AN EROTIC APPRECIATION OF CRACKTOWN'S CLASSIC LINE-UP:
For too long now, far too little attention has been paid to the considerable physical charms ot the band that almost nobody refers to as "The Town"; let us bring an end to this unpardonable silence right now.
Consider the lissome form of THE SILVER FOX (harp/hoarse screams) as he whirls and struts the stage like the sexual predator he is. While the finer details of his spare physique are rendered a tantalising mystery by his penchant for long, voluminous coats, his unfettered movements and his labial limberness are, without doubt, a carnival of carnality - step right up, indeed.
Furthermore, cast your greedy, lust-crazed eyes immediately to his right: does not the stern, commanding frame of KING RAT (guitar/vocals) compel the heart and groin to do backflips? Very much so, we're sure you'll agree. While he favours an almost monolithic stillness onstage, the discerning connoisseur of concupiscence will realise that this conceals a dormant volcano of sexual athleticism. Similarly, the sharper-eyed observer will note his long nimble fingers as they dance a mesmerising and frenetic fandango 'cross the frets, hinting at all manner of possibilities. He takes (and fills) a size 12 shoe, too: need one say more?
Influences
Ah, yes: what band could ever tire of being asked this question? Whether phrased by an inept regional radio presenter or a dog-shit quality local fanzine, it never fails to confer upon the interrogator an air of depth; of a rare insight into the creative process; a heartfelt desire to probe "the facts behind the facts"... For the record then, here goes:
Bob Dylan, The Dead Kennedys, Robert Tressel's "The Ragged-Trousered Philanthropists", Dr Feelgood, Muddy Waters, Simon and Garfunkel, Johnny Cash, Bernard Cornwell's Richard Sharpe novels (in only a slightly gay way, incidentally), Tom Waits, the cinematic canon of Mr Chevy Chase, secular humanism, Kinky Friedman and the Texas Jewboys, The Beatles, Bruce Campbell, "Moby Dick", the needless deaths of millions on wars throughout history, teenage flirtaitions with Marxism, teenage flirtations with teenagers, incessant school bullying (for which we're both profoundly sorry), Billy Bragg, Wilfred Owen, does anybody actually ever read past the first few lines of this stuff, I wonder? Let's find out: everyone who uses (or has ever used) MySpace is a thorough-going and unmitigated CUNT (ourselves included) - and on that subject, here's another thing that really enrages all right-thinking cats and kittens, we'd like to think: the use of the word "MySpace" as a verb, as in - "What about that gig we're supposed to be doing at the Brixton Windmill, Foxy?" "I've MySpaced them twice but I haven't heard back yet." or "I've been MySpaceing all afternoon" - it just sounds retarded, and yet we all do it; it's a sickness, is what it is...right, back to the influences: Bob Mills, Vincent Price, Eminem, Charlie Musselwhite, Lee Marvin, a grim determination to wreak revenge on the multitudes who have fucked us both over, The Lord of the Rings, The Lord of the Flies, the more rugged and manly form of rugby (League or Union; I forget which, and as The Rat isn't here to remind me, I can't be more specific), booze, huge fried breakfasts, eating disorders, The Grateful Dead, Crowded House, Star Trek, mildly bi-polar conditions, the continuing humillitating ordeal that is the life of Steve MacDonald on "Coronation Street", Viz magazine (when it was good), Flanders and Swann, Lou Reed, that nasal bloke who sings at the end of the "Sharpe" TV show, Michelle Shocked, Bryan Ferry, The Hagakura (sp?), Tom Sizemore in "Bringing Out The Dead", The Stray Cats, Lindesfarne, the unspoilt grandeur of the British countryside, the decidedly spoilt grandeur of cities around the world, the English bloke disguised as a gendarme in "'Allo, 'Allo", Philip Jeays, Sweet Lady Stickpin, Orson Welles, Stephen Macht and his bewildering accent, The Ramones, globalisation, and finally, you - yes, YOU. If you're the sort of person who would persevere through this screed in the hope of either greater understanding of CrackTown's "pro-fun, anti-cunt" agenda, or of a half-decent joke, then you're exactly the sort of cat or kitten we're after. Thanks.
Sounds Like
Derek and Clive beatin' Simon and Garfunkel with the bones of Robert Johnson.
