To the Spanish speaking world, Jesse Chapman became internationally famous with his hit rendition of Serious Spanish Dance – mimicking some of the most influential Spanish dancers of today. While that’s a complete lie, it’s true that he’s never once had a real Mexican friend (though some have come close). All in all, Jesse’s really only seen with white people. And by that we mean himself.
Born in Taylorsville, North Carolinia and later raised in the quant village of Palm Coast, Florida, Jesse James Chapman grew up surrounded by nuns, cocktails, and preachers – all of which applauded his early efforts to walk, talk, and chew gum at the same time. When Jesse entered high school and took up theater as a hobby, his drama teacher, Mary-Lou Beale, was impressed with how much “personality” Jesse had. “He can’t stop talking,” Mary-Lou stated. “I tell him to shut the hell up so we can keep rehearsing,” she continued. “Life would be easier if that bastard just kicked the bucket.”
Jesse was accepted into the University of Central Florida’s BA acting track. Unimpressed with the talent surrounding him, Jesse opted out of the program to peruse a major in film production. Combining his impressive talents and natural charisma, Jesse managed to steer clear of making friends with anyone in the film program for at least three months. Damn that Shannon.
While in Orlando in the fall of 2006, Jesse redesigned his personal homepage to better suit the audience he desires. Some said that it was only a matter of time until he registered for his very own MySpace. “I’ll never get a MySpace,” Jesse said while being robbed by a black man. “My friend’s can’t make me get one, and neither can you. Oh, and there’s not much money left on the Capital One. Wait until next week after I’ve paid it off.”
His friends couldn’t make him register. Neither could a black man. But that all changed once Jesse realized that he could touch the hearts of millions if he created a MySpace to make fun of MySpace. All he needed was a catchy tune and someone doing back-up vocals that had only one condition – “I’ll only sing your back-up vocals if you create a MySpace,” said Danny Byerley. “If you don’t, I’ll hunt you down and kill you.”
And so, here we are. Jesse is currently at work on many wonderful projects. Jesse is currently in his second to last year in the film program. "Next year will be very difficult," he says. "Might as well drop out."
Wow, you have a message from Bianca! I just wanted to let you know that since you're living so far away and so busy, Tom is higher on my list. We've become very close. He won't take me to Hawaii though, so there's hope. Love you!!!
What's up, Jess? Thanks for finding me... thought you were a facebooker, but glad to see you on Myspace. You're hilarious and deep and creative... what a perfect combo! Can't wait to see what else you make...
P.S. Called you yesterday and a foreign woman named Isabelle picked up and took about 2 minutes to tell me that you had changed numbers...so I got it from Tyler :) haha
Jim Gaffigan is coming to Hard Rock on the 31st...
Well I surely don't see anything that says "Post a comment about Jesse" but maybe that's because I can't read. I also never expected in a million years for my profile to be graced with a comment from Jesse Chapman, since you never log in and all.
AHHH i love you. I dont have any service, so my phone wont work. I'm gonna try calling you again tomorrow because its rainy and nasty out and i dont feel like standing in the rain to get a little service.
CINGULAR IS NOT UPPING THE BARRR
