Dear Myspace Students,
I have decided that the time has come for me to graduate from Myspace Acadamy. I think I am once again ready for REAL LIFE. I know real life is much harder than life at Myspace, but now that I have graduated from Myspace Acadamy, I know that I have the means to survive in the real world. Please allow me to thank all of my fellow students for the wonderful comments that you have left me and all of the wonderful messages. Your support during my short but intensive training at Myspace Acadamy has been very thoughtful and it will be difficult to walk away from all of you, but remember that this is the glue that is supportive to the Myspace mission of trapping it's students forever for the sake of it's benifactor advertisers. Think about this.. when was the last time you sent a kind comment in the mail to your gramma? When was the last time you sent a gift packet to your cousin in the armed forces who is off risking his or her life in Iraq? When was the last time you sent REAL flowers to someone you love instead of an animated picture of twinkly flowers in a Myspace comment? Take my advice.. it's the REAL things that count! Now stop reading for just a moment.... Look over your shoulder at your kid who is glued to the TV or your spouse or partner who is folding your shirt or cooking your dinner and tell me that something is not wrong with this picture.
Please, won't you join me on this wonderful graduation day from Myspace Acadamy? Join me and some of the lucky other few people who can now proudly call themselves "Myspace Alumni" !
Myspace is an easy way to have lots of friends. I have had over 4000 of them, and to be certain, I have enjoyed a continous dialog with many Myspace friends. The offline reality, however, is quite a bit different as I have personally only met or talked on the phone with maybe 7 or 8 of my 4000 plus Myspace friends. Certainly I have been asked for my phone number and asked on dates, but of course you know that it would be extremely risky for me to engage in meetings with strangers or to give out my phone number to potential stalkers.
As many of you may have discovered, Myspace can be a very gratifying (read addictive) experience and a real ego boost, but I have also discovered that it takes an exceeding amount of time to be cordial and even to read the all of the messages (how does Tila do it?). Many people have asked me to do online chat. The reason that I don't is that I get zillions of pop up chat windows and I feel bad that I can't say hi to everyone. I'm starting to feel the same way here. There are people who really do deserve a reply to their sweet comments, but I just don't have the time, so I feel like I owe people something. It is for these reasons that I have decided to retire my profile here and get back to living the REAL LIFE; anyway, if I don't graduate and continue to reply to your messages and give you comments back to your profile then I am just helping the benifactors in trapping you here longer.
My suggestion to everyone at Myspace Acadamy is to think about renewing some old REAL friendships with people that you may have not talked to in a long time, or go make some new REAL friends. Make some REAL plans to meet some friends for coffee or lunch, or to go out dancing. Try read a book to your kids or going for a walk in the park. Why not check out the local art scene on "First Thursday" or whatever they call that special art day of the month in your town. How about a nice game of checkers or chess, or call up a pal to watch a movie together. If you can do these things without graduating from Myspace, then all the power to you.. the benifactors will appreciate you, but for myself, I just can't see a way to be halfway about it.. It's all or nothing. My philosophy is do the best that you can do in everything you do, so if I can't give my profile and friends here at myspace the best, then I'm not going to have the profile anymore. I guess it will be sad for a while and miss all of the attention, but the joy of REAL life is calling me and I look forward to it very much.
If you see me walking down the street someday, please feel free to say hello or even "I saw you on Myspace". I would love to meet you! Until then... so long my 4000 friends; I think I may miss some of you very much!
Your friend, Jade :)