CrackTown are an acoustic powerhouse - if two blokes can ever truly constitute a powerhouse that is... Maybe we're a powermaisonette? It's hard to be sure; one would need to be a qualified architect with a solid grounding in electrical theory (or vice versa) to know, I'd imagine. Regardless of such considerations, His Rodent Highness, The King Rat and the Silver Fox endeavour to shine the harsh spotlight of hillbilly half-truths upon the dark abyss of the contemporary scene through a mixture of song, rabid demagoguery, and mime (though the latter is on it's way out, as nobody ever gets it). In actual fact, they're not too bad at doing what they do, and have won many friends, admirers, and easily-led adherents through their loud and steadfast dedication to a clearly-defined "Pro-fun, anti-cunt" agenda. Their patented brand of "liberalbilly schtick" may not be for everyone - some cats and kittens are a little too slow and unimaginitive to truly dig "The Town's" scene, and they're more to be pitied than blamed - but for many, their live sets have become the cornerstone of a nourishing and character building spiritual diet. They rock, is, in short, the gist...
CrackTown's (strictly non-sexual) History
When you see or book CrackTown, you are, in effect, seeing or booking everybody they've ever been with; a chilling thought, n'est-ce-est-pas? Amongst those who have cavorted through fields of lust, dreams, and despair with CrackTown are:
Dufus, Kimya Dawson, Thomas Truax, Pete Molinari, Wreckless Eric, Jimbob (out of Carter USM), Wooden Ghost, Attilla The Stockbroker, MJ Hibbert, The Lurkers, Curtis Eller, Major Matt Mason USA, Ed Tudor-Pole, Blyth Power, Philip Jeays, The Plimptons, POG, Paul Simmons, Chris TT, Misty's Big Adventure, Rick Witter (sort of - we did a festival he was at, albeit on a different stage), Jeffrey Lewis.
If you're putting on any of the above - or anyone remotely like them - and you need a little something extra to pad the evening out, OR, if you're putting on people who aren't quite as good as the above and you need someone to distract the audience from the God-awful suckfest they're attending, then CrackTown are the cats for you.
Everybody Loves CrackTown?
Well, not everybody, obviously; there are bound to be those churls that - through mental aberrations for which they are not to be blamed - are not entirely enraptured by our magnificence. Many are, though, and while we'd love to regale you with any number of fulsome and grovelling reviews, we appreciate that trudging through acres of provincial music journalism may well induce something like an embolism in the right-minded reader. Consequently, we've chosen a rather minimalist approach.
“CrackTown are as crazy as they are clever; somewhere between insanity and brilliance, you’ll find them and their clever set of songs.” – www.thisisull.com
“A two-headed mythological Anti-Folk blues beast…CrackTown are the new musical sheriffs in town and they have the badges to prove it.” – The Luminaire
“..as musicians and songwriters they are both superlatively proficient … yes, they do provide quality laughs, but to pigeonhole them as a comedy act would be to do them a grave disservice.” – Sandman Magazine
“Their very own brand of political, harmonica-driven blues, bristling with sharp lyrics and cutting wit.” - Tenfoot City Magazine
“It’s no wonder that the talented support act were somewhat overshadowed; CrackTown epitomise impact.” – www.thisisull.com
"They should never have invaded Stalingrad." - General Patton
In addition to our duties as tireless (and handsome) chroniclers of the Decline Of Everything, CrackTown find the time to have many thrilling and perilous adventures: to learn more, go to YouTube (there's no room here) and find us battling street-gangs in "Acoustic Warriors", or chancing our collective arm in the Fourth Dimension in "Idiots In Time".
"Alien Invasion" the 12bar London April 2007
"Nazi Girl" Derbyshire Ashes August 2008
Christmas is coming soon. Are you looking for a Christmas present and would like to help handicapped children? Than please request the list of donations in kind from HelpCharity, www.MySpace.com/HelpCharity , by sending me an e-mail at Ch.Lamitschka@t-online.de . Many donations in kind are autographed.
If you don't have the chance to request the list of donations in kind, please add HelpCharity to your Top Friends!
Thanks for helping me to support handicapped children!
