Beers of the World, Beers indigenous to North America, Beers brewed in Michigan, Beers brewed by my friends, beers in my fridge. Why do they call that thing between me and the TV a coffee table?
I also like Jeopardy!, gambling on anything except boxing, and playing disc golf as well as two obscure target games : One is "Horseballs"- Two golf balls glued to a rope that you attempt to hang on a 3 tiered PVC pipe. The other is "Washers"-You attempt to throw washers in a coffee can nailed to a box. 1point in the box, 3 points if ya put it in the can (insert yer own joke here). Washers is like the only legal Stagehand National Pastime. I'm sure construction workers play it too, but no one ever got a blow job to get a girl backstage at a partially finished Retirement Villa.
Music
The Clash, old Oi!, Face to Face, Fear, Angry Samoans, Murphy's Law, Social Distortion, Grommet,Bullcock are the top of the list, but I'll listen to just about any band with guitars not named Good Charlotte.
Movies
Gardens of Stone, Bull Durham, Slapshot, Caddyshack, The original Star Wars trilogy and scrambled porn.
Television
Anybody can make a banal list of TV shows,Ok, I'll give ya two:The Family Guy and Dexter.But before I die, just once, when Pat Sajak asks a contestant what she does in her spare time, I want her to reply "Well Pat, I really love to give head."
Books
Missing Links by Rick Reilly, The Rum Diary(Hunter S.Thompson),Flashing Before My Eyes(Dick Schaap),A Good Walk Spoiled (John Feinstein), Friday Night Lights(H.G.Bissinger), Geek Love (Katherine Dunn), Skinny Legs and All and Still Life With Woodpecker (Tom Robbins)any biographies of old bands or Hollywood rogues like Mitchum, Robert Evans, Belushi, etc.And any and all Doonesbury Anthologies, or Bukowski.
Heroes
Andrew Vachhs, Pat Tillman, Lt. Col. Fred Cherry and POW/Mia's everywhere.
Sports figures, writers and musicians aren't heroes (Except maybe the guy from Great White who tried to save a couple people at that club in Rhode Island).
About me: I was born in New York City, raised in Detroit, never grew up, went to an all boys Catholic High School-That's nice Ma, I just went through friggin' puberty and now yer gonna cloister my ass with a bunch of swingin' dick dorks dreamin' of accounting careers. I was Dreamin' of being the next Joe Strummer.
I'm the guy with the mic in the Almighty Lumberjacks of Death, I have an uproarious spoken word CD called Doucheland Uber Alles for sale, so contact me and buy one before I kidnap your pets and force them to be really fucking cute on youtube.
I play pretend in movies and videos. I'm not gonna call myself the "A" word unless the last syllable rhymes with mole. I know way too many people who are good actors to have that conceit. But I have been in a few projects; "Whatever Happens is Good", "Grummy"(which never saw the light of a projector), "The Horsemen"(The trailer is on my page) "Throbbing Justice" The video for The Unknown Soldier's "The Streets", "ScavAnger Hunt" the upcoming "The Amino Show", and "The Rain Chronicles" in which I costar with David Carradine of "Kung Fu" and "Kill Bill" fame and some great young talent.
Who I'd like to meet: Charles Bukowski, Joe Strummer, Hemingway , Jayne Mansfield, Hunter S. Thompson, but they're all dead so I'll go with Garry Trudeau, Mike Eruzione, Jim Craig,(anyone from the 80 US Hockey Team) Tom Robbins, JD Salinger, Denis Johnson, Chuck Palahniuk,Jill Wagner,that optometrist in that Restasis commercial and pretty women who can speak in complete sentences.
FREE PDF: my new extreme music journalism/road book "THE BIG SHINY PRISON". trust me, its worth it. but you have to copy & paste the link in your browser or it won't work: http://www.mediafire.com/?fyjzycckydd
features Brutal Truth to Millions of Dead Cops, Impaled to DWARVES, Repulsion to Cephalic Carnage. AxCx to Pig Destroyer, Kylesa to STALAGGH, Genghis Tron to Abysmal Dawn & beyond. Even USA President Barack Obama makes the most bizarre appearance of his entire career. Check it out if possible...
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Event: Stone Cold Crazys Maiden Voyage!!!! Date: Fri, November 27, 2009
Come on out and play with us at Swissels Inn....4985 24th Avenue....Fort Gratiot...930pm....Extreme partying and musical mayhem strongly encouraged.......Marc Ryder
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