The International Brain Transplant Committee has its origins with the creation of “City of Camden Cranial Interest Group” (CCCIG) which formed on November 21st, 1877 in the wilds of Camden, NJ by world renowned brain surgeons: Dr. E.A Holstein, Dr. Petty Shanks, and Dr. Gates M. Helms. They were the foremost practitioners of cutting through people’s skulls and touching all up in their brains. They would perform these feats in alleyways and tar paper shacks in the woods. They would meet regularly to discuss the finer points of their craft, like how much they would touch up brains before attempting to resuscitate their volunteers OR how much they disliked really wet brains (Dr. Helms and Holstein always made sure to point out that Dr. Shanks would usually bring this subject up insisting wet brains to be tawdry. “It shined like a worn out lady of the night” as he would put it, breathing heavily into a blood stained handkerchief soaked with ether).
CCCIG remained virtually unknown until October 4th, 1885 when Dr. Holstein was approached with the request to see her “Brain Surgery” in action and was willing to exchange either cash or liquor for entry. Holstein told Helm and Shanks at their next meeting and the three decided to open their procedures (now called Performances) to the public. Thus, the earliest forms of theatre were born. People came in herds, more than willing to pay the at the time ridiculous entry fee of twenty dollars.
As they grew in popularity, the three grew bored simply with sawing peoples heads open and feeling their brains or scratching dirty limericks in the upside of their skulls. They then made the decision that would forever shake the blossoming art scene to its core: they wanted to take OUT the brain and PUT it somewhere else. So they changed their name to the now familiar International Brain Transplant Committee. They began training legions of performers to assist, study, and refine brain transplanting techniques.
Unfortunately, Dr. Helms, Shanks, and Holstein were all murdered by a bear one night. They stopped transplanting brains because they were all dead after that.
And that’s why we have this Myspace page. We’re very sorry.
