What's happening beautiful people? Its Monday and its a beautiful day to be alive. I had a great weekend in Vegas. Then returned home yesterday and hung out with my wife at a great gay bar for the Superbowl. Before you have a cow over my previous statement, let me explain. I've lived in North Hollywood for 11 months now, two blocks from my house, there's a liquor store that sells YooHoo. I stop there once a week. While I'm there I always notice people smoking outside and the place always has people in it. I always try to take a peek but get scared and get in my car. As I drive away I always think that some day I'll get the balls and go in there. Yesterday was that day. When I got home from Vegas I took a nap, that acid before the fight wore me out. I woke up at 3pm and asked my wife if she wanted to go, she said yes so I washed my monkey and we walked up there. When we walked in the place was dark and there was just guys. There was a huge spread, hot dogs, sandwiches, cakes but what was great was they were having a chili cook off. I heard this guy say something with a gay voice but thought the guy was joking when I looked he was hugging another guy. I looked around and noticed that all these guys were gay. I thought it was great! For once I really felt like the true king of the cocksuckers. My wife and I got into a conversation with two guys that had been together for thirty years! Thirty years can you believe that? One guy was a city worker and the other a retired mailman. The funny thing was they looked like regular guys and acted like regular guys and I wouldn't have never have guessed they were gay. It didn't matter to me and its never mattered. I have alot of respect for older gay men because they really started the revolution. How hard was it to be gay in this country lets say 40 years ago? Can you imagine. As they years passed people have mellowed out but I've always had respect for gay men because they believed in something and committed to it, plain and simple. And yes there are fakes out there that flip flop then end up getting married and having 2 kids, hey people make mistakes. The funny thing was that they were big time football fans yelling and screaming after each play, they even had a pool going that paid out like a thousand to the winner. I have to tell you. My wife and I had a great time. They were about to get into a bingo tournament as we were leaving, how cool is that? What I'm trying to say is that you never know where your going to have a great time at. I walked in there thinking it was a regular old school joint, and it turned out to be a great little gay bar. I've been to plenty of gay bars in my day. The best one was "The Ramrod" in New York City, and there was one in Boulder in the old days that was a bar filled with hot women, how gay was it. These were huge dance clubs. The place I went to yesterday was a little bar, more personal, it felt like family and these guys had known each other for years, they were regulars. There own place. It made me feel warm, they let my wife and I in and never said a word. If I was sitting in a bar with my Gorilla friends and a gay guy walked in would I give him the same respect? Food for thought, thats what these experiences are all about. So next time your bored, go to someplace different, out of your comfort zone for me its museums, computer stores or gay bars, see what experience you take from it, it may surprise you. As usual, have a great week and Stay Black! At the end, its all you got!
P.S. I'll be performing in Scottsdale next weekend at The Comedy Spot . Come on down! Much Love!(480) 945 4455
Happy Monday! Sorry I'm late but not really. I got up early and wrote a blog about "Heavy" the reality show but somehow it got erased. The funny thing was that this is the real subject I wanted to talk about so here goes. I don't know if people do this but do you ever go through a certain situation and you think about it, then years later remember the date and realize, you survived it. 21 years ago, I walked out of a halfway house. I remember getting in the car and asking myself if this was my life? Would I be one of those guys that went in and out of the prison system. Well 21 years later the answer is no. I remember exactly what happened that weekend. I got out on a Friday. I went to eat lunch with my wife at the time who happened to be pregnant, We went to a Cajun place in Boulder named Lucille's. After lunch we went home passed out and woke up in the middle of the night when her water broke. I went out side in a snowstorm and warmed up the car while she got dressed and called the Doctor. We got to the hospital and immediately she went into labor and had my only child Jacqueline. I remember thinking about how old I would be when she was 10 then for some reason I thought about how old I would be when she was 21 and what my life would be like and I have to tell you while I sat there daydreaming I never thought I'd be in Los Angeles pursuing a comedy career. I thought by that point in my life, I've my life together because when that baby was born, my life was very far from being together. One thing I have now is that I know exactly where I'm going to be tomorrow at a certain time. 21 years ago I could never tell you about an hour into the future because I always knew jail and death were eminent. Today I don't feel that way. What are you going to arrest me for cursing? An old warrant? I stay out of Warrantville, if you catch my drift. The truth of the matter is that when I was holding that baby in my hand I kept thinking about how I had to change for her, how wrong was I? You change for you. I wasn't ready for her at that time or ten years later, I just wasn't ready. But believe it or not, I'm ready today but now we have no relationship. We both walked away from each other. As you know I'm part of the Beauty And Da Beast Podcast and every week I get emails from kids that are trying to get there shit together and I try to explain that even if you try it takes a long time to get it together but as long as your trying and you know where you stand that makes your life easier. It took me 21 years from that time to get it together but do I really have it together? What I have is the gift of trial and error and even though I fucked up as a father it wasn't a fuck up it was that I just wasn't ready. In the last couple of years, I've reached out to my daughter to try and make it right or at least to get on the track but guess what? Now she's not ready so that's what I get for not being ready! Happy Birthday Jacqueline! Have a drink on me! Its a confusing blog, but I had to write something. Thank you for reading. Have a great week and remember to Stay Black cause that's something you don't need to be ready for, either you are or your not.
IRVINE IMPROV Wednesday February 2nd 8PM! Much Love!!!!!!
