Jagmat
Here to eat new and interesting people. URP. 'Scuse me.

Male
101 years old
Hell
United Kingdom



Last Login: 7/14/2009
Mood: scared Mood Image
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    Jagmat's Interests
General-Chinj-gruel (obviously). -Using my natural juices to break helpless still-living things down into their constituent proteins. -Belching [not an 'interest'? Baby, you ain't heard the way /I/ do it!] -Changing my beautiful pink body to imitate anything or anyone I feel like imitating [especially (HAAAH!) if they're sensitive about their appearance!] -Seven-way gladiatorial monster fights to the death. -Samurai movies [yes, your world seems pretty crummy most of the time, but I admit it, classic Kurosawa flicks are something you just can't get back home in The Big H.]
MusicThe choked, gargling screams of my enemies are plenty of music to me. But that stuff that Enthoven does with his mates at weekends, that Sour Mash Daddy and His Sixty Wives stuff? I got to say, actually that ain't bad.
Movies'The Seven Samurai'. 'Sanjuro'. 'Yojimbo'. Oh, and 'Shogun Assassin': it ain't Kurosawa, but what it lacks in character development it sure makes up in blood and severed body parts.
TelevisionEverybody's got smooth skin, two arms, two legs and a head. What's with that?
BooksDon't get me started. Your other human books may not be as much fun (dammit) as The Black Tattoo, but fer the love of Godfrey, at least they're not full of our frelkin' SECRETS! Anyway, here's the Enthoven, getting all excited about it (as usual)
HeroesJonathan Stroud, Eoin Colfer, Anthony Horowitz, Joe Craig, Darren Shan, Robert Muchamore, Rick Riordan, Scott Westerfeld, Melvin Burgess, Dean Vincent Carter, Alan Moore, Douglas Adams, Roald Dahl, Scott Lynch, Ogami Itto

     Jagmat's Details
Status:Single
Here for:Networking
Body type:More to love!
Zodiac Sign:Leo
Occupation:Demon



Jagmat says help! I've been TRAPPED BY MONSTERS! http://www.trappedbymonsters.com/
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Jagmat's Latest Blog Entry  [Subscribe to this Blog]

5. THE ENTHOVEN IS DEAD!  (view more)

4. YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!!  (view more)

3. FRIENDS GOOOOOD!  (view more)

2. Still hungry...  (view more)

1. "If you can't eat 'em..."  (view more)

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   Jagmat's Blurbs
About me:
Hey. Name's Jagmat. The ugnacious JAGMAT WRELKMINK of the FORMLESS LORDS - that's my full handle - but Jagmat'll do just fine. On a good day, when I've had plenty to eat, I'm a little over six feet tall. My skin is a gorgeous glossy pale pink, but like the rest of me I can change that at will. Most of the time I look kinda like a blangmange that's just exploded. Hey, what can I tell you? I'm a demon from Hell. Believe me or don't, 's'all the same to me...
Who I'd like to meet:
Sam Enthoven. You heard of him? No? GOOD. You heard of a book called The Black Tattoo? No? GOOD. I don't know how that whey-faced glasses-wearing little blood-sack managed to find out so much about us demons, but when I catch up with him - YOU READING THIS, ENTHOVEN? - I tell you, he's gonna regret it. He must think he's pretty sharp, blabbing Hell's secrets over half your planet. He must feel pretty pleased with himself, oh yeah, with his www.theblacktattoo.com looking all gooey and tentacley an' stuff. Well, we'll just see how he feels when I pick him up by the [CENSORED], wrap my suckers round his [CENSORED], and [CENSORED] his [CENSORED] until the snilgs run out of his phlorklocks. Not so clever then, I'll bet. URP. 'Scuse me.

