pumpkin, and all pumpkin derived foods, miso, and all miso derived foods, traveling, communism, worshipping idols and false gods, rock climbing, turbo kickboxing, wandering (in places and in mind), surrealist art and writing, feminist theory (or i was interested, when i was smart), tall black slippers, fruit leather, trail running, doorknob walls at restoration hardware, greeting cards, trader joe's, whole foods, food experiments involving grain, bulgarian street dog psychology, shaking what my mother gave to me, americans and their funny american ways. my favorite liquid substances include: white wine and riesling, chocolate/vanilla/maple syrup soymilk, lychee martinis, mojitos, li hing margaritas, naked juice, mango lassi, banana smoothies, soy chai lattes, tea, coffee, hot chocolate, and warm liquids in general. i'm way into liquids. and i say that without the slightest sexual implications.
Music
fruit bats!, ani difranco, sigur ros, tori amos, joni mitchell, rachel's, jenny lewis, indigo girls, maria mena, beth orton, michele branch, lauryn hill, camera obscura, les nubians, tristan prettyman, sarah mclachlan, feist, ida, bjork, portishead, the decemberists, boards of canada, belle and sebastian, nick drake, beck, iron and wine, jimmy eat world, israel kamakawiwo'ole, the shins, smashing pumpkins, the sundays, elliot smith, jack johnson, innocence mission, blur, coldplay, the killers, bright eyes,cat power, lily allen, mandy moore, vanessa carlton, ashley simpson, amy winehouse, the postal service, death cab for cutie, phoenix, the beatles, ms. jon soda, ben harper, the be good tanyas, regina spektor, jessica sonner, bjork, jolie holland, kanye west, missy elliot, india.arie, aimee mann, fiona apple, rachel yamagata, tracy chapman, dar williams, rent soundtrack, joss stone, counting crows, justin timberlake.... and more... i'm always listening.
Movies
finding neverland, sketches of frank gehry, the devil and daniel johnston, shortbus, marie antoinette, i'm the one that i want, shut up and sing, volver, the squid and the whale, superbad!!!!, hedwig and the angry inch, monster, into the wild, my life without me, lost in translation, amelie, the little mermaid, adaptation, eternal sunshine of the spotless mind, me, you, and everyone we know, born into brothels, i heart huckabees, waking life, punch-drunk love, anchorman, pulp fiction, magnolia, run lola run, american beauty, the science of sleep, before sunrise, before sunset, borat, garden state, 49 up, almost famous, napoleon dynamite, memento, annie hall, hotel rwanda, billy elliot, stranger than fiction, little miss sunshine!!!, knocked up, the lives of others, the dead girl.
Television
californication, lost, weeds, arrested development. my shamelessly favorite show that kept me sane in bulgaria: alias.
Books
all-time: harry fucking potter; truth & beauty (ann patchett); the center of winter (marya hornbacher); the bell jar (sylvia plath); extremely loud & incredibly close (jonathan safran foer); beloved (toni morrison); book of disquietude (fernando pessoa); eiger dreams (jon krakauer); the color purple (alice walker); the alchemist (paulo coelho); tuck everlasting (natalie babbitt); fairy tales; one hundred years of solitude (gabriel garcia marquez); interpreter of maladies and the namesake (jhumpa lahiri); ariel (sylvia plath); the wind-up bird chronicle (haruki murakami); you remind me of me and among the missing (dan chaon); succulent wild woman (SARK); middlesex (jeffrey eugenides); i am charlotte simmons (tom wolfe); you are not a stranger here (adam haslett); all moosewood cookbooks (mollie katzen); all roald dahl; we wish to inform you that tomorrow we will be killed with our families (philip gourevitch); the history of love (nicole krauss); skinny bitch (rory freedman and kim barnouin); autobiography of a face (lucy grealy); and earth from above (yann arthus-bertrand).
jenn meleana's Details
Status:
In a Relationship
Here for:
Friends
Hometown:
Honolulu
Body type:
5' 3" / Athletic
Ethnicity:
Other
Religion:
Atheist
Zodiac Sign:
Virgo
Children:
I don't want kids
Occupation:
Veganish Cook/Writer
jenn meleana's Schools
Harvard University
Cambridge, MA
Graduated: 2000
Student status: Alumni
Degree: Bachelor's Degree
Major: Psychology
1997 to 2000
Iolani School
Honolulu, HI
Graduated: 1997
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: I was in the band.
1990 to 1997
jenn meleana's Companies
Peace Corps Dupnitza, Bulgaria US Youth Development Volunteer
August 2004-January 2007
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About me: Last New Year’s I was in Bulgaria, in bed by 10, force-spooning Matilda, both of us as close as possible to the space heater without risking accidental immolation, both of us drifting, waking, drifting to fireworks shaking intermittent street and sky corners.
It was me and Mati versus Bulgaria.
I missed Ryan.
Missed is such a little word.
America was my foreign country.
This New Year’s I was in Amsterdam, with Ryan, two bodies compacted by a mass of millions in Dam Square’s midnight revelry. It was a one-night war, complete with fires, bombs, hookers, and the innocent deaths of women and children.
It was every drunk man versus himself.
