Jerzy: "Looking at the specs on that Mac again, I am DROOLING over your coming machine. My god, that thing is going to knock your socks off." HooveR: "For that price, it better shoot out arms and put my socks RIGHT BACK ON!"
S l e e p i n g .
C o m i c B o o k s .
Current favorite: X-Factor or maybe Justice Society Of America. Depends!
The rest of the pull-list: Deadpool, Captain Britain & The MI-13, Mighty Avengers, New Mutants, The Punisher:Frank Castle, All-New Official Handbook of the Marvel Universe A to Z, any Power Pack miniseries, The Brave And The Bold, Green Lantern, Green Lantern Corps, Booster Gold, Secret Six, Power Girl, Flash: Rebirth, and any Verotik comics (published so sporadically these days), and anything Beau Smith writes.
Past favorites: So many... here are the biggies... Avengers (before Bendis... I hate that guy's writing with a passion), X-Factor (Peter David 1991 incarnation), New Mutants (pre-Liefeld; love the Bret Blevins period especially), Power Pack (in the hands of the original creators!), the Thunderbolts (under Busiek and Nicieza, NOT Ellis), Young Avengers (come back!!), the fun years of Justice League America/ Europe/ International (the Giffen/DeMatteis era), Guy Gardner: Warrior (the greatest comic character ever), Green Arrow (the run that just ended summer of '07), Static, Grendel, Preacher, Sandman, V For Vendetta, Watchmen, Tongue Lash, Black Hole, Planetary, Dawn, Poison Elves(REST IN PEACE, DREW HAYES), The Tick, Masters Of The Universe, Transformers: The War Within, Transformers: Beast Wars... and much, much more! I also buy any appearance of the following characters: Guy Gardner, Deadpool, Madrox The Multiple Man, Magik, & H.E.R.B.I.E. the Robot (Would like to do this with Quicksilver and Captain Britain as well, but they have so many...). I've collected comics since roughly age six, so they've always been a big part of my life, and always will be.
Random Comic Opinions:ONE MORE DAY is the worst idea ever publshed in comic books (Yes, even worse than the Clone Saga. COUNTDOWN TO FINAL CRISIS should have been titled COUNTDOWN TO DC FANS WANTING THEIR $150 BUCKS BACK. SECRET INVASION was just a pointless joke. FINAL CRISIS was boring and nearly unreadable. And Bucky DEFINITELY should have stayed dead.
I'm into videogames, especially retro side-scrolling stuff where there's not 17 different buttons to think about, and when the answer always lies in running to the right. That said, I also love the Resident Evil series (not so much 4 though), Darkstalkers (Morrigan being my character of choice), and anything Metroid (ZERO MISSION and FUSION being my faves... although I beat SUPER METROID last summer and found it to be just as amazing as it was over ten years ago)!
I have 13 different home videogame systems (so far) all hooked up to one tv. And they are:
Nintendo Entertainment System
Super Nintendo
Nintendo 64
Gamecube (w/ Game Boy Player adapter)
Playstation 2
Turbographx-16 (w/ CD adapter)
Panasonic 3DO
Atari Jaguar
Sega Master System
Sega Genesis
Sega Saturn
Sega Dreamcast
And a Mattel Hyper Scan. I'm not even kidding here. Yeah, don't get one of these. Please note it was my 13th videogame system, and that's no coincidence.
All are ready to go at any moment (well, the Hyper Scan is "ready to go" into a dumpster... nah, it has its merits...). I also have a Gameboy Color and a Sega GameGear just because. I know I don't have an X-Box, X-Box 360, PS3, or Wii. X-Boxes I may never get because I hate Microsoft. I will get at least a Wii eventually. Video games and their hardware only get cheaper in time, and I never see a good reason to pay a lot of money for something I can get much cheaper later... besides, I have a lot more fun with NES and SNES titles than the new stuff... here's a videogame horror story for you, last summer I got to 8-4 in Super Mario Bros: The Lost Levels only to have the battery in the gamepak die and all my save files go bye bye. It was a sad day.
T o y C o l l e c t i n g .
I collect many toys and action figures... G.I.Joe (3 3/4"), Transformers, Visionaries, Masters Of The Universe (2002 relaunch & subsequent 6" statues), some Marvel Legends, and other stuff. Mainly I just pick and choose what I like from each line rather than "collect 'em all"! Keeps me from going insane.
C o m e d y .
George Carlin 1936-2008 Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005
There's a handful of comedians I think are really great. The late George Carlin and the late Mitch Hedberg will never be superceeded, but I'm also very into the following...
