You are listening to a sample from the 'a philosophy of freedom' project. recording and mixing finished July 2009.
If you are involved in music publishing, distribution or performance internationally and would like to work together, please contact me. My homes are currently in London and in Tel Aviv-Jaffa.
The songs tell different stories and display different characters as based on my own palette of emotions and experience. All the characters are somehow stuck - some in solitary contemplation, some in an unending conflict with the reality around them, some in suffocating dependencies; but all are somehow struggling with their own selves. They are striving to understand what freedom is, and to attain it.
As I began engaging in sexual relationships in recent years, I became intrigued by what they exposed in my own being - if I cared to look. Things that, in the transition from childhood to adulthood lost relevance in my mind, suddenly appeared with a new guise and a new agenda - running away from them was no longer an option. Fears that I carried - of rejection, of aloneness, of sameness, of loss, and most importantly, of all kinds of shackles, did not so much disappear as snuggle into dark crevices in my mind, affecting the truth of my words and actions without me even realising.
In my travels I discovered that "coming out" was not something only those whose sexualities defy convention or rule did. It was something that anyone who had put distance between their body, mind and soul had to do - often as triggered by early experiences of loss and rejection. I was not born with my shame, I learnt it - whether from a disapproving parent or a picture in a magazine. In this, we each build their own closet (whatever size or shape it may take in our lives). I came to see that when I stayed inside my closet I was not only excluded from the world - I was also protected from it. Until I decide I do not need to be.
How can I be free when I am wearing a constant mask? I realised that the relationships I had with other people reflected perfectly the relationship I have with my own body and mind - fear, shame and constraint in one turned into violence, manipulation and conflict in the others. The yearning for what is natural: a comfortable, undivided and loving space in both body and mind; the habits of years that still need to be un-learnt. This exorcism, this journey of inner-reconciliation is still a challenge and a thrill, and I am looking forward to sharing more of it.
