"the aim of life is to live, and to live means to be aware joyously, drunkenly, serenely, divinely aware." --henry miller
patience, turtles, laughter...
i love quickfire: writing, thinking, learning, conversation. i love stillness (and holding our breath) lately, i love listening. when i understand, and i'm understood:
it matters
by the tao: to understand, is to stand under.
...i love music, and words. i love the silence of a waiting word. i love the music borne upon words. and i love (love) words born of music. i love my heart and its song: imagine the jeopardy thinking theme, but EVEN better:(like a softly secret smile behind some grand romantic whim): i like being alone (i love being with you) i love the awe of connecting w/ wild animals. dark chocolate is delicious. i love endurance. i like running super fast just cuz. i love dreams that echo in my ears, deja vu, luck, and toying w/ "coincidence" = twirling in the center of the dance:
+Fate /-FreeWill
i delight in contriving random and abusing grammar!ha, campfire hair, and skipping stones. i love the sky: sun, clouds, moon, stars.. rain. i wish. and sometimes i believe. (psst: like right now, right now i believe ...) PASSTIME/ENTERTAINMENT: quiz and quandary, poker, pool, dicing, thrift shopping for the holy grail, movies. art: all the time: making it.
graffiti sur la peau:
i like studying science& mysterious stuff... ooooo, i love goosebumps, and !SURPRISE! ((secret pleasures: dancing on bars, arm wrestling boys, giving presents, mismatched socks, karaoke, kissing puppies, laughing in church, red boots, i like homemade stuffed animals (never made one, or had one made FOR me)-- i like pretending i know how to bellydance)) yoga heals. (i still hate waiting) and
"you must be the change you wish to see in the world."
-Gandhi
i sing whenever i want.
"so what." and i mean that.
"Music is a higher revelation than all wisdom and philosophy, it is the wine of a new procreation, and I am Bacchus who presses out this glorious wine for men and makes them drunk with the spirit."
-- Ludwig van Beethoven
okay:
my favorite songs are lovers and confidantes.. marrow and wind. i can't stand how much i love it when life hates my speakers: (the sound that can't be still) and then i sometimes spit my gum out the window, and sing out from way down: !!! if just to make it live and louder. (sometimes i hold my breath hoping for a heartbeat silenced... just to hear it best.)
Movies
..&the OOO!SHINY AND NEW Goldfish Cracker award goes to the most recent absolute dogshit "movie" that still made me bawl real tears: click
(best EVER) favorite movie: WAKING LIFE.
psst...
the exquisite: memoirs of a geisha
i have seen SO many movies since last i edited this list (o HOW i hate making lists and all such duties reliant upon the swiss cheese between my ears) i LOVE suggestions, so please feel free!
(some random favorites) ::blood diamond::a good year::APOCALYPTO::the departed::HOUSE OF D::dangerous beauty::cinderella man::batman begins::the constant gardener::CRASH (please see this movie)::the last samurai::the shining::the silence of the lambs::the cell::aliens:: million dollar baby::bleu (trois coleurs, by kieslowski-- his work is decadently dark, painstakingly poignant, more MORE) FINDING NEVERLAND::what the bleep do we know?:: almost famous::phenomenon::the abyss::braveheart::rob roy::garden state::THE NOTEBOOK::the believer::boondock saints::50 first dates::beauty and the beast(hehe)::you've got mail(she twirls and likes the smell of pencils)::amelie::bridges of madison county::crouching tiger, hidden dragon::truly madly deeply::the last of the mohicans::remember the titans::the rookie::frequency::bruce almighty::the princess bride::willow::the highlander::big bad love::entropy::french kiss::gun shy::big trouble::Pi::memento::orange county::RUSHMORE!::office space::dogma::wonder boys::as good as it gets::the missing::tombstone::paradise road::tears of the sun::THE BOXER::fight club::play it to the bone (boxing movies in general, and of course really good espionage/war movies---and good sci-fi/space movies---BUT when a movie can scare me, i mean really scare me, i love the great psychological thriller/horror flicks best of all.):: the lord of the rings trilogy-- finely done. that's a good list, love those movies..
i love to watch them all w/ he who has not yet seen.
