I Like Mustard

www.myspace.com/ilikemustard

Elle and Paulina. Elle and Paulina.

  • Matt Bearden

  • Male
  • AUSTIN, TEXAS, US

2079897||11110|http://b4.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/00447/43/36/447736334_m.jpg

Interests

  • General

    Finding New Street Art, One Upping All of Your Interests (you fucking loser!), Pretending I Have a Doctor's Appointment and then Pissing Away the Afternoon, iPod + Public Transpo = Dollar Entertainment, Writing Fake 'Big Ups' Letters to Bill O'Reilly, Watching Bill Read My Fake Letter On-Air, Trying to Not Get Smoke in Your Eyes, Feeling Superior, Eating All This Fucking Candy, and Counting All My Money
  • Music

    Too busy counting money and eating candy to listen to music.
  • Movies

    Nope. Still just candy. And money.
  • Television

    Anything that makes me feel better about myself. So, mostly, "Intervention".
  • Books

    Diary of an Underacheiver, Donald Bartheleme short stories, Get Your War On
  • Heroes

    Joey Bagadonuts.

Blurbs

About me:


I'll be at SxSW this year. Come say hello.



Punchline Stagedive. (Please note Old-Man Belly-Skin.)

Holy shit, I am so smart! Seriously! Thank you Google. I try to deliver when it comes to finger-humping. Rumple makes me gag. I have trouble expressing feelings. Luby's mac and cheese is awesome; I am it's bitch. I secretly love JT's Rock Your Body, but would never admit it. I am rational to a fault. I turn people on to new foods. I laugh at inappropriate moments. You know that 'whatever' you totally want? Well, I already have one. It pay$ to be rich.

From The Onion
Proving that one can be both self-loathing and cocky without creating some sort of personality paradox, Matt Bearden is one of those comedians whose best jokes are at the expense of himself—although he’s also so quick with a snarky aside that most of the audience is laughing before they realize they’ve just been insulted. Bearden thankfully eschews bits and shtick, preferring semiautobiographical stories delivered in a gripping, breathless patter and full of tossed-off, dry witticisms that lesser comics would build whole sets around. The fact that he never dumbs it down has made him a favorite among those who worship the smart, sarcastic humor of comics like Patton Oswalt and Paul F. Tompkins. --Dec, 2008 ..



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Who I'd like to meet:

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