MySpacea place for friends

Alan: "I bet you one day, just ONE day, that at university you'll wake up next to a guy"

Mr Bristor: "You have to jump for the ball, you can't just let it fall into your hands like your GCSEs"

Edd: "He can't be that clever if he's in a wheelchair"

Chris: "You break the truce and i'll break your legs"

Jack: "You're going to touch THAT?!?"

Alan: "Lads, i think ive cummed."

Lucas: "I could pull any girl here"

DaveAnderson: "Why was a Hardy so Negative towards the end of this poem" - "probably because he read his book"

Edd: (in reference to girls on msn) "I refuse to talk to them till they put their webcam on"

Martyn: "Go Back to Auschwitz"

Dave: "Evening Ladies!"

Jonny: "What Hair?"

Phil: "Remember when we stayed at your house and your sister was there with all her friends... i touched her"

Angus: "What's that chris, you've got all the balls but no one to play with!"

Rob: "Shh... Im Praying"

Rob: "He's like me only comedy"

Edd: "I didnt want it to go all over me, that's why i was sucking it"

Dave: "Is it an indian wedding?" - "yes" - "will there be elephants?"

Martyn&Jack: "Excuse me, do you have myspace?"

Jack: "Jo's got well good crabs; they can speak nine different languages!"

Joe: "James Williams couldn't catch AIDs!"

Nav: "i was a sheep in the herd, merely a sheep i tell you!"

Phil: "I aint had a wog on my farm for 50 years"

Phil: "This is my killing knife"

Nav: "We love that shit"

Edd/Rob: "come on mate dont get lary if yr balls aint hairy"

Dan: "Your mum's got aids. Jew Aids."

Edd: "that would be really gay!........... err, in a, urm, non-homosexual way"

Tom: Have you ever been in trouble with the police before? "Yes, for cutting a horse's leg off"

Edd: "No YOU'RE a metaphor!"

Amy: "What's Rap?"

Nav: "If you were a monkey, i'd have you as a pet"

Shorrock: "Yesterday i struck a blow for mankind... i ran over the wife, she's in x-ray now!"

Jax: "Yeah! That's why they call you Stroppy Strawson"

Dave: "Highlight of the night; hitting jade in the mouth with a dildo and sayin Hook!"

Rob: "What's YOUR beef???"

Me: "Oh shut up edd you're not even a rastafarian"

Dave: "bit of whiplash, nothing a good lawsuit won't fix, hello claimsdirect?"

Phil: "im so happy that u filled ur car and i wasnt in it"

DaveAnderson: (to Mrs. Daskeweiz) "I'll Beat You Up"

Edd: "I Smell like field"

Edd: "Hey Nat, My leg's bleeding!"

Dave: "She Lied. Charlie Lied. Bastard Lesbian."

Dave: "First Name: Mister. Second Name: Period. Last Name: T."

Dan: "So hoody, as my gay best friend..."

Tom: "Skating?! ON A TUESDAY!!!???"

Dave: "look hoody, we know you're gay but do you want people thinking you're queer?!"

Nav: "George Bush seems more approachable for sex"

Phil: "It's Frape: Friendly Rape"

Dave'n'Dan: "Wouldn't it be really painful if someone came in your eye?"

Oli: "do i wanna look any more like a chick?
... I would make one HOT ass chick"

Rob: "everytime an excuse for a party jus ask phoebe - like on saint days"

Dave: (singing) "But not if you've got MS"

Me&Emma: (in a posh voice) "CHEERS!!!"

Nav: " :O PARIS HILTON?!...no you didnt *shakes head*"

Bouncer Lady in Lincoln: (to edd) "pink top... you'd better be careful... if we lose you later we'll know you'll be bent over a stool somewhere"

Dave: always where a condom "what do you think i'm doin now???.... ALWAYS!!!"

Jacqueline: "Newcastle the northernmost fucking city? try scotland!"

