethiopians, Dinosaur Jr, Rolling Stones (Jones/Taylor), Skip Spence, The English Beat, Buzzcocks, The Nazz, Albert Ayler, The Smiths, (Mother's Era) Zappa, The B-52s, The Fall, TV Personalities, Elvis Costello, Sleater/Kinney, Tenacious D, Big Black, The Germs, Nirvana, Rage Against The Machine, Funkadelic, The Toilet Boys, The Slits, Angry Samoans, The Wipers, Bikini Kill, A Tribe Called Quest, The Clash, Breeders, The Minutemen, X, Magazine, Thelonious Monster, Pete Case's Nerves, Big Star, Veruca Salt, The Who (with Moon), Everclear, Machine Levine, Circle Jerks, Fear, Jonathan Richman and the Modern Lovers, Galaxie 500, Lynton Kwesi Johnson, The Heartbreakers, Suicide, fIREHOSE, Butthole Surfers, Deep Purple, Beastie Boys, Miles Davis, Pretty Things, Jane's Addiction, Modest Mouse, PiL, P.J. Harvey, Birthday Party, Fishbone, A Tribe Called Quest, Circle Jerks, Dead Boys, Flipper, Libertines, Angst, Babyshambles, Johnny Thunders, DeeDee King (the Rappin' Ramone), Mississippi Fred McDowell, The English Beat, Dr. Alimantado, Burning Spear, and the pride of NYC: SLUNT
Movies
Dr. Strangelove, Bedazzled (1968), The Loved One, Brewster McCloud, The Warriors, Cruising, Barton Fink, Taxi Driver, The Producers, The Royal Tenenbaums, Bottle Rocket, Hard Eight, Nashville, Boogie Nights, Blacula, The One And Only, Mandingo, Planet Of The Apes (1969), Harold & Maude, Bone, Kingpin, Citizen Kane, Goodfellas, Dazed and Confused, Blow Out, Apocalypse Now, Ed Wood, Safe Men, The Jerk, Neighbors, Take The Money And Run, Student Bodies, Head, Medium Cool, French Connection, Aguirre The Wrath Of God, Fitzcarraldo, A Shot In The Dark, An American Werewolf In London, Manhattan, Kingpin, Dogtown And Z Boys, Meatballs, Caddyshack, Young Frankenstein, McCabe And Mrs. Miller, Sunset Boulevard, Fargo, Psycho, The Trouble With Harry, Jaws, Chinatown, Waiting For Guffman, The Big Picture, The Big Lebowski, Rushmore, Magnolia, Run Ronnie Run, Old School, Where The Buffalo Roam, Slapshot, Halloween, The Fog, Repo Man, The Blues Brothers, The Shining, The Taking Of Pelham 123, Five Easy Pieces, Heaven Can Wait, The Godfather I & II, All The President's Men, The Party, Kentucky Fried Movie, The Fearless Vampire Killers, The Last Picture Show, Amazon Women On The Moon, Sorcerer, Return Of The Dragon, The Poseidon Adventure, Targets, Dolemite I & II, Heat, Murder By Death, Carlito's Way, The Cable Guy, Close Encounters Of The Third Kind, Cooley High, O Brother Where Art Thou, C.H.U.D.
Television
Freaks And Geeks, Undeclared, Larry Sanders Show, Fawlty Towers, Curb Your Enthusiasm, Animal Precinct, The Richard Pryor Show, Animal Cops, Chapelle Show, Insomniac, Columbo, Monty Python's Flying Circus, The Young Ones, Open All Hours, Barney Miller, The Battle Of The Network Stars
Books
Catch-22, Post Office, Red-Dirt Marijuana, Dopefiend, Junky, Pimp, Ham On Rye, Barrel Fever, Nine Stories, The Sound And The Fury, The Bell Jar, Easy Riders Raging Bulls, Kavalier & Clay, Please Kill Me, Let It Blurt, The Memories Of An Amnesiac, Raw Talent, Gates Of Eden, The Wonder Boys, The Naked Soul Of Iceberg Slim, One Flew Over The Cuckoo's Nest, A Drinking Life, A Confederacy Of Dunces, How To Talk Dirty And Influence People, Confessions Of A Dangerous Mind, Pure Dynamite, Psychotic Reactions And Carburetor Dung, American Scream, If I Stop I'll Die, Lost In The Wood, Lobotomy, Our Band Could Be Your Life, Blue Movie, A Smattering Of Ignorance, Franny & Zooey, Lost In The Funhouse, Now Dig This, A Grand Guy, This Is Orson Welles, Go Now, Laid Bare, Hell's Angels, Absalom! Absalom, As I Lay Dying, Which Lie Did I Tell, The Last Night Of The Earth Poems, Howl, The Final Solution, Paradise Fever, High On Rebellion, Jazz Is, Evergreen Review Reader, Slaughterhouse-5, Mr. Mike, Nightmare Of Ecstacy, The Men Behind Def Jam, The Kid Stays In The Picture, Soledad Brother
