Just one letter away from smelling bad and a different letter away from going both ways (sexually)
Website
youtube.com/facetimecomedy
Influences
beer/wine/liqour are some. Do not drive or call your boss/ex-girlfriends while under these.
Members
word used to describe male privates in steamy/trashy romance novels...gross
TV Shows
I have appeared on a TV, not magically.
Films
I have appeared on film in the photo albums listed below.
Albums
"Chris's First Communion", "Chris's high school graduation", "the crew at Dave's lake house", "Summer '04", "Summer '05", "Homecoming '01, Go Redhawks!", "camping trip in West Virginia", "JD's BBQ" and the very controversial "Great Grandma Kate's Funeral"
Chris Burns's Interests
General
Fine Arts, Cutlery(silverware), Comedy, Funny things, man sports and tennis, raging at keggers. Also, movies, music, writing and reading. Some video gaming. Buffalo, NY.
Music
Movies
Garden State, Eternal Sunshine, Life Aquatic, Rushmore, Caddyshack, Crash, The Graduate, Wet Hot American Summer, Swingers, Made, Anchorman, Finding Neverland, To Wong Foo thanks for Everything (I'm kidding), Sister Act 2 (not kidding), Hook, the disney cartoon version of Robin Hood (again, not a joke), Big, I Heart Huckabees, Groundhog Day, Bottle Rocket, Royal Tenenbaums, Fargo, Napoleon Dynamite, Lost in Translation, Good Will Hunting, Shawshank Redemption, Best in Show, Waiting for Guffman, A Mighty Wind
Television
shows? The Office, Arrested Development, Family Guy, the Simpsons, Malibu Shores, Saved By the Bell, Boy Meets World, Wonder Showzen
Books
The Alchemist, Catcher in the Rye, Joshua, The Chronicles of Narnia, Wigfield, Wild at Heart, Barrel Fever, Dress your Family in Corduroy and Denim, The Giver, Play it as it Lays, most picture books, Where the Sidewalk Ends
Heroes
My Dad (I'm kidding) no really he is (ignore that)
About me: I am the living, bald comedian. Not the dead, gay porn actor.
This is a short film about what is inside a strange painting that my roommate put up in our apartment...
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Who I'd like to meet: who you'd like to meet.
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I was in Chicago last month, but it was such short notice and was there for less then a day. Otherwise I woulda looked you up. Maybe next time, we'll come watch some standup.
