merry reindeer day The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat Had a mate named Kate with a baseball bat She took it into Wickes to buy some six inch nails They were 50p off in the Christmas sales 'Cos her mace had run out her left leg it had the gout You can't whisper then shout that that teapot's short and stout And the mate named Kate thought if all else fails I can use my rip edge bat on pursuant males The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat Had a friend who'd lend him a tub of ginger snaps The friend (again t'was Kate) Became most most irate On receiving a tub of ginger snap crumbs back The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat Used fancy long words like proleteriat Coatlxoxouhiqui was another and sacremental too But supercalifragerlistic(expialidocious) made him want to spew 'Cos the zebra who'd moved in next door last May Played Mary Poppins three times or four a day TV at full blast It just couldn't last He paid Kate a pack of ginger biscuits for a murder pact Now the zebra's just a rug in the horse's front room No remorse like I say its completely true The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat Had a mate named Jack a necrophiliac He went out with his spade when he wanted to get laid Undertakers thanked him for the extra trade But they hated his guts 'cos he was a sick sick fuck So they hatched a plan to end his luck Vicar lobbed the hand grenade a perfect aim Now Jack he sings soprano and he's severely maimed The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat For some strange reason kept an acid vat I don't mean to alarm ya 'Cos he was no Jeffrey Dahmer Just liked to knock back the lysergical karma The horse without remorse in the downstairs flat Had a mate upstairs whose name was Strat Who died a most suspicious death In his stomach was a kilo of crystal meth They knew it was foul play but no one liked to say Just another corpse another skybound teatray Young Strat it seems had dug his own hole Dealing with the Revered Emancipator of Flesh into Soul ....