Poe, Pyogenesis, Danzig, Samhain, Misfits, Graves, Gotham Road, Michale Graves, Type O Negative, KMFDM, MDFMK, Lucia, Drill, Pig, Nine Inch Nails, Pantera, Superjoint Ritual, Down, Damageplan, Hellyeah, Faith No More, Mr. Bungle, Tomahawk, Fantomas, Peeping Tom, anything Mike Patton does, Dead Milkmen, Butterfly Joe, Circle Jerks, Minor Threat, Fatal Flying Guilloteens, Babes In Toyland, Nirvana, Alice In Chains, Too Much Joy, Liquido, Duran Duran, Arcadia, John Taylor, Guns N Roses, Anthrax, S.O.D., Kiss, They Might Be Giants, the Smiths, Morrissey, Voltaire, the Spice Girls, Victoria Beckham, t.A.T.u., Mandy Moore, Skye Sweetnam, the B-52's, 61 Cygni, the Killaz, NWA, Eazy-E, Ice Cube, MC Ren, Above The Law, Big Hutch, Geto Boys, Digital Underground, Shock G, Public Enemy, Fine Arts Militia, Outkast, Murs, Eminem, the Streets... and this really underground band you've probably never heard of called The Beatles. Also find myself getting more and more into Neil Diamond. How about that??
Mostly I watch movies on DVD. I go to the movie theatre usually like 2-3 times a year, unless I fall totally in love with something, in which case I see it more times than any human should. These are my absolute favorites: V FOR VENDETTA, Frank Miller's SIN CITY, Casablanca, the Lord of the Rings Trilogy, Star Wars Trilogies, Shaft, Shaft's Big Score!, Shaft In Africa, Clerks, Mallrats, Chasing Amy, Dogma, Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back, Clerks 2, Career Opportunities, Waking The Dead, Requiem For A Dream, Fight Club, Being John Malkovich, Pulp Fiction, Dawn of the Dead (1978 version), Return of the Living Dead 3, Silent Hill, Threesome, High Fidelity, Ghost World, The Pursuit Of Happiness (not the Will Smith movie!), The Doom Generation, Rent, Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, The Stoned Age, Heathers, Teenage Bonnie and Klepto Klyde (still not on DVD!), My Life With Morrissey, D.C. Cab, Clue, Ferris Bueller's Day Off, The Breakfast Club, UHF, the Back To The Future Trilogy, Harlem Nights, Shaolin Soccer, Kung-Fu Hustle, Ringu, the Ring (only the first one), It's A Wonderful Life, Office Space, the 40 Year-Old Virgin, Into The Wild, G.I.Joe the Movie, the first 20 minutes of Transformers the Movie, and last but the antithesis of least, Arcadia of My Youth.
Television
The More Current Stuff: Transformers Animated, Curb Your Enthusiasm, 30 Rock, Sealab 2021, Aqua Teen Hunger Force, Family Guy, South Park, Saturday Night Live, I Pity The Fool, Gene Simmons Family Jewels, & first and foremost Lost. I almost exclusively watch tv on DVD though. I can't be bothered to be in front of the tv at a certain time! That's so 1990s! :p I WILL do it for LOST though.
...I also love Esurance commercials. Man, that should be its own series.
Old Favorites: G.I.Joe, Transformers, Visionaries, Jem, He-Man & The Masters of the Universe (both 1983 and 2002), Robotech, Fantastic Four (1978 series with Herbie!), Beast Wars Transformers, Transformers: Robots In Disguise (2001), Dragnet ('66-'70 Jack Webb/Harry Morgan version), Three's Company (I own the entire series on DVD now... feel free to question my sanity), Dr. Katz: Professional Therapist (my desert island tv show...if there was a such concept as a tv show you could take with you to a desert island), Home Movies, Star Trek: Enterprise, and WWE when it still had cool people and fun plots (1997-2002ish). Yeah, my list is mostly animated series. That's how I roll.
Books
Favorites: House of Leaves (Mark Danielewski), Fahrenheit 451 (Ray Bradbury), 1984 (George Orwell), Catcher In The Rye (J.D. Salinger), I Am Legend (Richard Matheson), F--k Yes!: The Guide To The Happy Acceptance Of Everything (F. Wing Fing)...this is the greatest book that no one knows about!, The Bad Place (Dean Koontz), Into The Wild (Jon Krakauer), The Time Traveler's Wife (Audrey Niffenegger), and many more. I buy way more books than I have spare time for. But hey, I'm proud of my book obsession. I also love reading about ghosts or the possibility of survival after "death". Interesting stuff. I turned my walk-in closet into a library, essentially. I had so many books, they had to go somewhere, so I put in shelves up to the (ten-foot) ceiling!
I also read a ton of comic books and graphic novel collections of the afforementioned comics. I wish there were more time in the day I could devote to reading. I own probably about 20 times as many books as I've actually read... I need the power to stop time around me so that I can read more... ah, the lament of the booklover. I am way behind on reading books...
