Jonathan Selwood
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"Lavender is the patchouli of the bourgeoisie."
Male
31 years old
Portland, Oregon
United States
Last Login: 11/21/2008
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http://www.myspace.com/jonathanselwood |
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Jonathan Selwood's Interests
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| General |
Height: 4 foot 8 inches (seated)
Weight: Enough to throw around
Politics: Lapsed Anarchist
Religion: Evangelical Absurdist
Sport: Shot Put
Hobbies: Talking very loudly when intoxicated, composting kitchen scraps, excessively rolling my Rs when ordering burrrrrritos… using ellipses… | | Music | El Poder de New York by Oro Solido | | Movies | Without bourbon, Lost in Translation. With bourbon, The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly. | | Television | Currently Muted. | | Books | The Pinball Theory of Apocalypse (Duh.)
Currently reading...
| | Heroes | Theodore Raven |
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Jonathan Selwood's Details
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| Status: | Swinger | | Hometown: | Hollywood | | Body type: | 0' 0" | | Zodiac Sign: | Aquarius | | Occupation: | Writer |
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Jonathan Selwood's Schools
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Jonathan Selwood's Companies
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Harper Perennial
New York, US
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Selwood Labiatric Institute of Technology
Hollywood, US
Head Pataphysician
http://selwoodinstitute.com/
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Most of the Holocene
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Jonathan Selwood's Latest Blog Entry
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Jonathan Selwood's Blurbs |
About me:
"Read this
book, because laughing yourself to death is the second best way to
go."--Arthur Nersesian
I was born in Hollywood, California. In other words, the first time I played doctor as a kid was on a neighbor's circular fur-covered waterbed with a mirror on the ceiling. The girl's parents and two younger siblings were busy out by the pool hosting a nude cocaine party.
My own parents, in contrast, were from back east, and did not partake in nude cocaine parties. I was thus instilled from a young age with a strong New England-style Puritan ethic, while at the same time being raised in what is arguably the most depraved and wantonly hedonistic neighborhood in the world. When I finally graduated high school and left to attend college in Vermont, I was completely ill-prepared for the relative lack of debauchery (i.e., the nude parties had no cocaine, and the cocaine parties had no nudity).
After college, I moved down to Chiapas, Mexico and tried my best to write on the cheap. It lasted about four months. Then I moved to New York City and tried my best to write on the expensive. It lasted about five years. Eventually I moved to Portland, Oregon in search of a happy medium.
Portland's been pretty good to me so far, but I must admit that in the dead of a rainy winter, I'm still inclined to wax nostalgic for those carefree sunny Southern California days, and the nude cocaine parties of my youth.
The UNCENSORED part of my bio is here:
jonathanselwood.com/bio.html
My debut novel The Pinball Theory of Apocalypse is out now:
After years of forging Impressionist masterpieces to decorate the McMansions of the not quite Sotheby's auction rich, the painter Isabel Raven serendipitously hits on an idea that turns her into the "It girl" of LA's art scene. Unfortunately, just as her career as an artist starts to take off, the rest of her life goes into a tailspin. Isabel's personal chef boyfriend admits to having an affair with a sixteen year-old pop singer who openly bills herself as the Latina Britney Spears, her sociopathic art dealer is threatening to gut her like an emu if she doesn't agree to be in the world's most humiliating ad campaign, and her reclusive Cal Tech physicist father has conclusively proven that the world is about to end.
With only a disaffected Dutch-Eskimo billionaire philanthropist and his dissolute 13-year-old adopted daughter to guide her, Isabel is forced to reexamine not just her own delusional existence, but the delusional existence of her native city as well.
Learn more at jonathanselwood.com. Or better yet, just fork over the cash...
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