I held onto Ryan for dear life. He held me back.
We’d survived a year. A Myspace love story turned exciting social experiment turned normal/dysfunctional relationship turned dream turned blog turned best experience of my life.
You can hate me. Ryan gave me all of 07 to find myself. I could read, write, wander and sleep all day. He loved my bitch as much as I love my bitch. He let us live in an orange, blue, green, red walled wonderland. He ate my veggie dishes and said they were “surprisingly edible.” He showed me my favorite movies I’d never seen. He let me binge shop on Amazon, filling our walls with all the words we’d get to. He took my friends out for phenomenal wine-drenched meals. He let me out of my one woman Panopticon. In 07, Ryan brought me back from Bulgaria, took me to Hawaii, Chicago, Boston, Maryland, Milwaukee, Montana, Idaho, Seattle, all roads in between. And then the place of all places: Amsterdam.
We are on our way, we are still going, we are there.
He showed me a better way of living.
Less berate self, more destroy all concept of self.
Less wallow, more woo hoo.
Less less, more more.
He was patient with me. Last year I became an Olympic-level javelin throwerist of raw emotion. The world was my Target logo. I contained myself in Bulgaria, for two and a half years building my arsenal of injustices, of things I Couldn’t Change, of terrible voices in my head, all of which spoke Bulgarian. I misinterpreted. I needed my own translator. I came back home, a weapon of mass self-destruction. I hurled everything back at the world, which was me, which was everyone, which was Ryan holding my hands and saying: shh.
I don’t do shh.
I know, that’s why I’m telling you to shh.
Today, January 22, 2008, I live in Seattle, and by live, I mean I have paused here, a parenthesis in time, a place between places.
Today, I’ve been thinking about how we are always looking back, judging ourselves using a biased scoring system that offers points for where you are now in comparison to where you’ve been, judging you now against the hypothetical you tomorrow, where you’ve perhaps reached, or surpassed, your potential.
But what is potential, and who gave it to me? Who set the bar? Who keeps raising it? Is it my own bastard left hand? Is it my parents? Friends and their tacit employment that says, I may hate my life but at least I have a fantastic benefits package! What’s fantastic?
Why does everyone think carpe diem was so last year?
I don’t know many people living up to their potential.
Did 50 cent surpass his?
I don’t know him.
Will we know when we are there? Frolicking in Fulfilled Potential Land?
Ryan says I am an amazing person waiting to happen.
Who’s in front of me?
Why she taking so long?
Ryan says we should always dance in line. Then we’re not waiting, we’re dancing.
I’ll be so caught up in my running-man-cabbage-patch combo that all lines will disappear. Lines I’ve drawn between myself and everyone else, a chalk outline against the sky. I’m alive, I’m alive, watch me as I do the hustle.
Most people I know are heading toward their potential, as though it is at the end of a one way staircase you have to climb while rolling a well-greased boulder that’s been chiseled into the shape of a rhombus. Every year, you flip yourself over to your side, put in your time, pay your dues, earn your equity, get promoted to slave sr., and then get excited when you’re named slave sr. of the month.
I just have a short attention span, sometimes I
All I really want to do with my life is write about it.
I used to pencil Writer of self-absorbed non-fiction in the form of freely associated ramblings into the career multiple choice every few years. Now I’m engraving it.
So here I am in 08, standing on the sidelines of my life--I see everything, I hear Ryan singing Janet Jackson into Sting into Sade. It’s Saturday morning in Seattle, I’m warmed up, there are fleece vest wearers playing frisbee at the park across the street, all wearing some combination of the colors earth green, grey, black and khaki. One city, so many shades of khaki. We’ve decide they’re gay, a gay Saturday morning Seattle Frisbee club. Ryan’s been standing at the bay window with his balls out to see if anyone looks and reveals themselves as gay.
This is Saturday morning.
Some days I play, sliding into home naked on a yellow-yellow slip and slide, traveling with the ball and getting away with it, leaping off the high board and busting out inanimate object poses all the way down.
Lampshade
spigot
and the always challenging egg carton.
I am not here to race.
Still, I run and I am every run: I am 20 listening to Dar Williams, Tori Amos, Dave Matthews Band, Tom Petty on my mixed tape learning to jog along the Charles River; I am 21 along Mission Bay, Michelle Branch in my Discman, past mast after mast lining the shore, a row of stiff necks, leaning with the wind; I am 24 running with Dr. Boyfriend, looping Hawaii Kai Drive the night before I leave our life and begin mine; I am 26, on hour three of marathon training, chasing horse carts in the early morning white of Bulgaria to Smack my, passing them with Bitch up; I am 27, chasing Mati in empty Dupnitza hills, iPod shuffling drum and bass, Outkast, Natasha Bedingfield, Britney, Nelly Furtado, N.E.R.D; I am 28, along the Schuylkill, sprinting into the sun down wonder of my new life, Ryan. Ryan, waiting for me at the art museum to hand me water, an apple. To take me home.
Every step I have taken, I have taken.
Different shoes, same legs.
I write about my life because it is what I know most and least.