   Jagmat's Friend Space (Top 4)
Jagmat has 1107 friends.
 Sour Mash Daddy and His Sixty Wives 


 New Scientist 


 The Blob 


 Charles Darwin 





Jagmat's Friends Comments
Displaying 25 of 80 comments  ( View All | Add Comment )
-mj-





May 21 2009 10:41 AM

thanks for the add sam!!! its a japanese manga and one of my favorite anime series. . except that there's a spirit world in their story. . goodluck with the writing. . :P. .
Donavan





May 11 2009 11:41 AM

So Sir Jagmat how is life?
Tegan





May 3 2009 1:51 PM

Hiyaaaarrr! No problem. I have just finished the black tattoo after trying to get a hold of it 4 months. It is pure awsome!! Jagmat totally rules :)
Rosieeeeee <3





May 3 2009 1:05 PM

Thanks for the comment back sam, u sound really intresting i hope we talk soon and good luck in writting your other books to come im sure they will be as good as the ones you have out now x
rosie .
✟•°l<ãÐÅF¥°•✟





May 2 2009 4:08 PM

thanks jagmat haha. nice,nice
Bourbon Legend





Apr 1 2009 9:37 PM

Is Daz Fenster with you, man??!!
Bourbon Legend





Mar 20 2009 3:42 PM

That KHENTY's MENTAL man!!
Knappers(;





Feb 27 2009 11:39 PM

umm yum i mean cool?
Frosty





Feb 16 2009 3:46 AM

Why would you eat the Enthoven at such a crucial time? Could you please belch him up so that he can finish his new book? Because you know what they say: "Outside a dog (or in this case, Jagmat), a book is man's best friend, inside a dog (YOU) it's too dark to read" and i suppose that would also pertain to writing, would it not? please please pretty please with some Chinj vomit on top? I'd be ever so thankful :D
MickeyMouse





Feb 13 2009 1:23 PM

Jagmat, I was recently attempting to eat my friend as I was hungry, But she refused to let me rip her arm off.
Any advice?
Brissa :D





Feb 5 2009 10:52 PM

Yep yep, anytime!!
Bourbon Legend





Feb 3 2009 12:47 PM

There's nothing worse than being TRAPPED BY MONSTERS... unless of course they're MONSTERS OF ROCK!!! ARGH!!! ROCK ON!!!
Brissa :D





Jan 30 2009 3:44 AM

lol, poor Pizza guy!
I would love to meet you!
The Black Tatoo was awesome!!
Brissa :D





Jan 29 2009 8:21 PM

Hehe You would eat me!!
Oh my!
Maybe I should chose my Friends more carefully!
Frosty





Jan 24 2009 3:35 PM

You are always welcome, Jagmat! I'm a creative writer myself and so I know some of the challenges that come with writing. I'm very excited about your upcoming book.
Keep up the good work! :D
Frosty





Jan 23 2009 11:03 PM

THE BLACK TATTOO IS MY ALL-TIME FAVOURITE BOOK! i definitely digg it, i read it about a year and a half ago and am trying to spread it around before the pages start falling out. TIM was amazing, too, but THE BLACK TATTOO was better, i think.
Patrick





Jan 2 2009 10:55 PM

long time no see. When are you going back to hell? I'd like to visit to but I'm a little busy at the moment. Lol. Someone should make a TIM profile. I would definetlly add that.
Bourbon Legend





Dec 22 2008 5:07 PM

HAPPY FRELKIN' HOLIDAYS, MAN!!!
I come in peace........





Dec 11 2008 10:44 PM

GREETINGS!
Image and video hosting by TinyPic
*bäng* Chri-Stopher *bäng*





Dec 3 2008 5:19 PM

dude your picture is prettyy awsome haha i read the black tattoo like last year off a recomendation from a friend and i was sucked right in, its definatly prolly one of my favorite books thanks for the add :)
Patrick





Nov 25 2008 9:16 PM

i thought the phrase was "fresh meat". good luck being emperor of hell.
Sparko





Oct 29 2008 5:01 PM

Thanks for the add, Jagmat.
Interesting weird interesting profile ;)
Bourbon Legend





Sep 30 2008 4:19 PM

Jagmat, you rock baby. Any school you visit must become a school of rock. Please note that a rock is never out of the question.
Love Ray, Norah and Neil xxx
BASS WEAZAL





Sep 20 2008 3:50 PM

HAHAHA:) thanks man, what on earth is your pic? lol

BASS WEAZAL!
Donavan





Sep 19 2008 11:37 PM

hey Mr.Jagmat i love you books they are the absolute bomb, i mean i never read like never but once i started the Black tattoo i just couldn't put it down, recently i started your newest one Tim ect.
and i have to say it's a masterpeice also i tell all my friends about your books and that they have to read them my friend started the Black tattoo and she is in love with it to but anyways to my points
1 are you going to make a movie you of them? because that would be AWESOME
and two whens the next one comming out?, soon i hope
from your maybe not Number one fan but pretty damn close
Donavan
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