GOING TO TENNESSEE
Tomorrow I leave for Tennessee with my wife to see her family for a few days. Its been 2 years since I was there and I'm exited. I normally don't do shit like this. I'm not good on vacations because I can't really relax. My motto is if I'm not picking up an envelope why would I go?
When I was younger I always tried to take vacations and it never worked out. One time a few friends and I drove all night from Jersey to Daytona for spring break. We lasted an evening then we got in the car and drove right back. Another time a few years later a couple of us went to Jamaica. The trip was scheduled for 7 days, I left after 3. The best was in 84, a friend gave me and a few others free tickets and hotels to Hawaii. Again it was a 7 day excursion with free cocktails, I lasted 3 days. I just can't relax. I'm from a different cut. I smoke a number and I feel like I'm a piece of shit sitting around and before long I have a nervous breakdown and I'm out of there.
This trip is different, its for my wife, she's from a close nit southern family. I can't believe my wife is even out here. If I had a family like hers I would've never left, but thats one of the reasons I fell in love with my wife, she's got balls. Its quiet where shes from, 2 hours west of Nashville, the hills bitches. Its small and peaceful. There's a Church, a Dairy Queen, a SonicBurger, a Chinese and Mexican buffet that are both horrible but there happy with it. There way of life is what inspires me, they have what they have and there thankful and real at the same time, a quality you don't see much out here with these fucking animals.
Last time I went back was the first time I had really met her family after 7 years of dating. I was always busy when she would go back, not really but conveniently that week I'd get busy. I didn't think it was important, but it was. These were the little things that had ruined my first marriage. I never speak of my first marriage because it was total bullshit. There was no love, just drugs and 2 lost souls. We made the American mistake then realized there was nothing there. But before that moment there was something but at the time it wasn't entertainment it was drugs that had gotten in the way. I always get the question, how do you sleep at night? What haunts you? One thing that still destroys me was me not making my first marriage work. I failed the gift of marriage. The partnership of marriage, but most importantly the team concept of marriage and vowed against it after that.
After dating my wife for all those years I realized that I had to marry her. Would I fail again? I was scared, but I decided to try harder. To do all the things I didn't do the first time and give it my all and today after all the things in my life that I've experienced one of my biggest fears is to fail this woman in one of the easiest things you could do in your life. Thats why I'm going, because I have too. So I'm going and I'm going to have a great fucking time but most important. I'll make her happy, which at the end of the day, is all that matters. Making somebody's day!
Sorry about being late and thank you for reading. Don't forget the most important thing................STAY BLACK! Beauty and Da Beast Podcast!