John Hilder was born and raised in the comedic hotbed of Salt Lake City, Utah. As a child John annoyed friends, family and teachers with his endless attempts at making those around him laugh. Through the years, John’s love of connecting with, and entertaining people through comedy only grew, and in 2004 he moved to Las Vegas to pursue a life in comedy. John began his stand-up career performing in some of the worst bars and clubs these eyes have ever seen, but with his goofy wit, unparalleled originality, and fearless attitude on stage, he quickly rose in the Las Vegas comedy scene to become one of the most respected local comedians in the city.
In 2006 John was featured in a “Las Vegas Weekly” cover story discussing local comedy in Las Vegas. He was also featured several more times in the “Las Vegas Weekly,” as well as in numerous other Las Vegas newspapers and magazines. In late 2006 through May of 2007, John was a writer and featured member of the “Las Vegas Laughs Street Team” on the FOX television affiliate in Las Vegas.
John also produced, ran, and performed in several successful comedy shows in Las Vegas, including a show he organized in late 2007 that was sponsored by HBO’s Comedy Festival. His experience running shows taught him exactly what a great comedy show should be, and he works hard to deliver that great show every time he steps on stage.
John’s unique view of the world and cynical, yet goofy attitude have made him a favorite in casinos all over the Las Vegas Strip and in clubs and bars throughout the country. John was a finalist in the 2005 and 2006 "Laughs at the Beach" comedy competitions, and in the 2007 "Die Trying" comedy contest in Las Vegas.
Don’t miss the opportunity to see this quick-witted, hilarious young comic on his way up, years before his imminent, and heartbreaking demise.
Website
myspace.com/johnhider
Influences
Porn star mustaches. I got into comedy thanks to porn star mustaches. I think most comedians did, really. Porn star mustaches are, in a word, influential.
Members
I’m the only member of my stand-up career, but I’ve got a lot of comedians I look up to and consider friends, and they know who they are, so I won’t list them for fear that I will forget one of them and the depression they feel will drive them to suicide.
TV Shows
I was on the FOX 13 News in Utah the day Jurassic Park came out! I gave my review of the film, which was, "That movie tyrannosaurus rocked!"
Oh, and this aired on FOX 5 at one time. It's my only claim to even semi-fame. Enjoy it!
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Films
None yet, unless you call walking through Christian Bale's line of site in the middle of a scene a film appearance. I will never live that down!
Albums
One day I will actually record a set, then I will turn it into an album, then I will name that album, and then, and only then, I will write about it in this section. Until then, testicles.
John Hilder's Interests
General
Stand-up comedy, bathing in monkey blood, cursing nuns, paranoia, paper cuts, asthma, STD's, Julia Roberts' electric smile, high tea, Sean Penn acting like a retard in I am Sam, cold sores, Brazilian cinema, clean socks, banjos, pedicures, stealing music, loneliness, King Tut, Butch Patrick, Soda Popinsky (If you know who that is you get a medal and a pat on the toosh, compliments of yours truly), Green Eggs and Ham (the book, not the food), fried green tomatoes (the food, not the movie).
Music
The Beatles, because really, how can you like music and not like the Beatles? The Rock and the Roll, Jazz and Blues lately, sissy ass Adult Alternative, and anything other music that doesn't suck, so basically, anything that has come out in the last several years is not allowed anywhere near my virgin ears.
Movies
I love movies. I love all movies, but especially comedies. I can't even begin to name my favorite movies here, but just know that your old pal John loves him some movies!
Television
I probably watch too much of it, to the point that I have even started watching Man VS Wild and Survivorman on Discovery Channel. Oh sure, you laugh now, but when you are stuck in the middle of the Sahara Desert and you need to survive for a week with just a knife and some elbow grease, you will wish to god that I was there!
Books
Reading is hard, therefore I choose not to do it.
Heroes
Um, my high school guidance counselor, my parents, Jesus.....wait a minute! Those aren't my heroes at all! I would have to say I don't have any heroes, but I look up to pretty much anyone who has done stand-up. It's not easy to make strangers laugh, and I respect the hell out of anyone who tries it, especially people who are really good at it!
Hillcrest High
Midvale, UTAH
Graduated: 2002
Student status: Alumni
Degree: High School Diploma
Clubs: I lied about my graduation year. I didn't graduate high school. I hated high school, especially this particular one. I got my G.E.D. and I am totally fine with that! As they say, a G.E.D. is good enough!
Hello, my name is John, and I don't have any junk in my trunk. I'm sorry if you want someone with a lot of junk in his trunk, but my trunk is severely lacking in junk. For that I apologize. What I can provide you with is the occasional chuckle, for you see, I am a stand-up comedian. I know it's impressive, but please, hold your applause until I'm finished. I currently, and hopefully briefly, live in Salt Lake City, UT, and I tell jokes here as much as I possibly can. Basically, comedy is my life, but I'm not very funny when I'm not on stage, so if you expect me to make you laugh all the time you will be sorely disappointed. I should probably bathe more, but that's my business. In fact, there's really no probably about it. I smell awful.
There are new video and audio clips up, so please enjoy them with a tall glass of milk. If milk isn't your thing, please enjoy them with some heroin. I guess that's it. May your dreams soar as high as the most majestic eagle.
A few years back the Las Vegas Weekly published a story about the local Vegas comedy scene featuring me and several other great Vegas comedians! You can read it by clicking on the picture below of a young Stephanie Tanner in her adorable Beehive outfit, or was it the Honey Bees? Man, the early 90's was so long ago! Oh well, just click on it. You will also get the chance to see the website of comedian Brandon Muller, since his page is the only place I can still find this story anywhere on the internets.
Who I'd like to meet: Fans of comedy, especially of my comedy. I think one day those people will exist, and I can't wait to hear them praise me as their god! Why become a fan of an entertainer if not to view him as your only hope for salvation? That's what I thought.
I also want to meet you, whoever you are, and if you are on facebook be sure to add me on there too! Click this link and add me right now! www.facebook.com/johnhilder or copy and paste it because I don't think I made that clickable.
Be sure to check out my profile on comedysoapbox.com by clicking the picture below!
I recently met a lot of the people I really wanted to meet. Here is the photographic proof!
And here are a few pictures of some people who I sort of look up to a bit.
We will be in a Battle of the Bands on the 16th of January at the Venue! For details and tickets call Brandon at 208 713 7662! Come support us! The more people we get to come see us, the BETTER chance we have of winning FIRST PLACE! Thanx for all your support! :)
You are hilarious John and yes... even though I have to rearrange my sock drawer, I will make it a point to take in the show at Jack Didleys because you are SO F'IN FUNNY!!! I haven't laughed that hard since High School Gym Class showers. P.S "Legend" was on the other night and while the demon is extremely well made-up, Tom Cruise's performance just wasn't "Top Gun", Hmmm...
That was fantastic and very pretty, thank you! I feel like an ass for laughing a little at the accent, but I'm sure I wasn't the only one :) "Learn to fry" is just too good.
Online Now!
hope you have a great birthday
