-Chinj-gruel (obviously). -Using my natural juices to break helpless still-living things down into their constituent proteins. -Belching [not an 'interest'? Baby, you ain't heard the way /I/ do it!] -Changing my beautiful pink body to imitate anything or anyone I feel like imitating [especially (HAAAH!) if they're sensitive about their appearance!] -Seven-way gladiatorial monster fights to the death. -Samurai movies [yes, your world seems pretty crummy most of the time, but I admit it, classic Kurosawa flicks are something you just can't get back home in The Big H.]
Music
The choked, gargling screams of my enemies are plenty of music to me. But that stuff that Enthoven does with his mates at weekends, that Sour Mash Daddy and His Sixty Wives stuff? I got to say, actually that ain't bad.
Movies
'The Seven Samurai'. 'Sanjuro'. 'Yojimbo'. Oh, and 'Shogun Assassin': it ain't Kurosawa, but what it lacks in character development it sure makes up in blood and severed body parts.
Television
Everybody's got smooth skin, two arms, two legs and a head. What's with that?
Books
Don't get me started. Your other human books may not be as much fun (dammit) as The Black Tattoo, but fer the love of Godfrey, at least they're not full of our frelkin' SECRETS! Anyway, here's the Enthoven, getting all excited about it (as usual)
Heroes
Jonathan Stroud, Eoin Colfer, Anthony Horowitz, Joe Craig, Darren Shan, Robert Muchamore, Rick Riordan, Scott Westerfeld, Melvin Burgess, Dean Vincent Carter, Alan Moore, Douglas Adams, Roald Dahl, Scott Lynch, Ogami Itto
About me:
Hey. Name's Jagmat. The ugnacious JAGMAT WRELKMINK of the FORMLESS LORDS - that's my full handle - but Jagmat'll do just fine. On a good day, when I've had plenty to eat, I'm a little over six feet tall. My skin is a gorgeous glossy pale pink, but like the rest of me I can change that at will. Most of the time I look kinda like a blangmange that's just exploded. Hey, what can I tell you? I'm a demon from Hell. Believe me or don't, 's'all the same to me...
Who I'd like to meet: Sam Enthoven. You heard of him? No? GOOD. You heard of a book called The Black Tattoo? No? GOOD. I don't know how that whey-faced glasses-wearing little blood-sack managed to find out so much about us demons, but when I catch up with him - YOU READING THIS, ENTHOVEN? - I tell you, he's gonna regret it. He must think he's pretty sharp, blabbing Hell's secrets over half your planet. He must feel pretty pleased with himself, oh yeah, with his www.theblacktattoo.com looking all gooey and tentacley an' stuff. Well, we'll just see how he feels when I pick him up by the [CENSORED], wrap my suckers round his [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] his [CENSORED] until the snilgs run out of his phlorklocks. Not so clever then, I'll bet. URP. 'Scuse me.
dude your picture is prettyy awsome haha i read the black tattoo like last year off a recomendation from a friend and i was sucked right in, its definatly prolly one of my favorite books thanks for the add :)
Jagmat, you rock baby. Any school you visit must become a school of rock. Please note that a rock is never out of the question. Love Ray, Norah and Neil xxx
hey Mr.Jagmat i love you books they are the absolute bomb, i mean i never read like never but once i started the Black tattoo i just couldn't put it down, recently i started your newest one Tim ect. and i have to say it's a masterpeice also i tell all my friends about your books and that they have to read them my friend started the Black tattoo and she is in love with it to but anyways to my points 1 are you going to make a movie you of them? because that would be AWESOME and two whens the next one comming out?, soon i hope from your maybe not Number one fan but pretty damn close Donavan
Yo Jagermeister...... how's it pendulating? What up Dogggg? Whooo. See, you don't scare me no more!!Ha ha, I can never fear you again, yay!! And you know why? 'Cos I got the RADIATION man! It's foul man, foul. You don't know the half, man. No, brother Jazzmaster. It's like cream of the crop, I rise to the top. I'm flying man, you knows it, you knows it........ ah you knows it.
Thanks! Its one of my favorite movies. I like it and the Dark Crystal. Dont know if youve seen it? Ive read the black tattoo five times! I thought that honestly you were the funniest and most frank character in the book. I would love to live in the kingdom where you rule. ALL HAIL JAGMAT, THE AWESOME RULER OF HELL!!!!!!!!!!!1
Hi, I Am Not One For Reading Books But I Started Reading Sam's Book ANd I finished it [the black tatto] in 3 days. It was Amazing. IO was jsut woundering if you know of a ntoher book that i would like that also has to do with Demons Darkness Death Blood Things liek that
lol..thanks i read the first chapter of TIM in the black tattoo..sounds pretty cool.. you can count on me to get it lol..and i dont go well with ketchup..BBQ might be better lol.
OK, guess I'd better take your advice and stay here. I am very good at martial arts and Taekwondo, so I'm sure I'd have no trouble doing what Esme does. I would read the Enthoven's book again, but every time I do, I just feel like going to Hell - merely to see what it is like down there. ( I also recently seem to have developed a craving for Chinj gruel. I mean, when I first read about it, I was pretty grossed out, but the more and more I thought about it, the more I wanted some! Say, Jagmat - You don't think there's a chance of me getting any Chinj gruel any time soon, do you? 'Hellfully' hopeful - Eve.
Mighty fine belching indeed. She had just eaten a man, so she had a bit of wind. What sort of things (apart from people and Chinj vomit) do you eat, Jagmat? Eve
Thanks for the info. I will check the bookstores and if I don't find it there I will order it online ^_^. I will keep in mind that you are more handsome in RL ;-). btw... I really like your pink color
Much love <3 from a dutch fan, Lydia
Jan 9 2008 1:38 PM
the same to ya to im excited me talkin to tha emperer of hell and all. but it's nice to finaly talk to ya i mean most people just blow me off after the first comment.so maybe we can go get a bowl o' the chinj somtime well may ur pink stay gooey
Jagmat! long time no see id greet you by normal terms but you know how i might spoil the book for others ;) ahhh yes many freinds up here at least i dont have to feed them like in Hell... no offence mind you he he but thank you for accepting say hello to Sam for me will you
Thanks for your words Jagmat, always nice to hear from yah, and yep them pesky hyena heads can be a problem, as for erceta-cocky don't get get me started. But again thanks for your very kind words, I know you dwell in hell and all but they still mean alot and the faithless one burped when I told her you liked her drawing and then she smiled and asked for her dinner. Stay Frosty
So, I just read Sam's latest book and I have to say that I think you may have some competition with TIM. He was pretty awesome and can totally kick butt. I just thought that I'd give you the heads up, so that when the book is released you are not caught unaware. Angie - The Book Seller
Oh mighty and beautiful Emperor of all creation, you Jagmat are a true joy to work with. I have worked with some of the sexiest dancers and shot dozens of the most gracefull models on the catwalks of Milaan but your amorphous bulk seems to have become my muse.. I have a tiny boon to ask of you and in return I can offer you a completely new universe with infinite delicate creatures to crush and consume. I ask that I may have a few words with Sam Enthoven. Who's name is suspiciously like the name of the city where I live. Destiny might be upon us and no mistake..
