Jeff Conner

About me:

Recently moved back from Los ANgeles to Maryland to recoop after being hit by a car. eek! anyways, I am the biggest snob about music you have ever met. I quit drinking for 6 months, just because... that was something... I love the outdoors. I require the same level of energy input as I output. (that don't mean I'm difficult, it means I'm interesting) I thought I was going to be a Herpatologist (pretty much Steve Irwin) until the age of 13. .. I wrote a book on sliced spiral ham. It was about African folklore, but I physically, literally wrote it on the spiraled ham. I can fart the Greek alphabet. I can eat my own face. I can make a mean tuna salad. I love animals. This includes (but isn't limited to) gorillas, dogs, unicorns, salmon, cheesecake, sharks, crocodiles, snakes and porn. I can play guitar and sing; if I really have to. I have a college degree that I have never used, much to my mothers' dismay. I fucking love Sushi. I believe that "Love" is the most overused, beaten-dead word in our language... Shennanigans are necessary. Silliness is abound, foremost and always. Hard to pronounce diseases are funny, even if it's me who's got em. (I don't got em.) ========================================================== I write, produce and direct SillyCon, comedic shorts with my evil partner; Jelly. I bike many much miles a week. I used to play in bands like Scrohawk and My 4.5 year project, which I sang and played guitar for, -Eat Your Neighbors harassed the Baltimore music scene from december 2001 til june 2006. I used to half sing, half dress up in monumentally preposterous costumes in another band that very well may destroy the world some day- Dingleberry Dynasty. I used to have a ridiculous mustache. My dog's name is Steve. He is a true comic genius. I believe he was sprinkled delicatly with retard dust... capitalization at the beginning of sentences is not high up on my importance list. Both my parents are teachers. I think everything is a ploy if you look at it in the right light. I'd rather believe something and have it be false, than not believe and have it be true. I honestly think hallucinogenics have contributed to the creation of basic religion, language, self reflection and all the spectrum of effects that come from consciousness and its inherent questions (see Terence McKenna). animals are hilarious. sex should be sweaty. force yourself to eat new things. If i could eat sushi every day for the rest of my life, i would without hesitation. green beans never get any better, no matter what dumb shit you pour on it. my life paradox is that I want to help people see the good and interesting aspects of an open minded lifestyle but people are fucking stupid. so, I write songs and tell jokes. you must format your beliefs in a palpable media for people to even care now. nobody reads anymore. recent studies show only 7% of Americans know the alphabet. other studies indicate 93% of Americans enjoy scrapple...coincidence?***************************************************************** I moderate the myspace fan club for the best worst movie of all time (check Troll 2 out!!!) And the subsequent documentary made about troll 2 that i had a tiny hand in!