Bernie doesn't like people, so when he performs for you, you'll laugh till it hurts! He sez he don't taste like chicken, so bite me Elmo! Bernie says Terry Fator was lip-sinking on America's Got Talent, didn't you see his Millie Vanillie puppet!
Music
The new tune "I'm a Freak of Nature and I need my Nature Freak" copyrighted by Us and performed by Bernie. We are looking for dancing nature freak girls for the music video. Email naughty, ok raunchy pictures to bernie@oscarandbernie.com
Movies
The Birds, Bernie loves seeing the people running scared. And after the movie, Bernie likes Baskin Robins, he's into red breasted ice cream.
Television
Animal Planet, anything animal, but also enjoys a great pirate movie. Bernie likes shivering timbers. Nothing like a good flogging. A little kiel hauling too, does a body good. Hates cooking shows.
Books
Bernie likes newspapers, on the bottom of his cage! Bernie sez books are like women, you can't tell a book by it's cover, and you can't tell a women...a damned thing, unless your under the covers!
Heroes
Woody Woodpecker, Heckle and Jeckle, Donald Duck, Fog Horn Leghorn, Daffy Duck, and Elmo can "Bite Me!" sez Bernie, "and Kermit,... Miss Piggy's flown United, I got frequent flyer miles, and the mile high club heard her singing a duet of You're my Freak of Nature!"
About me: John Oscar Hein and Bernie have been doing standup comedy for as long as birds fly. Oscar grew up in Cleveland, Ohio. Bernie was hatched in Vegas, 1981, Check out our web site at My Site We have interesting useless information and pictures of other comics we have worked with before, also see under Comedians on My Space. Currently live back in Vegas, after 8 years in Cleveland. You've seen us on the Gong Show, Open Call Show, commercials with Chop, of Towbin Dodge, and on America's Got Talent. See King of Cars on A&E. We were on the Tonight Show, with Alonzo Bodden. Give a shout out. Thanks, You got "D." Bird!
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Who I'd like to meet: Triumph the Insult Dog, Bernie sez he'll will swoop and poop on him. "I'll fix his nut licking ass, like he's the coyote, and I'm the road runner, that ball-breathed bastard!" sez Bernie, "and Kermit, you're next." <<.. .. width="320" height="277">.. ..>..>
How's Thursday treating you? Trying to play catch up this whole week.
I have a newly posted up video on my page of me and my race car @ Flat Rock and Toledo Speedway. Included is a sample of the my new tunes that will be on my first rock album.
We go to print next week so I've been working on adding "NAMES" and logos to put on my race car and helmet. You can see name listed in my BLOG.
Hi Gang, we need your help soliciting Triumph the Insult dog in a debate, 'tis the season, hook me up and I'll give you Chevy Chase's Vegas Vacation movie directors chair. Yea, I got it, ask no questions. Also ck. out my Comics My Space,Thanks, Oscar
