I wrote a book called THE PLEASURE'S ALL MINE: MEMOIR OF A PROFESSIONAL SUBMISSIVE. I wanted it to say "WHO HAS TROUBLE TAKING ORDERS" at the end of the title, but nobody was with me. And by nobody, I mean the publishers. And by with me, I mean appreciative enough of my fantastic ideas.
The book got a brief burst of publicity when it came out in early 2006, culminating in a one week stint on the San Francisco Chronicle bestseller list, a blurb on the New York Post's Page Six, and a one-off sponsorship deal with a maker of female orgasm enhancement cream. Hold your applause - business also dropped off as soon as the book came out, and I was finally forced to find other employment.
You can start clapping again - I'm unexpectedly happy in my straight job now, and I'm writing another book that can't possibly ruin my current career.
I'm also a comedy groupie, or I guess I should say a hanger-on, since I think groupies get sex out of the deal. I get backstage access at the UCB theater and unexpected opportunities to gaze lovingly at Brody Stevens.
P.S. Please don't post advertisements for yourselves in my comments section, it aggravates me. Putting a tiny font generic happy birthday greeting on your advertisement and posting it in my comments section is putting an advertisement in my comments section, people. For fuck's sake already.
P.P.S. I have a physical condition where I get spasms that cause me to hit the "delete from friends" button when people send me chain-letter messages or post them to the bulletin board.
P.S.S. I put bisexual as my orientation because I don't know what the fuck anymore, when it comes to sex and dating. I should have put "cranky about it," but that wasn't an option for that field.