(... o, and i don't like porn alot, which is, i guess the same as saying well, "sometimes i like it a little," whilst more accurately approximating my passionate attraction to spiritually cooperative, creative sensuality. not that there's necessarily anything wrong w/ it, i just don't need it at all: ever.)
Television
DEXTER
american scientific frontiers::antiques roadshow::billiards::bionic woman::BUFFY THE VAMPIRE SLAYER (is probably my fav show of all time)::cupid::frontline::futurama::grey's anatomy::inside the actor's studio::jeopardy!::newton's apple::northern exposure::nova:: project runway::reading rainbow::six feet under::the soprano's::the life and times of GRIZZLY ADAMS::top chef::not will not grace just karen: "Karen, holding a toaster over the bathtub and NOT dropping it does not qualify as 'saving her life'.." ::wonder woman::wsop
DOCUMENTARY PROGRAMMING INVOLVING GREAT APES AND/OR SECRETS&POWERS... AND/OR BRAINS&MINDS
Books
when i am not listening, singing, writing and/or watching i am reading everything all at once, all the time(ok, that's a lie, b/c that's impossible, but i wish! 1 of MY 3 wishes? a matrix style memory mind machine that could give me all the books up til: now) ANYpray, i read:
good myspace blogs: comedy, philosophy, poetry::SCIENCE! nonfiction::anything by ken wilber or kahlil gibran::webster's(ANDvarious reference material)
a few that i love: the little prince(antoine de saint exupery)::the mists of avalon(marion zimmer bradley: and so i am a writer)::the chronicles of thomas covenant: the unbeliever (stephen r. donaldson: changed my life)::the alchemist (paulo coelho: magic) the four agreements (don miguel ruiz: wisdom)
the prophet
pumpkin a'la moi, 1998
my current favorite: the beloved (kahlil gibran)
ps: "Talents" are not our own, save to be shared. EVERYthing is created for those who understand. "Ideas" are not mental or emotional property, but from some immortal well: the deep drink:: drawn of Clarity::: besetting the feast for Reason to taste beyond survival.
. . . kiss new hopes upon our dreaming brows: that all I N S P I R A T I O N for expression and deepest . . . h e a r t s o n g . . . will listen. (much less hear . . . )
nevermind.. worry's naught: the Radiance IS nonethless, invoked+>> = <<-and BElongs to brilliant reflections.. atop any catch-light ripple and every unabashed wave: to be loved.
to clarify: i said that^ and at least i found the bridge
Bridge to Bagby Springs
by Ian M. Clark
BUT, someone else who Knows.. and who has followers said this:
"Of all the medicines in the world, Myriad and various..There is none like the medicine of Truth. Therefore, O followers, drink of this."
WHAT FOLLOWS may daunt you in advance of your attention spent, YES, it IS long, but what a dandy fine "nut-shell" for my hopes:
".comPassion"
aka: EMPOWERMENT of inspiriation, and exponential kindness from our MIND'S interconnectivity.. (spirit charging these live wires) WHY not? "YES" this is Life. "YES" who we ARE matters, even here. THIS is real.
(excerpts from a foreword to Ken Wilber: Thought as Passion, by Frank Visser)
"... See for yourself if, in the depths of your own awareness, right here and now, you can find the entire Kosmos, because that is where it resides. Birds are singing--- in your awareness. Ocean waves are crashing--- in your awareness. Clouds are floating by--- in the sky of your own awareness. What is this awareness of yours, that holds the entire universe in its embrace and knows the secrets even of God? In the still point of the turning world, in the secret center of the known universe, in the eyes of the very one reading this page, at the very source of thought itself, watch the entire Kosmos emerge, dancing wildly with a passion philosophy tries to capture, crowned with a glory and sealed with a wonder lovers seek to share, rushing through a radiant world of time that is but eternity's bid to be seen: what is this self of yours?..
