Born in the seedy immigrant outskirts of Paris, Jenny C'est Quoi grew up the adopted daughter of an Algerian champion
strongman and his Burgandian lover. Though not wealthy, her fathers gave her a proper eductation and trained her by
night in Arabic, Gaullian texts, and the home production of single-malt Scotch whiskey (for every modern European woman
should be well-versed in traditional spirit making).
Despite her fathers' care and precision, however, Jenny was, after all, an adopted child. Her natural affinity for
crooks, hookers, and politicians led her to the streets by the age of thirteen. Living as a pickpocket (and briefly as
a one-woman-band), she learned to con men by charming them with her dark features and extensive knowledge of world cultures,
muscle stretching, letterpressing, phrenology, canine husbandry, egg poaching, whale poaching, football coaching, tornadoes,
wax, blankets, radio waves, ancient mariner lore, alloys, teeth, and port.
Of course, she often knew nothing of these subjects.
And so it went that she swindled hundreds of Parisian men by beautiful lies and just the right amount of exposed white flesh.
She spent three semesters at the Sorbonne studying what most university students study--drinking to excess and finding
oneself in strange neighborhoods without ones underpants. She left most abruptly, though, upon having slipped into a
pair of such underpants a calling card with the initials SGDN embossed in black. Le Secrétariat Général de la Défense
Nationale had been watching Mme C'est Quoi for six years before seizing the opportunity to bring her into the agency.
She endured three years of training in advanced intelligence gathering techniques (the French tortur) and disguise.
Upon finally being released on her first mission to Soviet Afghanistan, Jenny was instantly shot in the back by an impassioned
Mujahid who took her for his third wife and brought back to recover in Paris.
As if the shame of failing her first assignment weren't enough, the accident left C'est Quoi in a two-month coma.
She awoke suddenly on November 5th, 1979 screaming for a cigarette, a pot of rouge, and a first-edition copy of
Asterix and the Golden Sickle. After the shocked nurses had retreived the requested items she asked again.
It was then that C'est Quoi's infamous short-term-memory-loss began to show.
Though now retired, Mme. C'est Quoi reentered the service of the SGDN and rose to become a high-ranking agent, winning
a purple fleur-de-lis for her service during Iran Contra and the lesser-known Swazi-Namibian nuclear race. Her career,
though, was not without controversy. Most notably, she was recorded munching on dog biscuits while meeting with
Margaret Thatcher, to whom she consistently and publically referred as "ma grosse tante androgyne." C'est Quoi left
government service in 1994 for a quiet life in the Amsterdam vice districts. A year later, she disappeared, leaving
her passport and a case of exquisite, 25-year-aged whiskey in her suite.
Mme. C'est Quoi has occasionally reappeared over the past 13 years in dark nightclubs around the world, charming
strangers with her practiced wit, toned physique, and remarkable social gaffes.
