Jaguar Bennett
Stand-Up / As Seen on TV / Political Humor
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Tasteless, Unnecessary, Uncomfortable to Watch
Male
41 years old
Fresno, CA
United States
Last Login: 11/6/2009
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Jaguar Bennett's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | Jaguar Bennett is the pseudonym of Hieronymus Bosch (1450-1516), a Dutch painter of allegorical scenes that some art historians see as a precursor of surrealism. Obsessed with religious iconography, Bosch's paintings depict nightmarish images of the souls of men and women tormented by demons and anthropomorphized animals. Currently, Bosch is dead. | | Website | jaguarbennett.com | | Influences | Max Stirner, Ernest Gowers, A.J.P. Taylor |
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Jaguar Bennett's Interests
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Jaguar Bennett's Details
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| Status: | Single | | Here for: | Networking, Friends | | Orientation: | Straight | | Hometown: | Fresno, CA | | Religion: | Atheist | | Zodiac Sign: | Aries | | Education: | College graduate | | Occupation: | Writer, Stand-Up Comedian, Actor |
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Jaguar Bennett's Latest Blog Entry
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Check out this event: All I Want for Christmas...
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Glengarry Glen Ross Opens Tonight!
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Jaguar Does the Smokehouse, Thursday Aug 2
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“Fresno” on TV!
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Stand Up This Thursday at the Smokehouse, Downtown Fresno
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Jaguar Bennett's Blurbs |
About me:
I feel like I've been repeatedly punched in the stomach by a seven-year-old girl crippled by infantile poliomyelitis.
I am paralyzed with fear, because I know that somewhere the entire Republican National Committee is laughing at me.
In the mornings, the only thing that keeps me from trembling is a shot glass of Formula 409.
I am hostile to women, insulting to men, and brutal to children.
I've replaced every tendon in my joints with EZ-Rip Velcro.
I've saved a year's worth of toenail clippings and built a working scale model of Walter Mondale.
Other people waste their lives on get-rich-quick schemes. I devote my life to get-poor-quick schemes.
My foremost wish is for self-annihilation. After that, a fast sports car and a tax-exempt income would be pretty nice.
I am of mixed ancestry: 1/3 French, 1/3 German, and 1/3 marmoset.
I am a nervous wreck.
My favorite words are sausage, cheese, and murder.
People often think I'm angry, bitter, sadistic, ill-tempered, and unhappy. They are wrong. I am not unhappy.
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Who I'd like to meet:
Strange, unhappy people who want to stalk me.
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| Jaguar Bennett's Friend Space (Top 12) |
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Jaguar Bennett has 218 friends.
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