About me: A five-year Dunder Mifflin veteran, I insist the job is just an extended stop on the path toward my career and I have stated (albeit casually) that I would move to Maryland and take up a better job if it weren't for receptionist Pam. My relationship with Pam is occasionally the subject of office speculation, which can be a bit uncomfortable considering her former engagement to Roy Anderson, a Dunder Mifflin dock worker. Pam and I once went out for lunch together when we first met and had an amazing time, until I found out that she was already in love with Roy. I never seriously thought Pam and Roy would get married. Turns out I was right. I list my mom Larissa as my emergency contact. I share a house with my roommate, Mark, and was recently involved with a purse merchant named Katy but broke up with her on a company booze cruise before revealing my love for Pam to my boss, Michael Scott, who, in an uncharacteristically serious moment, encouraged me to "never give up".
My nonchalant and cynical attitude toward Dunder Mifflin are manifested by a PlayStation Portable which you can spot on my desk, my humorous deadpan camera poses in reaction to surprising office developments, and my inciting comments during employee meetings. I also love to pull pranks, the majority of them on deskmate Dwight Schrute. Although occasionally, the success of these pranks lead to inadvertently backfiring on me such as where my flirtation with Pam got physically awkward; or when my latest prank involving an I.D. badge pushed Dwight over the edge and demanded that Michael seriously fire me or transfer me out of the Scranton office.
I drive a red late-model Toyota Corolla sedan. My favorite food is soft-shell crab, but despite this I eat a ham-and-cheese sandwich nearly every lunchtime at the same breakroom table. I even order the meal when being treated to lunch at Hooters. I purchased a non-refundable ticket for an Australian vacation knowing the date overlaped with Roy and Pam's planned wedding in June 2006. After realizing that I wasted a lot of time playing pranks on Dwight, I investigated a transfer to Dunder Mifflin's Stamford office.
On one occasion I confessed my love to Pam and kissed her but she rejected my advances. Later in 2006 I transferred to the Stamford office and was even promoted. I earned the nickname "Big Tuna" from my co-worker Andy (because I once ate a tuna sandwich). I have trouble fitting in -- my pranks are reacted to with extreme anger, some think that I suck up to management, and no one understands why I always react to surprising developments by looking at the camera. I even casually confess that I miss the atmosphere of the laidback Scranton office in favor of the supposedly more rigid Stamford branch. The supposed rigidity of the Stamford branch is called into question in that a lot of time is spent by staff at the Stamford branch playing the online game Call of Duty during work hours, and my ineptitude at the game is the butt of many jokes. My relationship with co-worker Karen, however, has grown, and it seems that we may have feelings for each other.
When I met up with Michael at a paper distributors' convention, I said Michael was a "great boss" and admitted that I only transferred because of Pam. Michael has considered me his best friend after this.
I recently moved back to the Scranton office, when the Stamford office was consolidated with Scranton as part of downsizing. I've been seeing a lot of Karen. Yes, we're an item.
Well, we were an item. Now it's me and Pam.
Happy Office Thursday! Make sure you watch The Office's all new "Dream Team" at 8:30 pm EST and then watch "Michael Scott Paper Company" airing tonight at 9/8c only on NBC!
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