i can feel you healing and i hate it,
(like a harpist without hands, you only bang the strings you used to love to touch so much)
to hear the dissonance drain violently into the air and then dissolve
like all the songs i sang but never once could make you smile.
my god, i would kill to make you smile.
and reach out to my hands, soft and frail,
to make good on the love that you swear still exists and still thrives.
though we've buried our bodies in blood
(and old lies,
like, 'i'm fine' and 'you look so much better than him')
but don't trust the surgeon with your heart;
she's drunk and sips from poison cups,
and don't you trust the scientist;
he says "life is like a wineglass" as he spills his drink
like secrets all across your dress and says
"my dear, i must confess, i never thought you ever knew what love was like for real.
i've been sitting at home. i went to school yesterday, but i left early. mr. long gave me shit for it, and it pissed me off. but i've been sleeping late, and i feel good. i also realized how much i dislike school. i want ssoo bad to just graduate early like online or something. i'm so tired of it already. i also hung out with josh yeasterday in my living room. we had a play fight and it was pretty fun. bitch kicked my ass with a dr. pepper bottle. :l
the sweet things i write to sierra on myspace Current mood: loved
1.) fuck. dude, it was. i... i never meant to make you feel like it wasn't. you know how i usually mess shit up, and hurt the people i love. that's me and you right now. and FUCK. i can't stand hurting you anymore. and as you leave me in this computer room by myself, i have decided to reflect back on us, and i realized how much you mean to me and i should always encourage your hobbies. so, shit. if you love drawing ponies shitting, then i'm going to love them, too.
2.) MOTHER FUCKER!!!
why the fuck do you make me love you so much? i just don't understand how it's possible. i spend every waking minute thinking of you, and the times i'm no where near you i feel completely incomplete. i wish i could spend entire days just looking into your eyes.
fuck.
you make me a hopeless romantic. curse you for tainting my hatred towards life.
3.) FUCKING ERIC LAMBERT?!
that shits real deep right there. and when i saw that picture you drew for me, i almost cried. like a 2 year old child. like balled.
i wish you could get inside my head and see all the space you take up. every thought would be your beautiful face. watching you laugh. the way you hold me
oh my god my phone is fucking demon im honestly tearing up omgomgomgomg look okay i had one voice record on there from chicago and it was of the radio playing bang your head when i was in the car with mrs ryna and i just listened to it and its a fucking demon laugh ohmyfuckinggod
loved