... Every one of my books has at least one sentence, usually burried that says the following: "There follows, then the story... It is a sharing of what i have seen; it is a small offering of what i have remembered; it is also the Zen dust you should shake from your sandals; and it is finally a lie in the face of that Mystery which only alone is."
In other words, all of my books are lies. They are simply maps of a territory, shadows of a reality, gray symbols dragging their bellies across the dead page, suffocated signs full of muffled sound and faded glory, signifying absolutely nothing. And it is the nothing, the Mystery, the Emptiness alone that needs to be realized: not known but felt, not thought but breathed, not an object but an atmosphere, not a lesson but a life. ... Please use (maps) only as a reminder to take up dancing itself, to inquire into this Self of yours, this Self that holds this page and this Kosmos all in a single glance. And then express that glory in integral maps, and sing with passion of the sights you have seen, the sounds that the tender Heart has whispered only to you in the late hours of the quiet night, and come and tell us what you have heard... in the vibrant Silence that you alone own, and the radiant Heart that we alone, together, can discover."
Heroes
Mo Cuishle:
ICONS: kahlil gibran, ken wilber, joseph campbell and stephen donaldson. prophets of music and word, life and liberty. those who have taught me integrity, and to love.
"What each must seek in his life never was on land or sea. It is something out of his own unique potentiality for experience, something that never has been and never could have been experienced by anyone else."
--Joseph Campbell
"The eye of clarity is so called because it brings sight to everyone. It enables every single one to enter the uncreated and unconditioned reality, each in his own way." (Prajnaparamita)
"..i think i can.. i think i can..."
::furthermore::
i believe in living autonomy. i believe in self-actualization. i believe in the magic of perception, and the creation of my own ideal. i surround myself with beauty and frivolity.. with the decadence of eternal youth. frivolity spins round in parking lots half-way to my car ( ??maybe i really AM wonderwoman) with belly laughter that aches to tears: decadence. beauty neverminds the 10,000 things (desires/needs) of my own, on any ONE's behalf.
outside morality and for NO reason aside the simplest sake of Grace: one CAN embody the empowerment of god:: just choose.
no one else made ME who i am, let's all say it aloud:
"accountability? that's mine."
i AM grateful to have learned much from many people. (i will never again struggle to prove, or be approved)
errr, ha. wow.. eek... i try try try not to lie, sorry 'bout that last one! AMMENDMENT: commit me to that proverbial "best"-- you know, the one that's mine, all mine.. AND i will go ahead and do that to approve of myself.
i never found Jesus in any man's church.. but, once i closed my eyes seeking compassion, and Jesus gave me the reason for suffering. as "IT" happens: the longer i entertain my self--- the more i am found by the way: though i am no great student of the Tao Te Ching. (words. if ever buried i must be, bury me in words, shake ALL the pages blank over my six-foot-under head, please & thanks in advance)
ok, fine: i am NOTHING of an objectivist, the convent won't have me (it's the twirling dervishness) sometimes i know better, sometimes i shoulda AND coulda:
"so what."
i am Taoist by example of being.
"A perfectly healthy sentence, it is true, is extremely rare. For the most part we miss the hue and fragrance of the thought; as if we could be satisfied with the dews of the morning or evening without their colors, or the heavens without their azure."
--Henry David Thoreau
thanks for supporting my writing for your devotion of time and for sharing your Self with me
i am the darkness that is the light. the stillness that is the dance.
Hummingbird Spirit Calls To You! Hummingbird represents optimism and sweetness,
being able to roll with the punches.
Wisdom Includes:
*Ability to heal by using light as a laser from mouth (it's true: i have magic kisses!) *Endurance over long journeys *Ability to fly into small places to heal *Joy (aka:) Happiness *Love. Messenger, stopper of time.
june 16, 1971 white self-existing wizard
i define in order to enchant,
measuring receptivity.
i seal the output of timelessness
with the self-existing tone of form.
i am guided by the power of heart.