Today, I am beading my memories, gently dropping my little yesterdays onto an invisible string of identity, random patterns: red I am in love, black I am down, blue I can’t, white I am new, lavender I am dream, red, red, red, lavender, black, blueblackblue, white. I'll wear this everywhere--a friendship bracelet, a lucky charm, something beautiful to pass onto myself when I’m gone.
This year, I will write about what I love.
And I love.
I love homemade meals with friends, wine, laughter, silliness over politics, books over bestsellers, tofu over non-tofu, dancing to 80s music over sitting to 80s music, bros before hos, my bitch over your bitch, climbing over hiking, Myspace over Facebook, outdoor markets over supermarkets, cluttered used book stores over over-lit chains that charge for wireless with books on weight loss and financial planning at the front door.
I love coffeshop marathons. Soy cappuccino with cinnamon is my new soy chai.
I love new old friends, old new friends, people I have everything or nothing in common with. I love waking Ryan up in the middle of the night with my hysterical laugher, as I read Steve Martin or Woody Allen or Ryan Matsumoto. I love laughter over the universal hand gesture for I’m going to vomit.
I love believing in other people. I love believing in other people believing in me.
I love Ryan asking if I want to watch a movie at night and then falling asleep five minutes in. Or, on a good night, six minutes.
I love sake bombs.
I love when I’m mixing veggie burgers from scratch as Ryan’s ground cow lump sizzles and bleeds, and he looks over my shoulder at my wholesome goodness and says, “God, that looks disgusting.”
I love that my sister lets me use her as material for my demented humor.
I love greeting cards as short stories.
I love the art of my friends.
I love the patient, bottomless sustenance from my parents.
I love thumb-holes in long-sleeved thermal shirts.
I love I love lists.
I love having more favorites than I could ever list.
I love I am chains.
I am nobody. I am ambien. I am on both sides of the mirror. I am through the looking glass. I am third person plural. I am Saturn returning. I am mantra. I am mantra. I am palm, I am reader. I am mispronounced French word. I am mise en place. I am standing on the edge of the sky. I am tag, I am it. I am rubber, I am glue. I am countdown. I am channeling. I am cable access. I am Lifetime movie. I am remote. I am control.
Jenn: Haven't heard from you in a while and thought i'd drop you a quick comment. Things have been good for me up here in Washington. I'm currently enrolled for fall sememster and will be attending a local college near by. If all goes as planned I should be done with school by Winter, later this year. Howz things going for you and the rest of the family these days? Well, have a most excellent and be sure to keep me up-to-date with the latest developments in your neck of the woods. God bless and another good website to check out is also www. maytheforcebewithyou. com lol =P
hey jenn happy birthday!!! i believe you stole that profile pic from me, but that's ok. ;) haven't seen you guys since you moved back but i'm sure i will soon. peace.
go jenn! you rock! well you're climbing the rock, but i'm talking about you. meanwhile, i'm eating at every buffet in d.c. and vegas...i need you to start kicking my okole again.
YEAH =) YOU ARE MY BUDDY!!!! So nice seeing you again after soooooooooooooooooooooooo long. Now its time to plan you TK return. YOU WILL INSTRUCT AGAIN...hope to see ya in class again soon so I can put you on stage for the RD34 TURBO baybeeeeee!
Thank you for the comisseration. A good night's sleep will probably help quite a bit. Dunno about First Thursdays. One really late night is generally enough for a week. But I was planning on going before this anti-Christian guy threw a wrench into the week. So I may see you there. Which would be awesome.
did you go rock climbing this past weekend? how was it? i would love to go the next time you go. i did the hike and fortunately survived. it was brutal but oh so beautiful too. i did not lick the pavement when i was done, but i did lie in the grass and roll around, so happy to be on flat land again.
i still havent seen you...but then again, i'm frequently tired from work, or escaping the islands to relieve stress from my job (augh). i hope to have you kick my okole again soon :D
oh my. now i'm even more scared! thanks jenn. yeah... i'm going to do it this saturday, it's on my 30 before 30 list and i'm antsy to cross something off. if i survive, i would love to go climbing with you another time though, and thank you for the invite. i also might make it next tues to bbk and cross another thing off my list. maybe. damn list!
Hey Jenn! It was soooo nice to see you! You don't even know how long I've been waiting for you to come back and teach again! I owe it all to you! My hand was literally shaking knowing that you were in class....you are an amazing person and unreal TKB instructor!!! Can't wait to take your class! Welcome back again.
JENN! You're in like Flynn. Just give us a call when you're back in Hawaii. We go have outdoorsy fun. Then Kimi can spear us a fish for dinner and make another cover for Hawaii Skin Diver Magazine. ...by the way, can you teach me how to rock climb?
Check this halarious video out. For whatever reason it had me rolling on the floor and down the steps.
I trust things are going well for you these days. Let me know when you get the chance what you've been up too. As for me, I am finishing up school and working part-time at a near by Veterans Readjustment CNTR. Have a good one and don't forget to keep in touch. Peace!
oh yay! for both the move and tkb lol. where i lived there, there was only bally's. anyhow i don't believe that you died since you're busy running marathons and climbing all over the world...oh and only eating power vegan food and what not. hope you decide to teach again!