Greetings cocksuckers! Sorry about being late. Its been rough the last few days. I shot 5 days on a film, got the flu and then on a 2 day turn around, flew into Tennessee. While we were getting our luggage a snowstorm started and made a 2 hour drive become a 4 hour drive. But hey, I'm not complaining. I've been to Bradford to visit her parents before but it was in the Summer, it totally changes in the Winter. Its the Bible belt which means its a dry county, at night there isn't anything to do. There was some burger, breakfast joint. I went in there the first day and I felt like Joe Pesci in "My Cousin Vinny", they had grits on the menu, I nearly shit. I ordered the eggs and bacon to be safe. The potatoes were burnt like I like them, but the bacon looked like they had just killed the animal in the back, I couldn't eat it. The main purpose of the trip besides seeing her family was watching our niece play hoops. I've known her for a while and keep tabs on her sports careers, she's a great athlete but most important she's smart and pretty and very funny, a quality I love in kids. She's a Freshman on the Varsity team but she got hurt taking a charge in a game last week so she didn't play, but we decided to still go to the homecoming and watch her walk with her flowers and dresses and all the glamour and what not. I couldn't believe it, I didn't even go to my homecoming in all the years I was at school. I played sports and did a thousand school activities growing up but I could never invited my mom, she was too much of an animal. At my first communion she stole the bell out of the Church so after that I decided never to invite her to another function, how sad? She never went to any baseball, football or basketball games. There I am standing at this poor girls homecoming and these thoughts are coming into my head, it was fucked up. I realized I missed out on a whole part of life that I could never bring back. After the events we went back to my in laws home and had cookies and milk and stuff, but the highlight was when we played Monopoly. Now between us, the last time I played Monopoly was when I was locked up in 88'. I'm sitting there laughing and there asking me whats funny? If those nice Christian people only knew. First the Homecoming, my first at 47 years old, then Monopoly, I felt kind of fucked up and guilty. What I forgot to mention was that the whole family was in, my wife's brother, his wife and there baby also the Grandpa on the Mothers side, an aunt and my wife's sister and her daughter, my niece. In the middle of my bad thoughts my father in law yells, FAMILY PICTURE!!! I didn't think much of it since I was watching the UFC and they were cutting into my time. As we were taking the picture I noticed that my father in laws eyes were tearing. He looked at me and he said with pride in his voice, "That his whole family was here" All of a sudden all my insecurities went away. Who gives a fuck that the last time I played Monopoly, I was in prison or that The Homecoming was my first or that my mom had never come to a game because you know what? I'm finally part of a family, a family I don't judge because they don't Judge me and don't really give a fuck too. The love me because I've earned my stripes as a husband or more importantly as a man. They don't care about money or TV shows or anything like that, just that I respect there daughter and there wishes, that's what it means to have in-law's. I try a little but I get back a lot. In the 11 years I've been with Terrie I've only been back 3 times. After this last trip I've decided to go back twice a year. Not because she makes me or whatnot but because I really have a family now. Don't get me wrong I've been lucky enough to have had many families while I was growing up but this feels special because it is special and in all my years I never thought I would go all the way to Tennessee to find out. Have a great week and thank you for reading. Irvine Improv February 2nd @ 8PM Get tickets now but most important .................STAY BLACK!
What's happening? Sorry I was late with the blog but I've been busy and sick. I shot another one of "The Dog" movies for ABC Family with Dean Cain and I have to tell you, it was alot of fun. At this point we have the characters down so we just go in there and shoot it. Tomorrow I leave for Tennessee with my wife to see her family for a few days. Its been 2 years since I was there and I'm exited. I normally don't do shit like this. I'm not good on vacations because I can't really relax. My motto is if I'm not picking up an envelope why would I go? When I was younger I always tried to take vacations and it never worked out. One time a few friends and I drove all night from Jersey to Daytona for spring break. We lasted an evening then we got in the car and drove right back. Another time a few years later a couple of us went to Jamaica. The trip was scheduled for 7 days, I left after 3. The best was in 84, a friend gave me and a few others free tickets and hotels to Hawaii. Again it was a 7 day excursion with free cocktails, I lasted 3 days. I just can't relax. I'm from a different cut. I smoke a number and I feel like I'm a piece of shit sitting around and before long I have a nervous breakdown and I'm out of there. This trip is different, its for my wife, she's from a close nit southern family. I can't believe my wife is even out here. If I had a family like hers I would've never left, but thats one of the reasons I fell in love with my wife, she's got balls. Its quiet where shes from, 2 hours west of Nashville, the hills bitches. Its small and peaceful. There's a Church, a Dairy Queen, a SonicBurger, a Chinese and Mexican buffet that are both horrible but there happy with it. There way of life is what inspires me, they have what they have and there thankful and real at the same time, a quality you don't see much out here with these fucking animals. Last time I went back was the first time I had really met her family after 7 years of dating. I was always busy when she would go back, not really but conveniently that week I'd get busy. I didn't think it was important, but it was. These were the little things that had ruined my first marriage. I never speak of my first marriage because it was total bullshit. There was no love, just drugs and 2 lost souls. We made the American mistake then realized there was nothing there. But before that moment there was something but at the time it wasn't entertainment it was drugs that had gotten in the way. I always get the question, how do you sleep at night? What haunts you? One thing that still destroys me was me not making my first marriage work. I failed the gift of marriage. The partnership of marriage, but most importantly the team concept of marriage and vowed against it after that. After dating my wife for all those years I realized that I had to marry her. Would I fail again? I was scared, but I decided to try harder. To do all the things I didn't do the first time and give it my all and today after all the things in my life that I've experienced one of my biggest fears is to fail this woman in one of the easiest things you could do in your life. Thats why I'm going, because I have too. So I'm going and I'm going to have a great fucking time but most important. I'll make her happy, which at the end of the day, is all that matters. Making somebody's day! Sorry about being late and thank you for reading. Don't forget the most important thing................STAY BLACK! Beauty and Da Beast Podcast!