Alanis Morisette, Beck, Bjork, Blur, Bright Eyes, Bourbon Princess, Busta Rhymes, Chris Cornell (including Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, and Audioslave), Fiona Apple, Garbage, Gomez, Gwen Stefani and No Doubt, Lauryn Hill, Macy Gray, Modest Mouse, Morphine, Nina Simone, Nirvana, Pearl Jam, PJ Harvey, Radiohead, Soul Coughing, The Bad Idea Party, The Fugees, The Get Up Kids, The Pixies, The Jeff Robinson Trio, The Shins, U2. Anything but reggaeton.
Movies
Almost Famous, American History X, Bad Educacion, Clue, Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Kill Bill (Volumes One & Two), Oh Brother Where Art Thou, Requiem For a Dream, Sin City, South Park: Bigger Longer Uncut, The Fox & The Hound, The Opposite of Sex, Y Tu Mama Tambien
Television
Angel, Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Coupling, Dead Like Me, Doctor Who, Family Guy, Firefly, In Living Color, Medium, My Life on the D-List, Real Time with Bill Maher, Robot Chicken, Roseanne, Saturday Night Live, South Park, The 4400, The Daily Show, Twin Peaks
Books
Derrick C. Brown's "If Loving You Is Wrong, Then I Don't Want To Be Wrong", Augusten Burroughs's "Dry", Mike Carey's Lucifer saga, Lewis Carrol's "Alice in Wonderland", Mark Z. Danielewski's "House of Leaves", Jeffrey Eugenides's "Middlesex", Neil Gaiman's Sandman Library, Mark Haddon's "The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night Time", Tony Hoagland's "Donkey Gospel", John Irving's "The World According To Garp", Stephen King's Dark Tower Series, Stephen King's "On Writing", Jack Maccarthy's "Say Goodnight, Grace Notes", Tim O'Brien's "The Things They Carried", Tom Robbins's "Skinny Legs And All"Jonathan Safran Foer's "Extremely Loud, Incredibly Close", David Sedaris's "Me Talk Pretty One Day", Art Spiegelman's "Maus"
My first novel, Puppy Victims of Pet Store Fires, should be available during 2007. It's a work of fiction based on the Insafemode Journals (www.livejournal.com/users/insafemode)
Cape Cod's Spoken Word Poet Laureate, member of seven national slam teams from 1999-2005, Haiku Champion of Boston, winner of the 2001 Provincetown Poetry Festival Poetry Slam, occasional cohost and doorman at The Cantab Lounge
I've never been convicted for any of my crimes against humanity. I hold two degrees; one in separation anxiety, and another in Preestablished Psychological Whatever, both from The University of Icarus Online. I've been around the world, worked in a chocolate factory, bumped and grinded, believed I could fly, but have never been trapped in a closet. I sneak self-esteem across my borderline personality disorder using animal balloons. I just learned how to make an animal balloon shaped like jello running a marathon down the legs of Tina Turner as she rolls down the River Styx. Would you like one?
I taught myself to type by watching orangutans pick nits off each other. I learned to nitpick by watching a million simians type Mark Twain's Letters to the Earth. I've written the suicide notes of Kurt Cobain, Jerzy Kosinski, Jonathan Brandis, David Kelley, Hunter S. Thompson, and other celebrities the government had killed to protect their secrets. I also wrote every poem attributed to Sylvia Plath, Robert Lowell, and Anne Sexton.
I can work time and a half in half the time, and only take sick days when my tuberculosis acts up. I have the sort of can do attitude that makes even cheerleaders and flight attendants nauseous. I smile so much, my mouth was inducted into the Aryan Nation. Dear Abby used to call me every day for advice, until she misquoted me a few years ago and I told her to drop dead. I haven't heard from her since.
Carley Simon's "You're So Vain" is actually about me. So are Mariah Carey's "Hero", Debbie Boon's "You Light Up My Life", and Frank Zappa's "Why Does It Hurt When I Pee?".
I told Webster his dictionary would sell better if he alphabetized the words instead of organizing them by which ones he liked best. I taught Robin Williams how to act, Gregory Hines how to tapdance, and your mom how to suck dick.
I speak Braille, and hieroglyphs. I put the bop in the bop shoo bop shoo bop, the ram in the rama lama ding dong, and the po in impotent. I'm your daddy. I can get satisfaction, I just choose not to.
Vote for me, please. It's a good karma.
Who I'd like to meet:
I've already met a variety of people I enjoy being around. I'm recently resingled, and live with a bunch of cookie flipping poets.
If you want me to add you, and I don't know you, drop me an e-mail or a comment, so I'll know you're not a pornspammer, you're just hot.
See you Wednesday! I mean, we see you every Wednesday. But this Wednesday, we will see a lot more of you! I mean, not that you'll be there longer, or showing any more of you than usual. I mean, this Wednesday we will hear even more of you! Yes.
I mean, *I* usually hear a lot of you. But the whole audience this time. Hanging on your every word. None of which need be "We have the red kind or the white kind," or "I'll come back whenever you're done counting out those dimes."
Thanks for your support last nite. I wish I got to hear you read. I have an even greater respect for you and the performance you put forth in front of all the people.