Here's what people (including myself) say about me:
"The fires of Hell burn a little brighter because you exist." --Nick Mehalick to me.
"He is SUCH a rock star." --Cristina Minter, after seeing me come into the store, wearing my jean jacket and sunglasses, casually acknowledging her appearance with a slight wave.
"If Cobra Commander was real, you'd get some kind of Good Conduct Award." --Jerzy Drozd, talking about my extravagant spending on Cobra action figures.
"If I wanted women who fought back, I wouldn't pursue paraplegics." --HooveR
"No offense, but I swear you ramble worse than a 14 year-old girbul in that there blargh of yours, Jerry." --Joe Simone, to me, about the Blahg.
"You're a very sweet guy, Hoov. Don't worry, I won't tell a soul." --Jerzy Drozd
"i was once afraid of hoover, but now i'm in love with him." --old Friendster testimonial for HooveR by Shawn Guilloteen.
"I think it's that you're insanely pure of heart and content. People seem to have trouble being those two things." --Helen Lin, on HooveR's best quality.
"I can't help but wish (sometimes) that someone gave a flying fig what my perspective is (aside from YOU; you only listen so you can make fun of me later, you worm). --Jerzy Drozd, to me.
"HooveR spends his money on THIS?!?" --Jason Penrod, upon being told that it was HooveR's t.A.T.u. CD playing in the store after hours.
"Why must you always fight for the title of "Biggest ASS I know!"?!?" --Joe Simone, to me.
"I would be an amazing webdesigner, if the year were still 1997." --HooveR, marveling at how he still actually writes webpages in HTML in the year 2005.
"Your car just SMELLS like Icee."--Jason Penrod, after getting into the HooveRmobile for something like the 10th or 12th time.
"I don't even follow through with not following through." --HooveR, on himself.
"I saw something so disturbing tonight and it made me think of you. " --Joe Simone, to me.
"Some people wait all their life for Miss Right to come around... I'm just waiting for Cobra Commander." -- HooveR, explaining how worship-minded he would become if and when he's faced with someone in a Cobra Commander costume.
"You carry everything out with such great detail, it's frightening in an almost endearing sort of way." --Sara Douin, unsure whether I'm amazing or just completely stupid.
"Good God, I'm *&^%ing lame." --HooveR, about himself after he got the idea to photoshop "cat glasses" onto hot comic girls to make them even hotter.
"Godd@mn dude, there's something wrong with you." --Nick Mehalick, to me.
LOOK! PHOTOS OF ME! AVERT YOUR EYES!!:
HEY PEOPLES: As a general rule, if I don't know you in "real life", and you want to send me a friend-request, I expect you to actually, oh, I don't know, *WANT* to be friends, and actually *COMMUNICATE* with me on a fairly regular basis. So send me a detailed essay accompanying your friend request explaining why we should be friends. :p I'm up for making new online buddies, but I'm not into just adding people for adding's sake. When I get friend req's with no explanation, I almost never approve 'em. Just introduce yourself, people. Ain't hard.
Who I'd like to meet:
I'm lucky enough to have met a lot of my favorite celebrities, but there's a few key ones I still hope to meet in person: Mr. T, Mike Patton, Peter Steele, Sergeant Slaughter, H. Jon Benjamin, Jonathan Katz, Frank Welker, and John Stephenson. Not really in that order. And preferably not all at once. Yeah.
Here's something to do, kids:
Hey, I said it was SOMETHING TO DO, not something FUN to do. No, I didn't make it...
1. Tease kids who have to go to school during their religious holidays. 2. Don gay apparel. 3. Try telling a cop, “actually, the pipe is for my snowman.” 4. Ponder eggnog. (they should call it “flegmnogg”) 5. Punch anyone who says, “Like a Lightbulb!” while singing Rudolph The Red Nosed Reindeer. 6. Play dreidel drinking games. 7.Run around and play TRON on a street with lots of X-mas lights. 8.Say, “Mmm, mmm, fruitcake!” whenever you pass gas. 9. Walk around the house wearing nothing but tinsel. 10. Adopt all the sick dogs from the Humane Society and give them as gifts. 11. Sculpt Nativity Scenes out of lunchmeats. 12. Make a gingerbreak crackhouse. 13. Think up holiday-themed names for your genitalia like: Yule Log, Santa’s Little Helper, Pubic Wreath, or stocking stuffer.
Um. actually Hanna Montana was on the tv for some reason and I just noticed that Hanna's bff looked like Ashley. Then I went hunting for pictures. It was great! I put it on her Facebook page, but she hasn't said anything.
George Carlin 1936-2008
Mitch Hedberg 1968-2005
