HolyOctopus.com

The Tarvunty (in 8 hours!) Beginnings - the creation of the two universes Questions - why are we here? Why are not here? Why would we have been there? Questions on daily philopophy Narratives - Stories pertaining to honour, and humourous lyrics Dilemmas - Which river should a blind man cross if a deaf lady is on the other side etc Decisions - Should one say yes or no? When to say yes or no? Daily decision making Contradictions - A treatise on life's contradictions Proffets - Stories of the lives of the great Tarvuist proffets Penty-haynu - Details regarding the practice of Penty-haynu. Includes diagrams Journals - Tarvu's daily diary from the age of 16-20 - Discusses the onset of a very late puberty Piety - prayers Clocks - Time-telling methods Narchunassaar - How to make Narchunassaar, and the best time to do so Tertunassaar - As above Virbunasaar - The way to dress, Tarvuist style Numbers - A collection of facts and figures relating to numbers. I.e 'there are 5 number 9's in the number 99999' Lucky Numbers - As above but all to do with the number 8 Answers - Answers to all questions left unanswered so far in the Tarvunty More Answers - Basically Answers continued. Bells - Treatise on bell-making and ringing Paradoxes - Tarvuist paradoxes Ablutions - Pertaining to matters of the toilet Witnesses - Holy Tarvuists who have witnessed great things, i.e Alvinni the Martyr Coincidences - Tarvu bumped into himself on Ralfinty Island, when he least expected it etc. Come-uppances - Those who have crossed Tarvu, and what happened to them Musings - Thoughts on life in general Irritations - Things that have annoyed Tarvu (such as stomach cramp) Follies - Little jokes Recipes - Tarvuist meals - how to make them Panacaeum (the Book of Medicines) - Natural remedies Fashion - A replica of Virbunasaar, but written in capital letters Morals I - Tarvuist morals Morals II - As above Ghosts - A personal reflection written by Amzamiviram on ghosts he has met Feelings - Tarvu discusses various feelings he has had in his life. The greatest proportion is devoted to shyness Wars I - Tales of terrible battles witnessed by Tarvu Wars II As above, contd. Property - How to keep a good house. Tips on buying a house Fools - Idiots Tarvu has met Mistakes - Errors committed by Tarvu (very short section) Animals - Early zoology Monsters - Amzamiviram muses on possible monsters that might have existed Plays - Three plays written jointly with Amzamiviram: 'He is the Light' 'And they Bowed Down' and 'Handmaiden in Love' Manners - Tarvunian etiquette Heavens - Details on the afterlife A Treatise on Succesful Irrigation Systems Bellimentiharbu ('Bellmanship' ) - a treatise on bell design, written with Amzamiviram Doppi-nidoppinarvu I-IV (roughly tr., 'Criticisms') - a selection of reviews of musicians, plays and other entertainments that Tarvu witnessed.