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The 60 Things We Learned From Super Troopers:
1. nobody owns the water, it's gods water.
2. farva thinks powdered sugar is delicious
3. fast food resturants don't make liters of cola
4. they make bullet proof cups
5. state cops like to chug syrup
6. You must have a moustache to be taken seriously
7. All Germans are bi-sexual
8. If you get pulled over by the cops, don't eat your drug stash.
9. Don't say "shenanigans" or you will get pistol whipped.
10. the snozzberries taste like snozzberries
11. someone has to let you out of the back of a police cruiser
12. sort for recycling
13. cops hide keys to impounds under rocks
14. lice hate the sugar
15. you can masturbate at speeds exceeding 50 MPH
16. I've got a two-by-four!
17. You ARE Freakin' out man.
18. Bears do more than poop in the woods.
19. "knock-off" Afghani cartoons are funny when high.
20. There are people that will lock you in a locker and spray you with shaving cream
21. Some cops can't drive sticks...
22. Soap doesn't dissolve well in coffee.
23. If you start hanging out with highway cops they show you the funny
24. Mustache rides are enjoyed by men and women alike.
25. You can drive to Canada from Vermont.
26. You can drive to Mexico from Vermont.
27. Ramathorn is not a hispanic surname.
28. You can lose a buck... to yourself.
29. You can buy a car with wings for 10 million dollars... or the Cleveland Cavaliers.
30. Fast food restaurant employees will make a cop's burger extra good.
31. Don't order hashbrowns
32. Apparently "spread it on" is a good thing to shout w/ a gun in your arms
33. Cassette tapes catch fire really easily.
34. People can get pulled over for littering and...littering and...littering and...smoking the reefer.
35. If you are looking for some weed, go have sex in an RV at the police impound.
36. Its brown magic, not black magic
37. You can chug beer out of a megaphone and it'll still work
38. The captain will believe that when his sh!t turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbert
39. charlie chimpo runs the cartoon network whorehouse
40. you can dimpa-size your meal for 25 cents more but have your face puncha-sized for free
41. When the locals solve a murder, its called routine police work.
42. Theres no weapons in the car. but there are flares. and some string.
43. Local cops use coasters. Highway patrols just put the cup on the table.
44. They could have made a stinky igloo.
45. If you eat your buddy's dope to escape arrest you have to reimburse him.
46. Liter is French for gimme some *beep* cola!
47. German's translate Afgani speak fluently.
48. Mac's cruiser weighs 16,000 Killigrams
49. Car RAM-ROD is a really stupid car name
50. Black magic only works on the rookie
51. Don't worry about the 'little guy'
52. the state of vermont only has 6 state troopers
53. You do what ever it takes to get a free hotdog.
54. John Denver stole Charlie Rich's second Country Artist Of The Year Award.
55. Putting a girl's name on a blow-up doll is almost the same thing
56. O'Hagen is a two-time Navy Boxing champion.
57. He's also drunk enough to kick your ass.
58. Denim is the Canadian tuxedo.
59. The speed limit is 65...even if they were going 63
60. That's all for meow...
Music
Metallica, Slayer, Pantera, Led Zeppelin, Megadeth, Foo Fighters, Poison, Scorpions, AC/DC, Motley Crue, Alice in Chains, Nirvana, Beastie Boys, Ozzy/Black Sabbath, Rob Zombie, Fear Factory, Iron Maiden, Killswitch Engage, and anything else thats hard and fast.
Movies
Friday Night Lights, American History X, Fight Club, Snatch, EuroTrip, The Last Samurai, Lord of the Rings trilogy, Dog Soldiers, Out Cold, The Hunted, Platoon, Office Space, Braveheart, Gladiator, Troy, 300, Dumb and Dumber, Tommy Boy, Super Troopers, Sin City, and other movies.
Television
Don't watch a whole lot of TV anymore, aside from sports.
Heroes
Shane Churla, Basil McRae, Mark Tinordi, Scott Stevens, Bob Probert and Stu Grimson
About me: Basic stuff... Name is Josh. Right now, I'm sporting a mowhawk, as many know as a hair style. Pending on how often I want to shave, I usually keep a goat, otherwise, its clean cut or, well, the opposite of clean cut. What else... I moved back to Minny after spending most of 08 in Colorado. Had a blast with my buds out there, and even managed to accomplish some work while I was out there. I don't know what else. Just ask.
I love sports. I'm extremely athletic, and love to be active. Hockey, football, lacrosse, mixed martial arts and baseball are either sports I'm in or actively watch/follow. I love working out, running and anything of that nature.
Also love to just hang out at home and watch movies, or invite friends over and watch sporting events or movies with them.
Who I'd like to meet: The guys from the Wild - Brent Burns, Nick Schultz, Pierre-Marc Bouchard, Wes Walz, Stephane Veilleux, Cal Clutterbuck, Craig Weller, Matt Foy, John Scott, James Sheppard, Mikko Koivu, Owen Nolan and Josh Harding.
Bob Probert, Stu Grimson, Dave Brown, Joey Kocur, Jim McKenzie, Joe Sakic, Brendan Witt, Kyle McLaren, Arron Asham, Eric Godard, Eric Cairns, Cam Neely, Steve Yzerman, Jody Shelley, Brendan Shanahan, Sheldon Souray, Mike Komisarek, Chris Pronger, Matt Barnaby, Brian McGrattan, Scott Stevens, Jim Vandermeer, and Josh Gratton.
Brian Urlacher, Mike Alstott, Shawne Merriman, John Lynch, Darren Sharper, Carson Palmer, Jason Taylor, Zach Thomas, Dan Morgan, Chad Greenway, Brian Dawkins, Jack Lambert, Mike Ditka, Derrick Thomas, Derrick Brooks, and Matt Birk.
Johan Santana, Justin Morneau, Joe Nathan, Brad Radke, and Joe Mauer.
Hey! I'm good here. Just busy workin like usual and trying to have some fun on the weekends when I get a chance. How's the ankle doing? I still need to see the pup ya know :)
Gosh you are such a smartass to me!! But yeah...I think..wait..I'm pretty sure I know how you hurt yourself. You gotta stop doing that...it's not good for you!
MEN have 2 heads and WOMEN have 4 lips The American Dental Association says semen cuts plaque and tartar by 77%. Suck a dick and save a smile...
* If u have sex 365 times a yr and u melted down all da condoms 2 make a tire what would u call it? a fuckin goodyear!
* Sex is like playing spades. If u don't have a good partner, u better have a good hand.
Big Bad Wolf told lil red riding hood lift ur top so i can suck ur tits. no, she said while lifting her skirt, eat me like the fuckin book says!
* A rooster and a cat were playing by the pool. the cat fell in and the rooster laughed. The cat said, a wet pussy always makes a cock happy!
Girls have unique magic tricks, they get wet without water, bleed without injury, and make boneless things hard.
Send 2 10 freaks in 30 mins. or u will have bad sex. You're it! This is the sexy train, if u receive this it means ur fucking sexy if u get it back you're even sexier.
Merry Christmas to you Kidd!! Miss you a shit ton... We all do. Listen though, I'm gonna be in MPLS tomorrow night. Gonna go to a show at the Cabooze and then hang out for the night. You should meet up with us at some point! I let Trevor know too and am gonna get in touch with him tomorrow. But I dropped my phone in the tub today and now it's not working, so you should send me your number and I'll call you on my way down to the cities. I'd love to see you before I head back to CO!
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