The Elyse Huntoon
Stand-Up / Improv / Sketch Comedy
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"I may not go down in history, but I'll go down on your sister."
Female
24 years old
Chicago, ILLINOIS
United States
Last Login:
1/28/2008
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Mood:
happy
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View My:
Pics
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http://www.myspace.com/ineedahelmet |
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The Elyse Huntoon's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | This bio was written by Alex Guiva, using nothing but information I have disclosed on MySpace:
Elyse is a frequent stand-up performer at Backdoor Comedy, Green Elephant Room, and Hyena's. Her comic legacy is greatly influenced by malted hops and bong resin--so far nobody has ever witnessed her sober. Elyse is very proud of all her boyfriends whom she turned gay and all of her girlfriends whom she didn't. Her lifelong dream is to meet smart squirrels who can play chess, solve quadratic equations, and recite Robert Frost's poetry. | | Influences | Malted hops and bong resin. | | Members | Me. | | TV Shows | I didn't see me on Last Comic San Antonio either. Where was I?
Oh, the cutting room floor, yes. | | Albums | Click here to visit 12 Drink Minimum imrpov troupe's page! We're fuckin' funny too. |
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The Elyse Huntoon's Interests
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| General | Stand-up, imrov, sketch, society, geniuses, and idiots.
| | Music | Gomez, G. Love, The Flaming Lips, Incubus, Tool, Goldfinger, Ween, The Beatles, Soul Coughing, A Pefect Circle, System of a Down, NOFX, Simon and Garfunkel, anything the Muppets did, Fatboy Slim, Tommy James and the Shondells, Billy Joel, Fatty Poindexter [support your local music scene], 311, The Sex Pistols, 36 Crazy Fists, Keller Williams, Cream, Rise Against, Stevie Wonder, Phish, Bran Van 3000, Less Than Jake, Nirvana, Save Ferris, The Strokes, Jem, Stone Sour, Bon Jovi, The Aquabats, Janis Jopling, Godsmack, The Beastie Boys, Angry Alanis Morisette, Nirvana, Drowning Pool, etc... | | Movies | A Beautiful Behind,
Womb Raider,
Schindler's Fist,
Shaving Ryan's Privates,
Glad he ate her,
Driving Into Miss Daisy,
Riding Miss Daisy,
Batman in Robin,
Blowjob Impossible,
Dyke Hard,
Star Whores,
Sorest Rump,
Edward Penishands Gangbangs of New York,
On Golden Blonde,
How Stella Got Her Tube Packed,
In Diana Jones and the Temple of Poon,
Saturday Night Beaver,
Sick Degrees of Penetration,
Legally Boned,
Throbin Hood (Prince of Beaves),
When Harry Ate Sally,
Romancing The Bone,
Lord Of The G-Strings,
White Men Can't Hump,
Ocean's 11 inches American Booty,
Pulp Friction,
Swollow Hal,
Spankenstein,
Breast Side Story,
Blown in 60 Seconds,
Buffy The Vampire Layer,
Buttman and Throbbin',
Rambone,
Sperms of Enderarment,
School of Cock,
Free My Willy,
and Sperminator | | Television | Family Guy
South Park
The Simpsons
Aqua Teen
Perfect Hair Forever
It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia
| | Books | The Babysitter's Club series and Sweet Valley High. | | Heroes | Bradley from Long Beach California, and to all the good people who had the courage to follow a personal dream...
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The Elyse Huntoon's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Networking | | Hometown: | Waste-field, Massachusetts | | Body type: | 5' 6" | | Ethnicity: | White / Caucasian | | Religion: | Catholic | | Zodiac Sign: | Capricorn | | Children: | Undecided | | Education: | Some college | | Occupation: | Comedian |
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The Elyse Huntoon's Latest Blog Entry
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The Unfunny Story of How I Killed My Phone
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My first Chicago house party, drunken cab ride, yak, and half-nakie-ness. [PICTURES!]
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Let me be quite frank, 'cause I'm that crazy nigga Luda..
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Drunk Thoughts
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California-n-Vegas
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The Elyse Huntoon's Blurbs |
About me:
Please, oh, please excuse my videos! They are really, really, really old. A lot has changed since then...
About me?
I hate people who don't use their blinkers. The pee noise makes me giggle. As a matter of fact, most bodily functions make me laugh. I hate heels. I like scrawny guys. I like cartoons. I'd like a scrawny guy to watch cartoons with... someday... when I'm older. I hate the ice cream truck playing Christmas songs in July. I like pizza. I think Chicago is the greatest place in the US. And sometimes when we touch, the honesty's too much. Yes, Geico commercials get me hot. I'm a huge fan of live music, and MySpacing drunk. And making nouns into verbs, And making up words altogether for that matter. As far as drinks go, my balls have certainly dropped. i drink Makers straight up, on the rocks. I think vodka is the most foul substance on the planet, next to Gin. Mullets are very entertaining, and so are little people, howver, I have never seen a midget with a mullet. [open new window, google, midgets with mullets]. Now I have. I'd still like to see one in person, though. I would trust anything that Allstate Insurance black guy said to me. I truly believe he must be a great person. I fall asleep on trains at night, and have a record set of missing my stop four times. I'm strangely proud of that last fact. I love karaoke, but I absolutely cannot sing. Oh, and where would life be without ham-n-cheese Lean Pockets?
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Who I'd like to meet:
Lots of smart squirrels.
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| The Elyse Huntoon's Friend Space (Top 24) |
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The Elyse Huntoon has 530 friends.
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