In Loving Memory Of Joshua Beasley
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Male
17 years old
United Kingdom
Last Login: 10/11/2008
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In Loving Memory Of Joshua Beasley's Interests
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Beautiful
Talented
Loved
"Josh was a budding writer - having already plotted his first novel and was increasingly stetching his creative wings. Such was Joshua's own sense of self. Creative, independant and challenging."
*Silence*
Silence. Is this not acting?
FUCK! Oh, have I got your attention now? Is this what it takes to intrigue you, people with no shame who have nothing stopping them from swearing, removing clothes or getting right up close and personal – too close? You going to answer or just sit behind your table with a taste of authority. See, and now you have just a tinge of doubt, because you don’t know what I am going to do next.
BOO, unlike all the others out there. They can come in, perform maybe some classics or perhaps something more abstract. They can act, you can watch and that’s it. None of it matters, nothing matters. Ask yourself this, what is the meaning of life? Do you believe or God, or some form of higher being? Well if you do then my opinion of you has been severely lowered, but that’s neither here nor there. Humour me for just a moment, maybe two, there is no god. That’s right,, YOU DON’T EXIST! And because of that, how can any of this, you, me, them have a purpose to be. We don’t. Existence is pointless, yet so is not existing. But don’t get down now, do what I plan to do – make the most of it. There’s a whole world beyond this field of dreams we’re all dancing in, and I want to see that world.
Wings of Purity and Wax
Love can die, joy turn to sorrow, good to bad and so on. But then again, these changes can go both ways.
They say hope’s eternal, not true. When you give up hope you give up on life. Then again, hope can be a burning beacon, a pure flame to stay with you through rain and shine.
I know you can lose hope, let go of dreams and ambitions, but there will always be that spark. The faded ambers of something still strong enough to carry you through the hardships of the world, and with the right assistance, that spark can become a blaze once again.
If you let go of love, forget joy and give-up the simple good things of life, just never ever give up hope – your own guardian angel to carry you through the world on wings of purity and wax… fly too high and with out caution, and there’ll melt.
Does any of this even matter? These words, this performance, our existence. Why are you here watching this? As just another form of entertainment, an escape from reality and the trials of your everyday life, as a tiresome necessity or maybe just so you feel able to call yourself ‘cultured’. You know, right at this moment you are more of an actor than I am. The real world is the stage and you, it’s performers.
How many of you can truly boast that the person that all others see in you is the person you truly are, without the facades that are make-up, clothes and your outer appearance getting in the way. The theatrical process of becoming someone else is a practice you indulge in everyday, yet right now, I’m the only one of us who has the right to do so. But you know, right at this moment you are more of an actor than I am. Drama gives you the chance to truly be who you aren’t, but I’m taking this chance to actually be the real me for once, to say my mind to you in a way that will get an applause at the end of it instead of a weird look. But what do you think, is this even another performance, or is this an actual thought-tap of the character that is Joshua Beasley? So now I pose my first question to you again. Does any of this even matter? That is, unless you can see past those words, past this performance, past our existence. So now I’ll ask my final question. Do you see?
Take my hand. Follow. Trust. Believe. You’re beautiful, so beautiful, you are beautiful. You see it? Not through your eyes, but through mine, through theirs, through reflections. Feel, you’re beautiful. Taste, so beautiful. Smell, so beautiful. Hear, so beautiful. Do you follow? Do you trust? Do you believe? Feel, you’re beautiful. Taste, so beautiful. Smell, so beautiful. Hear, so beautiful. See, you are beautiful – but only in their eyes. In mine you’re nothing, less than nothing, worthless. A perfection junkie, scrapping that last bit of manufactured beauty out of the tin. Clinging to the image others see you as. Drowning in the vanity that is all you are on the outside.
Let me take a deeper look, how the fuck is this beauty?
Expectations: Everyone has them. Expectations for people, for things, for their lives. And most of the time those expectations are fulfilled, and you're content. What are your expectations of me? As someone close to you, to bring you joy. As you partner, to love. As your lover, to satisfy. But what if I don't want to meet these expectations? Then I become a bad boyfriend. If I don't want to leave you content, feeling wanted or even satisfied. If I don't want to kiss you goodbye, don't want to celebrate special occasions with presents, don't want to 'prove' my feelings with pointless actions. If I don't want to do those things, what does that make me? Well, I know what it makes you - lonely, annoyed, left feeling rejected. That is, if you don't understand. I'm going to shatter your expectations so that each and every day could have a surprise in. You won't have to wait for those special dates to feel more wanted than you would on any other day. You won't feel content, but instead you'll feel over the moon. In search of a better phrase you won't feel wanted, but instead you'll feel needed. You won't feel satisfied, but instead you'll surpass that - not know when 'its' coming, but when it does it will complete you and more. Expectations. Everyone has them...