Heroes
Orson Welles, Oscar Levant, Richard Pryor, Bill Hicks, Woody Allen, Terry Southern, Colin Higgins, Peter Sellers, Walt "Clyde" Frazier, Hank Bukowski, Dick Gregory, Billy Friedkin, Michael O'Donoghue, Lester Bangs, Iceberg Slim, Leni Riefenstahl, Wes Anderson, Buster Keaton, Greg Sage, Neil Cassidy, Jonathan Richman, Lenny Bruce, Bob Newhart, Sitting Bull, Ernesto Guevara, Fidel Castro, Harpo & Chico & Groucho & Karl Marx, Gil Scott Heron, Emma Goldman, Iggy Pop, Thomas Paine, Monty Python, Eddie Murphy, Mort Sahl, Jonathan Winters, Nichols & May, Bob & Ray, Peter Cook & Dudley Moore, Sacco & Vanzetti
About me: Contact Tables
I once included the name of The Love Boat's Captain Merrill Stubing in a rap.
I once said to former Mayor Ed Koch: "Hey, Ed, how am I doing?"
I interviewed Roger Daltrey and couldn't believe how tiny he was.
If Orson Welles and Thora Birch had a child... I'd be that child. And then I'd marry myself.
I'm a former breakdancer from Hollis, Queens, who lived Graffiti Rock every bit as much as Prince Vince Gallo and Debbie Mazur.
My previous jobs include groundskeeper at a mental hospital, Barney at kids' birthday parties, ghostwriter for a religious magazine, and I am currently editor-in-chief at a men's magazine.
I have two light settings in my apartment, pitch black and operating room.
I have two speeds, break-neck and I-don't-wanna-go-to-church.
I hate it when broadcasters use the phrase, "I'll tell you what...." It's your goddamn job to "tell us what," you moron!
Paul McCartney is my fourth favorite Beatle. Bob Marley is my third favorite Wailer--after Peter and Bunny--I swear to god.
If I were on Barney Miller, I'd be Dietrich. If I were in A Tribe Called Quest, I'd be Phife. If I were in Warriors, I'd be Ajax. If I were in Citizen Kane, I'd be Joseph Cotten. If I were in Dr. Strangelove, I'd be Gen. Turgidson. If I were in Dazed and Confused, I'd be Wiley Wiggans. If I were in Abbot & Costello, I'd be Abbot. If I were a Bad News Bear, I'd be Tanner Boyle. If I were a Marx Brother, I'd be Harpo--no, Chico--no, no, I'm tired of talking--Harpo. If I were in the Damned, I'd be Captain Sensible. If I were in The Karate Kid, I'd be Johnny. If I were in The Pink Floyd, I'd be Syd Barrett. If I were a character in Nine Stories, I'd be Teddy. If I were on Freaks and Geeks, I'd be Sam. If I were in Husker Du, I'd be Grant Hart. If I were a table, I'd only have three legs. If I were a dog, I'd be a Jack Russell. If I were liquor, I'd be Jack Daniels. If I were a gun, I'd be a Mack-10. If I were a cartoon character, I'd be Yosemite Sam. If I were you, I'd send me an e-mail.
So i missed your birthday! Happy belated! i'm sorry that i've been out of pocket for so long. Things have been really crazy - some in a good way and some not so good - but we should definitely get together soon!
First of all, you never let on how much you like a girl. "Oh, Debbie... Hi". Two: you always call the shots. "Kiss me. You won't regret it". Three: act like wherever you are, that's the place to be...."Isn't this great?". Four: when you order food, you find out what she wants, then order for the both of you. "The lady will have the linguini and white clam sauce, and a Coke with no ice". Five, most important, when it comes down to doing it, whenever possible, put on side one of Led Zeppelin 4.
Ok, so yes, on Friday, i shall rally and bring as many records as i can carry on the train. 2 hours, maybe? Because it's your birthday and of course you want to chat everyone up! Oh, us Leos. Or whatever. Talk soon. Dinner tomorrow maybe?
Is the offer for dinner still on the table? Yet another job loss has left me very stranded (GM quit - all trainees got axed). Sorry that i've missed you all this week. Couldn't get my sister out last Sunday. Talk soon...
