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I AM

RIDER FOR THE ARTIST (JOHNNY LOVE) WHEN ATTENDING ANY PUBLIC EVENT
Johnny Love, who will henceforth be referred to as the artist requests the following:
the artist requires to be driven to the event.
the artist requires to be let out at the front door of the venue, if this is not possible, 
a new location no farther than one half (1/2) block away shall be provided.
the artist requires guestlist with a minimum of plus three (+3)
the artist requires to have his stride uninterrupted from his exit of the vehicle 
to a seating area within the club, preferably in a private vip area that is not visible 
to the rest of the club, if this is not possible, a prominent seat behind the dj booth is required.

the artists requests that he has a soda and lemon in his hands at all times, 
if the promoter cannot fulfill this obligation, drink tickets must be furnished 
for the artist and his entourage, 
though in this situation, the artist will not under any circumstances approach
 the bar and order the drink himself.
the artist will complain at great length about the following subjects:

how bad the dj is
how bad the music is
how bad the dancing is
how fat the girls are
how fat the guys are
how ugly everyone is
how he wishes he was still in chicago in 2005
how hes hates the current track
how the club has no energy
how the weather is terrible
how the people in his immediate vicinity do not deserve to be there
how his soda isnt fizzy enough

this is an incomplete list.

the artist also requires that no one who does not know him personally look him in the eyes, 
in the event that someone who is not aesthetically pleasing breaks this requirement, 
a security guard must be furnished 
in order to escort the offender off the premises.
the artist must not under any circumstances be asked to dance if he is not standing.  
the artist prefers to be seated in the club his entire stay
 and will leave no longer than thirty (30) minutes after his arrival.

the artist must be not be handed any flyers while exiting the club, 
especially not any flyers with his name on it. 
the artists must be picked up directly infront of the club
and be taken directly to eat at an establishment that serves atleast one of the following:

poutine
dim sum
potato tacos
fiesta rolls
smoked salmon
viande fumee
donairs
bacon cheeseburger with an over easy egg
nutella crepes
chicken alfredo with sundried tomatos and prosciutto
al pastor burrito
a pizza with either anchovies,gorgonzola, 
capicolla, gouda, or eggplant 
(the eggplant must NOT be breaded)

under no circumstances shall people afterparty within
earshot of the artist, as the artist enjoys his sleep.  
a television with a wide variety of films in the genres of:
mafia, british crime, caper, documentary, sword and sandal
epics, and world war 2 dramas shall be provided.  
the television must also have a sleep timer function, 
as the artist enjoys falling asleep with a movie on, 
and absolutely hates being woken up by a moment of dramatic music 
or shouting later in the film.





signed



________________
the promoter


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talk dirty in my ear:  j0hn3r0x0r5