But we're not everyone
Habit: We are all creatures of habit. But through routine I've become just a shadow. I sign off each text with the clichéd 'xxx', and tell you that I love you, and buy you presents, and, and, and. But What’s the point, I mean seriously? Because it shows you how much you mean to me, because it reminds you of my feelings, because it stirs up your feelings. But what’s the point? I'm never again going to sign off with a string of kisses, never again tell you I love you. Not because I don't, but because I do. I've fallen into habit; through routine the portrayal of my feelings has become just a shadow. I don't want you to see how much I love you in clichéd phrases, over-used words or consumer goods. I want you to see how much I love you through my actions. Anyone can say 'you mean everything to me', but I want to prove it to you. Words are just a jumble of sounds that the brain translates into language, but 'action is eloquence'.
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In Loving Memory Of Joshua Beasley's Blurbs |
About me:
Still Appealing For
Witnesses.
REST IN PEACE
JOSHUA BEASLEY
He was born 10th november 1990
and tragically taken from us at
just 17, christmas 2007.
His memory and people's love for
him will live on always.
This was orginally set up as part
of the missing campaign. It is now
a memorial page for dear Josh and a
place for people to remember josh
and share their memories of him.
There aren't enough words to
express how amazing and wonderful
Josh was. He made such an imapact
on so many people's lives and the
loss is felt by the many people who
cared very deeply for him.
Josh excelled in pretty much all
area's of life; creatively, socially,
academically and as a kind, loving
self-assured & considerate youn man.
Joshua had a passion for reading.
He was dyslexic and didn't read his 1st book until he was 10 and a half and then couldn't keep away from a book. He exceeded all our expectations when he recieved his GCSE results. He achieved 6As and 5Bs and he did not seem to have to try very hard! Every one was so proud of him and still are. Josh was in his first year of A levels. He was taking Enlish literature, English Language, Drama and Philosophy. He was also shadowing history. It was alot of work, but he was clearly enjoying it! As with all other thinga, he was excelling in his A levels. He was passionate about writing and acting. He was clearly destined for the theatre. The writing featured on this page is just a taster of the creativity, thought and time he put into his writing.
Josh was adored by his family, friends and myself, his girlfriend. He had such a "loudly playful" yet "quietly thoughtful" personality. He was so welcoming and would never judge. He was the sort of person who looked beyond people's aesethic qualities. He appreciated people for who they really were and loved their flaws rather than there perfections.
"On the afternoon of the 24th of December, Christmas eve, 2007. Joshua set off from home on foot - to meet up with is mates in Greenwich. He took part of us with him. He was/is/will always be part of us. Joshua we are so proud of you and so humbled. Farewell our beautiful, bright boy. You'll always be remebered. We love you forever."
The Charities
The flowers we have received for Josh are greatly appreciated, however if you would like to make a more lasting contribution to Josh’s memory we have chosen two charities and have organised for donations to be collected and given in his name. The two charities are, The National Youth Theatre and Missing People.
Cheques should be made payable to ‘National Youth Theatre’ and / or ‘Missing People’.
Josh’s passion was drama. He took part in Shakespeare in Schools productions, attended courses at the National Theatre and on his own initiative got himself into the National Youth Theatre. One of his ambitions was to be an actor, and we would like to support other young people in this ambition.
 Missing People have been a huge support to us whilst we were looking for Josh – they are sensitive and caring and do everything they can to bring families back together again. Missing People is run mainly by volunteers 24 hours every day of the week; they do invaluable work in publicising, counselling and supporting both missing people and their loved ones.
SHARE MEMORIES
If you have any memories of Josh, which you would like to have put in the scrollbox below please MESSAGE your memory to me, exactly how you want it displayed and I will put them in the box. Thank you.
I must be the luckiest person growing up with such an amazing brother, having so many memories to hold onto forever. Most of the memories I remember are only silly little private jokes or conversations between us, but there the ones that I will hold even closer. Like discussing how terrifying tom is from hollyoaks, spending nights in the loft with josh and rudi, playing playstation and downing strongbow. Our bitching sessions and conversations about my boy problems. All little memories like these are the ones I built my trust and love for him. I soon realised that I could go to him for anything. I love and miss him so much. Thank you for everything, for making my life.
Rest in peace Josh, the best brother in the world.