Nav: "but dude he is soooooooo fit
*sigh*
i would"

Navjeet Panesar: "guess my middle name"

Smiffy: "I had loads of abisynth and was nearly dead but I STILL had the self control to beat off a minger"

Smiffy: "Dude, don't you know they're for dwarves!" Mr Barton: "Tom i hardly think you're one to talk"

Jack: "Oh edd, he can't skate he's too preppy. he's got the whole jumper thing going on... it's not working out for him"

Dan: "i like toast"

Phil: "yeah but you like men"

Phil: "If you're gonna do my mum, do it later when she'll appreciate it"

Sam's Dad: "So sam i'm gonna take you up there"

Nav: "Well at least you weren't suprise ho of the night!"

Nav: "dude i went to the toilet earlier. i couldnt put my wellies on because i cant take them off by myself, so i wore your shoes......i dont think i peed on them.."

Nav: "dude it's cold, have your balls shrunk?"

Dan: "I'm gonna be sick" (runs to toilet, throws up) "HOLLA!" (throws up again)

Edd: "Dude you're the one who's gay" Me: "Yeah but at least I have the balls to admit it"

Dave: "edd you're gonna key his face? is that some kind of code for you people?"

Sam: "Great, i can tick "getting hit" off of my list of things to do"

Edd: "if you were there would you not just go hunting for pussy?" (looks at me) "or cock"

Nav: "here's how we deal with that situation: take edd. make him threaten to beat them up. theyll either get scared or he'll start crying."

Jack: "Did I swore?"

Sam: "Hoody you get two fingers for being gay"

Jack: "I wouldn't want to see you neglected sexually"

Jack: (about edd) "has he bollocks, he's gay as fuck!"

Jack: "You would actually get in there and wank off in her mouth"

Ollie: "Get your tops off you slags!!!"

Jacqueline: "People pay me now you know"

Rob: "That's not fucking on you're balckmailing me!"

Blath: "Why don't you give him my shoe, be like "her foot's in it" "

Phoebe: (holding onto rob's cat) "sit down! just sit down!" (cat sits down) "ooh this cat is horrible!"

Noony: (about rob) "What a facist!"

Rob: "You lied! You lied to me! You deliberately dissobeyed me!"

Rob: "i've got cat's n shit... fuck em, they're probably dead.......... has anyone seen my cats?"

Jaqcueline: "I'm not even that drunk tho! No, because i can walk in a straight line" (spins around)

Blakey: "Come-on! you can't have a party without a black person!"

Rob: "I feel really guilty now; girls, put your tops back on"

Nav: "Hey Edd" Edd: "Hey Stupid"

Dave: "Hoody my brother met your hero yesterday!" Me: "Who's my hero?" Dave: "Julie Andrews"

Nav: "Hoody do i smell?" Me: *sniff* *sniff* ".... Curry?"

Nav: "dude if i was an incontinant lady i would have wet myself"

Nav: "if you have sex, use a condom!"

Hugh: "mr dixon-smith? he does it for me!"

Mr Barton: "Gareth, it's mr barton, we're down wyndom park at the moment, we were just wondering if you'd gone to the english lesson by mistake"

Dave: "SOMEBODY WENT BLIND!!!"

Dan: "Dance Bitches!!!"

Nav: "I'm a player"

Nav: "im sure one of them has a knife or something" Phil: "i do too, dont worry"

Robbie: "We should hang one of them, just to send a message"

Mr Haslam: "You're not black, you live in lincolnshire!"

Chloe Hamblim: "I don't want fucking raspberry coulie"

Martyn: (chav voice) "I'm gonna get you down... oh no! he's got a big mobile!!!"

Phil: "iv dug myelf hole and doesnt look lke im gettin out of it, but you know wat, i had fun diggin it so i dont rele care"

Robbie: "i duno if i want any women drivin, recipe for disaster"

Me: "how do you stop black kids jumping up and down on your bed?" Rob: "shoot them"

Blath: "It's dirty... n i don't like dirt"

Phil: "Ha ha!... oow, it hurts to laugh..."

