Cigarette lighters with pictures of dogs on them, giving people cigarette lighters with pictures of dogs on them, crosswords and Sudoku puzzles, playing guitars with missing strings, Wrongtown, giant novelty cheques from Deal Or No Deal, teaching the masses the joys of Michael Bolton, train trips, Ballarat, telling people they have nice tits in flawless Norwegian, long walks, interpretive dance (especially to Celine Dion’s "It's All Coming Back To Me Now"), being a Pisces, all things trivial, the ever exciting world of profanities, dining at A Minor Affair, calling A Minor Place ‘A Minor Affair', and... whatever it is you're into. I want us to be closer, or at the very least touch each other inappropriately from time to time.
Music
Currently dominating my headphones... N.W.A, Pixies, Siobhan Donaghy, Kings Of Leon, New Order, Custard, Wilco, Lloyd Cole, Bobbie Gentry, Sam Cooke, Four Hours Sleep, Cyndi Lauper, Patrick Wolf, Big Country, TV On The Radio, The Killers, Dusty Springfield, The Drones, Fionn Regan, Pavement, Belinda Carlisle, Kate Bush, Amy Winehouse, Arcade Fire, Billy Bragg, Dolly Parton, Yeah Yeah Yeahs, Blur, ELO, Spencer P Jones, The Go-Betweens and The Triffids.
Movies
Mean Girls, Waiting For Guffman, Jude, Beyond The Valley Of The Dolls, BMX Bandits, Gia, Meatloaf: To Hell And Back, The Royal Tennenbaums, Ordinary People, School Of Rock, Best In Show, Once Were Warriors, The Ladies Man, Freeway, American Movie, Josie and The Pussycats, Far From Heaven, Happiness, The Opposite Of Sex, Brokeback Mountain, Thumbsucker, Closer, Traffic, and as of last night THE CAMRYN MANHEIM PRODUCED RIB-TICKLER-WITH-HEART "KISS MY ACT"...
Television
Lots of things, I suppose. But mostly the Anthony Robbins infomercials which are shown during the wee hours of the night.
"You changed my life, Tony." "No, YOU changed your life." "No, it was you, Tony." "Maybe I was a good rudder... and you were a ship. And I got you to the water, and YOU found who YOU are." "Oh Tony." "Oh, you." (a lone tear streaks down Tony's chiselled, handsome face)
Books
Why are you going on and on about this, questioning me everywhere I turn! Do I look stupid to you, MySpazz? Do you think I just read NW Magazine and that's it?
I'll have you know I am well versed in many of Enid Blyton's lesser known and much darker works, including Five Pack Rape at Billycock Hill, The Naughtiest Girl Finds A Crack Pipe and The Foreign Girl At St Clares Is Ostracised By Her Classmates Resulting In A Long Term Tendency To Self-Harm And A Highly Destructive Sexual Relationship With Her Lacrosse Coach.
And you people think me literarily retarded. Pfft! PFFFT I SAY!
Heroes
Tina Fey, Kate Bush, Neil Finn, Dolly Parton, Belinda Carlisle, Ignatius J Reilly.
"Talent" is a strong word and one which probably isn't all that apt. I do get to play Phil Collins on RRR and make wanking sounds into a microphone on a weekly basis though. ARE YOU JEALOUS?
I am the driving force behind a fashion movement in Melbourne known as HOBO. Long dresses with holes in them, stolen shirts with stains on the front, jackets with elbows showing through torn denim. Basically I'm Mary-Kate Olsen without the millions..
My ridiculously attractive left little toe doesn't get out of its stinky Converse home for less than ten thousand dollars a day. Parts model... ARF! Seriously, have you guys played around with this networking feature? IT IS GENIUS.
Jess's Companies
So You're A Clever Cunt? Rock & Pop Culture Trivia Melbourne, VIC AU Vandal-Like Rocking Of Microphone. Drinking..Smoking..Question Asking..Appalling Impersonation Sector.
Defamer Australia The Interwebs, AU
Jess rings like a bell through the night, and wouldn't you love to love her? Posted at 5:34 AM Sep 24 view more
About me: MY BRAIN IS FULL OF HOLES ONLY LOVE AND SLEEP CAN FILL.
**********
My name is Jessamie Muyiwa Ige i am the first son of late chief judge of federal republic of nigeria. About a year ago my father was killed by unknow hired assasin.a lot of investigation still going on about the issue.My father left sum of huge amount of money behind which up to $30 million US dolloars precisely.Now i am in need of your assistance as a foreigner to be partner with so the money will be safe keeping by you for a while before i can come over for disbursement of the fund. Either percentage or consultancy fee shall be negociate after you migth have accept my proposal,because presently i am unable to travell out of country due to presureamount on our family.I shall wait for your positive respond.