-Rowan Beasley
I remember when i first met Josh. We were both invited to a party by a mutual friend. At first Josh was very quiet, quite the gentleman. After a while we caught each others eye and started talking. I was the only female at this party and Josh made me feel so comfortable. We barely took any notice of anyone else all night. He did manage to kick me in the face duing the course of the night but it didn't stop me liking him. I'd never met anyone so welcoming and non-judgmental. It was the 10th of June 2006 and we were together until the day he was taken from us. What I felt for him, i felt for no one else. That feeling will stay with me forever.
-Charlotte Smith.
well I met josh back year 8, through a close friend of mine,Vida Forward.Before I had eeven spoken to Josh, I told Vida i liked him, then back in Febuary 2004, me Josh and Vida went to Baring park for the afternoon. This was the first time i'd ever really spent time with Josh outside of school. I remember walking through the park and thinking to myself what a fantastic guy he was..untill me and Vida walk through a deep lake of dirt to get the restricted side of the park! Typical...!
After spending a few hours exploring the ins and outs of the park, we decided to head back. As we walked out the park Josh turned to me and asked me out. I was gobsmakced.But happy. It didnt last more than 2 weeks, but after that, i knew he was a friend for life. Josh will never leave my heart. He was a great guy!
-Amey
We were all in weatherspoons. And he made me laugh. Because he bought three beers at once. And i couldn't quite understand why. And he just laughed. He said "well, because i can!" And yeah. Made me laugh. Another memory, of what i have of Josh.
Is when we were all up docklands, back in about september.
When he took the free pink tiara from me, and was prancing about with it on he's head.
Typical Josh aye.
It's memories like these that none of us will forget.
-Scarlett.
I remember first talking to josh in music classes, both of us had a love for enter shikari and the most heavier bands. Josh was always up for a chat, if he was on his way to somewhere and you stopped him for a chat hed always stop and say hi. Me josh and saffron were the first people to here about WE ARE THE OCEAN yeahhh! used to talk about it alot. I also remember reading festival 07. We saw enter shikari and it reminded me of our first convosation :). Austria trip aswell, the summer toboggoning, josh was right behind me making me speed up fasterand faster down the sides of mountains!, made me laugh though, im glad i got to know you josh, miss you dearly. love you laods
-Tom
About two years ago, Me Vida Josh and Peter all went to bromley. And we went in a shop, me and vida bought what we wanted and josh bought his usual party rings. Then i saw this headband thing, it was silly but for some reason i rele rele wanted it. It was pink and had these two little sticky out butterfly things, i went mad coz i wanted it and kept going on and on and on about it. Neway, me and vida went n payed for our stuff and we met Peter and Josh outside. When josh walked out he pulled out this headband and put it on his head, saying he had bought it for himself and 'did it suit him' I went mad and started laughing and telling him to 'fuck off' Then he reached into his bag and pulled out another one that he had bought for me :) It made me smile and Laugh and we spent the rest of the day wearing them.
-Samantha
The first time I met Josh was when I started Thomas Tallis, we were in the same Drama group. I saw him and thought cool! another emo like me! haha.
He was so talented and I believed he was gonna go far in acting for sure.
But as I got to know him, I saw a side to him that was like no other typical teenage boy, he was so kind and gentle and would always be there for you when you needed someone to talk to. I've got far too many memories of Josh and I will never EVER forget them.
I will never forget Josh and he will always inspire me to go further in drama, I miss Josh and love him so much.
-Rosie L.
I knew Josh back in the days of Lee Manor primary school. Josh was by far the COOLEST geek. He had the best selection of pokemon cards. I will never forget the time he accidently swallowed a bug during geography. No doubt about it it was fate that we got on the same 261 to go shopping last year and we got to have that good old "whats happened since i last saw you" chat. He was so smitten with Charlotte and with his dream of acting. I will never forget you, and nor will all our other classmates at that crazy school. RIP love you always josh
-jennifer hunt
Their's So Many Memories Filled With Laughter Mucking Around And Also The Serious Conversations We Use To Have. Of Course Their Was Drama And Music Where We Would Muck About And Write These Ridiculos Stories And Rhymes About Anything And Everything. But Its The Serious Bits The Stunned Me The Most, You Had No Worries For What People Thought Of You And You Pratically Drilled That In My Head And Its Worked Eversince. But I Can Never Forget Us Stuck On This Sofa Top And Tailing Eachother With Your Feet In My Face ! And Us Jus Talking About The Most Randomest Things It Was Top Notch And I Loved Every Second I Spent With You :) Love You Josh
-Louise Holdway
I knew Josh while we went to Primary School together- his parents knew mine and so we went to the same child minder for seven years every day after school. It's impossible to pick one memory of him! Would it be the slightly dangerous firework parties, the insane hallowe'en outfits, the occasional bout of cross-dressing, the time I broke his spiderman doll, or the enforced watching of Pokemon for seven bloody years?
