John Bolger
Stand-Up / Sketch Comedy / Parody
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I can’t hold my liquor…my hands were cut off in a nasty table saw accident…
Male
94 years old
CHICAGO, ILLINOIS
United States
Last Login: 6/3/2009
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Mood:
creative
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John Bolger's Comedian Bio
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| Bio | Me youngest of five in an Irish Catholic family. Me funny. Me also stupid. Me get fired from every job. Me went to Second City to audition. Me accepted to Conservatory. During Second City me make friends & start sketch comedy group called Schadenfreude. Me travel around world even performing in Edinburgh Fringe Fest. Me have fun, but now me need to pay rent. Me do stand-up comedy. | | Website | johnbolger.com | | Influences | Buster Keaton, Lenny Bruce, Richard Pryor, Steve Martin, George Carlin, Mel Brooks, Bill Hicks, Bob Odenkirk, Doug Stanhope, David Cross, David Chappelle, Zach Galifianakis, Emo Philips...meh, didn't put much thought into it... | | TV Shows | Comedy Central, NBC’s Gimmie The Mic, WGN morning news, Early Edition, Cork & Kerry commercials | | Films | Eden Court, 1 Second Film |
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John Bolger's Details
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| Status: | In a Relationship | | Hometown: | Aurora, IL. | | Zodiac Sign: | Aquarius | | Occupation: | Comedian |
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John Bolger's Blurbs |
About me:
I rarely sleep, & enjoy screaming loud random nonsensical statements at octogenarians, & vending machines. Stuff like, "Your not gonna make the team with THAT attitude", & "It’s YOUR fault we’re losing the war on terror". Always wanted to go to Egypt, stand near a huge crowd of people looking at the pyramids & say, "Man, it would of sucked trying to fix a leak in THAT roof". Part of me thinks I’m a handsome dandy lad from the 14th century, while the other part feels like the bully from that same century calling me a faggot. I want to walk into a crowded fire and yell THEATER!!! You’ve read too much…now go…
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Who I'd like to meet:
My UPS guy. Then Jesus. Then the devil. Then both of them together with me standing in the middle rocking back n forth on my heels making sounds with my mouth moving my hands forward clapping occasionally. After 17 seconds, I'd say, "This is PRETTY awkward?"
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| John Bolger's Friend Space (Top 12) |
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John Bolger has 318 friends.
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