Jessamie Muyiwa Ige
I just stumbled across the following description of a sorority sister on an American college website and I've decided I want to pinch it and use it for my own little "About Me" section on MySpace.
As a prospective sexuality and society concentrator who wants to be a spy when she grows up, this girl does not get boring.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS BUT I LOVE IT! CAN I GET BUSINESS CARDS CLAIMING TO BE A PROSPECTIVE SEXUALITY AND SOCIETY CONCENTRATOR? WHAT THE FUCK? MY HEAD IS EXPLODING WITH CONFUSED JOY! U-S-A! U-S-A!
It is genius and I won't hear a word against my Alpha Chi Tent Delta Goodrem Feng Shui Tango And Cash sisters.
*********
I am known to fall over from time to time. I can be quite charming but prefer to dazzle with my potty mouth. Charity workers offer me spare change. You can too, if you like. I'm hungry.
I am trying to quit smoking. It is hell, and you lot need to know about it and pity me appropriately. It is really fucking sad when you realise you are a slave to your vices (see also Povich, M; Dion, C and Dolls, Goo Goo. I AM KIDDING ABOUT THAT LAST ONE)
Who I'd like to meet: The milkman who "delivered" his "wares" in a small northern NSW town circa mid-1980.
And you, if you come along to trivia at The East Brunswick Club on Tuesday nights. Doesn't suit? Pssshaw. Just turn up to The Corner on a Wednesday and we'll hold each other gently and talk of "feelings".
Truth be told, the more of you who turn up, the more money I have to spend on drugs and whores. I'm willing to share too, fuck-o.
Angie releases her second solo album 'Eat My Shadow' in Australia tomorrow!
We have a very special deal for you all, JB Hi-Fi are offering a SIGNED, TWO DISC edition of Angie's album.
The
first disc contains the full 12 track album, the second disc contains a
5 track EP of Angie covering some of her favourite songs, including
tracks by The Smiths, Australian Crawl, Laura Veirs and others.
On top of that we're offering a beautiful Angie Hart tea-towel (dishcloth to you Americans!) as part of the deal. Be quick!
Angie releases her second solo album 'Eat My Shadow' in Australia tomorrow!
We have a very special deal for you all, JB Hi-Fi are offering a SIGNED, TWO DISC edition of Angie's album.
The
first disc contains the full 12 track album, the second disc contains a
5 track EP of Angie covering some of her favourite songs, including
tracks by The Smiths, Australian Crawl, Laura Veirs and others.
On top of that we're offering a beautiful Angie Hart tea-towel (dishcloth to you Americans!) as part of the deal. Be quick!
Angie releases her second solo album 'Eat My Shadow' in Australia tomorrow!
We have a very special deal for you all, JB Hi-Fi are offering a SIGNED, TWO DISC edition of Angie's album.
The
first disc contains the full 12 track album, the second disc contains a
5 track EP of Angie covering some of her favourite songs, including
tracks by The Smiths, Australian Crawl, Laura Veirs and others.
On top of that we're offering a beautiful Angie Hart tea-towel (dishcloth to you Americans!) as part of the deal. Be quick!
Angie releases her second solo album 'Eat My Shadow' in Australia tomorrow!
We have a very special deal for you all, JB Hi-Fi are offering a SIGNED, TWO DISC edition of Angie's album.
The
first disc contains the full 12 track album, the second disc contains a
5 track EP of Angie covering some of her favourite songs, including
tracks by The Smiths, Australian Crawl, Laura Veirs and others.
On top of that we're offering a beautiful Angie Hart tea-towel (dishcloth to you Americans!) as part of the deal. Be quick!
Angie releases her second solo album 'Eat My Shadow' in Australia tomorrow!
We have a very special deal for you all, JB Hi-Fi are offering a SIGNED, TWO DISC edition of Angie's album.
The
first disc contains the full 12 track album, the second disc contains a
5 track EP of Angie covering some of her favourite songs, including
tracks by The Smiths, Australian Crawl, Laura Veirs and others.
On top of that we're offering a beautiful Angie Hart tea-towel (dishcloth to you Americans!) as part of the deal. Be quick!
ta for the rave missy and the beard references. it has a life of its own. tonight it wants to go drinking and i just want to sleep. that's my excuse anyhow.
Dinkibike are coming to Victoria for the first time ever next Saturday It would be great to see lots of pretty Melbournian faces there for the show. Please come along and support Dinkibike and YOUR locals Tell your friends and Bring them along Thanks DINKIBIKE
Nice lookin mutt, kinda a cross between both of ours....& be great to have a beer with you tonight if you may be considerin' the ponyface gig @ The Evelyn x x
Ahoy! I am on facebook... Under tigermei.. but I think if you search Larissa Rainford I should be under that. Not sure! ha. So, I'll be expecting you :)