Christian
Founder of HelpCharity Editor & Journalist for Country Music Christian Lamitschka An der Pfingstweide 28 61118 Bad Vilbel Germany Phone: ++49 (0) 6101 544613 Mobil: ++49 (0) 171 6903352 E-Mail: Ch.Lamitschka@t-online.de Internet: www.MySpace.com/HelpCharity Internet: www.MySpace.com/ChristianLamitschka
LAST EVENT WE’RE PUTTING ON FOR A FEW MONTHS…Features…BELLVILLE- Luscious Lilting Gypsy Jazz!! JAMES BROWNE- Boogie Piano Riot!!! And the return of COMPETITION TIME and a whole heap of nonsense!!!! PACKHORSE FRIDAY 27th NOV.Woodhouse Lane opp. Library Pub
PLUS SAT 6th NOV. we’re in WETHERBY, At the St JAMES CHURCH CRYPT With TOM ATTAH, RUBY CORSET, and more…
Greetings Sinners,As part of their on-going quest to rid the world of ennui and other French philosophical maladies, THE DEVIL’S JUKEBOX are rolling out the ragtime red carpet and humping it ‘till the weave gets pilled, THISFRIDAY 23rd OCTOBER, at THE PACKHORSE supported by English Music Hall Maestros BISCUIT HEAD and the BISCUIT BADGERS-expect ukulele, tuba and a sense of the absurd akin to Vivian Stanshall’s Bonzo Dog Band, featuring Dino Casino, not to be missed.PLUS the frankly quite splendidTOM ATTAH- expect stompin’, raw delta sounds from the kick-ass king of Shipley!
Also, for those who are interested, ‘Righteous!’ is back, end of November, DR B.
GET THIS WEEKS SPECIAL ONLY ,3 BEATS FOR A $100 OR $50 A BEAT .. PAYPAL IS AVAILABLE (LMONEY24@GMAIL.COM) 314-771-0346 (OFFICE) 9 A.M. - 5 P.M. CST EXCLUSIVE CUSTOM PRODUCTION IS AVAILABLE STARTING OFF @ $400 . twitter.com/falatherel1 soundclick.com/falabeats facebook.com/falabeats
A lump of metal which smashed through the roof of a house is believed to have come from space, the RAF has said.
The 4lb object was investigated by the RAF Flight Safety Branch after it landed in the loft of a member of reprehensible songwriting duo 'Cracktown' in Hull, in July this year.
The branch has now identified it as space debris and said this was the only incident of its kind investigated by the RAF in the last five years. The metal was reported to the RAF as it was initially thought it may have fallen off an aircraft.
But the investigation found the debris had not come from a plane and was more likely to have fallen to earth from space - although it is unknown what the metal was from.
An RAF spokeswoman said: "In the last five years the RAF has become involved in only one incident involvi
Today I would like to let you know about two print magazines in Germany I'm writing for.
"Living Line Dance", reporting about line dance and country music, and "Folk Magazine", reporting about folk and country music. The magazines are high respected in Europe. They offer you a good chance to publicize yourself in Europe and Germany.
For more information, please contact me at MySpace or send email to Ch.Lamitschka@t-online.de with the headline "Advertise at Living Line Dance and Folk Magazine".
Why thankyou kind sir's! really enjoyed your set too! tell us when you're received your gold shower from abi titmuss haha Good times for all! hope to gig with you again sometime in the near future show the indie kids athing or two!
15th Oct 2009 7:30 PM at Fuel Bar - AMERICANA SPECIAL with ASH MOUNTAIN Wilmslow Road, Withington, Manchester, M20 Adm: free
Acoustic showcase hosted by Picnic Area. Our headliners are Manchester’s alt country stars Ash Mountain, described by Manchester Music as "bloody awesome, stunning you into hallowed silence with that deep and dark, sultry soul voice. Astonishingly good.” Cracktown bring anti-folk with maximum attitude to the good people of Fuel. Simon Parkin, Picnic Area’s percussionist, will be playing at least 2 sets tonight, as we welcome another of his bands, Delta Boy, to our venue.
Aloha Sinners, FRIDAY 23rd Oct. the PACKHORSE, LEEDS, Woodhouse Lane
THE DEVIL’S JUKEBOX- Raucous Ragtime! BISCUIT HEAD and the Biscuit Badgers- Bonzo-esque English Music-Hall with Ukulele and Tuba!! TOM ATTAH-The Authentic King of the Sheffield Delta Stomp!!!
Online Now!
Also, for those who are interested, ‘Righteous!’ is back, end of November, DR B.