Edd: "oh that was crap, he didnt even kiss me!"

Ollie: "he was fat, i'm talkin BIG"

Phil: "how warm are your pits!!!"

Dave: "edd's like 'Yeah im goin on the computer later' and i was 'really?' and he was like ' yeah with the family'"

Jon: "Edd, the best solution is if you actually shut up"

Will: "I have the eyes of an owl"

Shorrock: "after one part last year THREE of my group wrote off their cars in one night"

Jacqueline: "He was carved by angels...."

Phil: "No it's not cool! my best friend is fucking men!"

Phil: "Hey Sam, look, wall paper adhesive! To Adhese Wallpaper!"

Phil: "Lots of good things are pink; minge is pink (looks at nav) not yours."

Dan: (Dan in reference to me being gay) "Now you're an outcast; you're sleeping on the floor with a cold bottle of water and a bin bag."

Dan: "I Used to be a dolphin."

Jaqueline: "Fatty walkin down the road!!! she doesn't even have a neck!

Jack: "That's all i need to wank the fuck off"

Amy: "Rosie i love your fanny bone!"

Jack: "John Hall - Famous for fingering lots of things; male, female, mineral, vegetable"

Will: "This isn't jaws, you're not getting everyone"

JackC: "I did have a carnivorous hamster... kept biting me when I tried to feed it. so I stopped feeding it. And it died. Bastard learned his place."

JackC: "oh lyk, i wanna get in ur pantz and play wid ur cok cuz i luv ya"

Edd's Mum: "Edd you havent got the right tool... story of your life"

Nav: "a star from my ceiling has just fallen off
but why?"

Me: "Nav, if your gonna cry i'll poke your face"

Dave: "Awww look, it's hoody's little dog" Me: "Dave, stop reffering to my dog like a paedophile"

Phil: *after driving into a plough* "Bastard Plow!"

JackC: *shruggeth*

Edd: "yeah, a cold shower isn't nearly enough to dampen the fires of arousal caused by my partial nudity" Me: "yeah. i had no choice but to masturbate"

Edd: *in reference to me telling him i was naked* "i had to have a bath to make me feel clean because of that"

Mr Barton: "I was one of the last generation of private fags"

Amy M: "Hoody do us all a favour and get with edd!"

Phil: "I wish i was a cross-dresser... wait no i don't, that was a bad thing to say..."

Joely: "See! THEY'RE drilling holes!"

Edd: "Yeah i'd shag Jonny Depp, even tho i'm straigh as fuck!"

Edd: "I'm a boy!"

Nav: "The first guy to see me naked is gay... great!"

Rach: "its like i had the porn channel on really loud"

Will: "ur the 2nd person i almost ran over today cos they thought i'd stop"

Nav: "im shocked more at this than the gay fingering"

Edd: "i mean i look in the mirror and see god staring back at me" Me: "...then it turned out you were looking at a photo of god"

Phil: "I think hoody's cold!" Me: "I think Phil's cold!" Phil: "I think Phil's freezing!"

Edd: "I Did see a bear though!"

Edd: "Why don't use just... oh right you don't have 3 arms"

Edd: "Bears are more likely to eat a house!"

Edd: "I'm the celeverest therefore i win, bears eat houses! No, wait..."

Edd: "Bears eat honey and salmon and play with pooh sticks"

Edd: "I saw a black kid with downs syndrome; i'd never seen one before"

Nav: "and POW im a rhymstres; thats like seemstress... but a different word"

Becca: "navvy thats disgusting! remember when you made all those christmas cards and they all got disqualified?!"

DanG: "If i invented a word i'd hope it would as good, no, HALF as good, as Golliwog. It just rolls of the tongue Go-lli-wog"

Nav: "right. i was just watching the chuckle brothers, are they actually brothers?"

Nav: "If you put me in the microwave, i'd be a microwavable indian meal"

Nav: "basically theyre derranged kids. like majorly. not like manraj style"

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