White Wizard: Enchants Timelessness
IN Light: Receptivity, Integrity, Heart-knowing, Jaguar, Shape shifter, Priest, Magician, Torch bearer, Supernatural, Alignment with Divine will
IN Shadow:
Will out of alignment with Divine Will. Issues of integrity, personal power, control. Need for approval and recognition; mind out of alignment with Heart-knowing.
Transformation:
Open to Heart-knowing and limitless possibilities. Be transparent: innocently allowing magic to come through you rather than needing to create it
"The opposite of a fact is falsehood, but the opposite of one profound truth may very well be another profound truth."
--Niels Bohr
"Every great work of art has two faces: one toward its own time and one toward the future, toward eternity." -- Daniel Barenboim, Parallels and Paradoxes
people DO toss the word paradox around lightly.
book's "definition" speaks only to its contradictory nature i just plain don't know enough about the relative scientific theory to drop any pearls: so i won't. i have had grand ambitions for re-defining this "enigma" i have come a long way to embrace it upon vestigial faith;)
ANY pearls i fumble to drop will be black... (better than a fortune cookie in guru circles) ((it's a wizard thing, eastern, taoist, CONFUSIONIST))ha
(me at the Walker Art Center in Minneapolis, MN. original photo by David H. Strom)
paradox: n. [Gr. para, beyond + doxa, opinion] : 2)a: that which SEEMS contradictory, but may be true in fact. b: that which IS self-contradictory and that at first SEEMS true. c: an argument that SEEMS to derive self-contradictory conclusions by valid deduction from acceptable premises.
"i, caitlin ann, swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but, So? HELP me God!?" ..geez.. ("You-- Yes, YOU!!... Stand STILL Laddie!!!)
i am green, so as to discover gold suffering, so as to know compassion ..i forget, in honor of remembrance i will always doubt, for sake of possibility (surround me all uncommon, so that i might belong)
peace came inside this paradox
just out of the . . . b l u e . . . between, beyond: the next: "next"
SO, the universe expands..: making fist of bone, and I of stone constantly less significant. within that (what) and This, which seem to matter most
i b r e a t h e
..sigh.. in tune to what can not be told: of Dawn and Hope and Best (shhh. i know nothing better still) reflecting only yet ... i honor :this:
washed up seaglass dream skipped across an ageless tide.. . ...slipped inside a nameless grace to rest where never ends when i am in that place in (me) and you are in that place in (you) there is only one of us
i(bx2)=1
the point b prophecy: Now is when it is: Here is where it is: You are what it is: enjoy.
What I do you cannot do; but what you do, I cannot do.
The needs are great, and none of us, including me,
ever do great things. But we can all do small things,
with great love, and together we can do something wonderful.
Mother Teresa
once again:
+>=<- (everything is balance)
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Hi Caitlin!!!! Long time no...hear. :) We miss you guys. How is everything in AZ? Can you send me your email address again? I lost my address book a while ago. Talk SOOOOOON!
Hey. Thanks for adding us. Hopefull we can play there fri. If not we can still be friends. But I think it could be a regular fun thing for the locals !!
Well, spring is finally here, and my book release is less than three months away! Please join my email list (see front pg. of www.jjhebert.net) to receive my awesome newsletter, which I use to keep subscribers informed about giveaways, contests, book releases, and other stuff, like most recently--an announcement that UNCONVENTIONAL will not only be released as a paperback in July but also as a free serialized podcast, narrated by Jeff Kafer, an award-winning voice over artist! That's right, you'll be able to listen to each episode (i.e. three chapters) at podiobooks.com, jjhebert.net, and/or via your iPod. I hope you enjoy it!
As you may or may not know, my birthday is coming up on the 29th. Instead of gifts this year, I'm asking that everyone join my Email List on www. jjhebert. net. Unconventional, my newest novel, will be published by Mindstir Media later this year, and joining the Email List will ensure that you receive updates regarding my book release, contests, giveaways, and more.
Life Question: What form will my service take?
(you)
