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I'm an extremely organized maniacal mess. A big social-faking introvert. A thinker/writer who pulls up one thought and finds the entire world attached to it--making it impossible to write or talk. So I make music which somehow is able to say it all. Multiple instruments at one time can get it all said in 3.5 minutes. Amazing.
Where do you start? With the move to Nashville after a serendipitous relocation check hit the mailbox since they were tearing down our apartment complex to make a condo? Or did it start when we left West Texas when the planned move to Austin turned into a move to Los Angeles? Or did it start with the first regular gig at the CoffeeHaus across from Texas Tech that turned into 2 friends saying, “hey can we play with you and make this a band?!” which turned into an album. That was the start of it for sure. Or do you start before that with the Albuquerque college coffee house gigs playing to the track team in the audience--gigs that got started by a half stranger named Anthony who I think might have been an angel? That was the start, don’t you think? Or do you start with my friend who—when I was writing music for her lyrics—found some lyrics, made me sing them to her and helped me finish the song that was played a month later for a weird little talent show of all things? That was probably it. Or the multi-tracked tapes I was making in my bedroom at 12 using two crappy cassette recorders and a tiny Yamaha keyboard? That could be a beginning. Or do you count getting the part of Mary in the 3rd grade musical. Now that was big! Or, yes, it must have started with picking out the theme song to Young and the Restless by ear on the piano at 4. No. It must have been my mother’s Karen Carpenter when I was in the womb. Or the idea of Joni before I was conceived. Now that’s more like it.
Most of us grow up doing the things people clap for, taking the road of least resistance, most applause. We need a place for untangling, redefining, discarding the definitions of others to be replaced with our Maker's. We run from that, because we are afraid--not knowing that what we push way is an amazing gift to us, however scary the process.
I think it's a journey that everyone goes through-- perhaps more gradual or coming later for others, but it's about seeing ourselves in the light... when we didn't even know you were in the dark at all.
After years of home recordings, in making In the Dark I chose songs from the very beginning and all along, keeping them in order (for the most part). They chronicle the journey, the thoughts and ideas that had me pinned, moving in circles, and they chronicle my journey into and out of some of that confusion. A coming out of darkness into the light of truths that freed me to be myself and share my music.
Our official website is sick and taking a long sebatical in cyberspace for a while. For now, here are some links to things of interest:
For a list of song, song lyrics, or the stories behind the songs, go here
more to come...
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