I remember once he truly made me believe purple skittles sweets would kill me if I ate one. That's mainly stuck with me because I refused to go near them for several years, until he told me sweetly it might not have been entirely true. He was such an individual person who will stay with me always!
-Maeve Kelly
Josh really was amazing,i could go on about memories, but just saying josh beasley says it all for me because they come back to me all at once. But i must admit the endless arguments about pete doherty and enter shikari have to be said. He would keep this endless akward silence going where we'd be talking about bands and i had 2 bring up enter shikari, but just to keep me smiling and start a debate he would never admit to me that he liked them even tho they would appear on his most played. This always kept us talking even in the most akward of moments and he would use it to make me smile even when i was being my stubborn self.
-Amber Rowe
my feelings are with Charlotte and Josh's family
at least you're coping well. Miss him terriblly, wish he could be here now.
-Efdal.
You were just a little man when I met you, a young player - and you were quiet and sweet and had good freinds. You were my guys - we laughed, pissed about, sat in the armoury chatting nonsense and taking the piss out of each other.
Then it wasn't long before we were all really close, and I stuck up for you all and you moved up to adults. We spent a lot of time together. You, me, Cotter and James. We had a good time, made a lot of fun... and of course - went off to dhilip Sha's that day and I was worried I was going to get in trouble with your parents because no-one had told them we were all going... long long time ago now. We had a great day.
Then I went away, and I didn't see you for a while - except on the rare occassions that I visited.
You were always there to chat to, still smiling, and telling me about how good your life was, and how in Love you were - and all about your aspirations to become an Actor - I believed in you.
Then we went to Monster the Three Day, and this is one of my last an favorite memories of you - sitting on the hillside together for hours in the sunshine, waiting for the party to stop faffing and get on with it. We sat in the sun, and pissed about and talked about nonsense... and some not so much nonsense. You told me about drama school, you were nervous and hopeful all at once - and again, I thought - God, y'know, he'll make it one day.
And you smiled at me that day, and it made me so happy - I think you had such an infectous smile, so beautiful - and I could see just how much you had changed since we last spent time pissing about...
I thought the world of you Josh - you made me so happy, just our odd conversations and the way you grew up so much in the time that I knew you - how you remained so calm and level headed, and were getting more and more beautiful beetween times I didn't see you.
You were amazing, and anyone lucky enough to call you thier friend had an amazing friend in you.
So here's to the time that I knew you, to allt he times we pissed about, to all the times we sat down a dark cave or on a hillside just waiting for somethign to happen, for all the times we laughed.
I'll never forget you.
-Benita.
I first met Josh in Year 7 – through Drama Club, and our friendship grew from then.
He and I went on to perform in the our school’s rendition of Julius Caesar for the Shakespeare School’s festival, followed three years on by Othello.
I’ll always remember Josh’s overwhelming ability to make any performance his own, which I looked up to – and still do.
Not only was he a great actor, he was a great friend – sensitive and always up for a chat.
He had a way with people, he was able to make people’s day by just being there, offering advice when needed or helping out if you were in trouble. I used to see him nearly every day, passing him on the corridor, and made an effort to have a nice, if not, brief chat with him.
Josh was a brilliant guy and I regret not being able to perform with him one last time.
-Tom DM
There are just so many times which just come to mind when people mention Josh, sometimes its difficult to filter them. There was one time he came round my house and we watched 'The Big Lebouski' and played cards, and josh got annoyed when i asked him if he wanted to play again and said i only wanted to because i knew i was gunna win. And when we were on the 261 Me Josh Sam and either Matt or Charlie, and these boys started throwing crap at Me and Sam and before we even really noticed Josh was throwing stuff back at them and protecting us and getting really angry, even though it was something so small it just makes me love him so much everytime i think about it, he didnt even need to think about what to do, he was already there getting angry.
Also just the entire field work week, where Josh spent the whole week with me, and put up with me just being so irritating, and constantly nagging him for advice, which he lovingly gave without getting frustrated, and when i feel asleep on the tube and he just put his arm up to make sure that at no point i would fall out of the doors, which of course i almost did, in fact his arm saved me lol. It was Josh who really made me love history, he sat with me all year 11, and we passed notes right under Mr Hiers nose, and made up ridiculouse stories to help remember all the facts we'd need for our medicine exam, and just laughing about crap, whilst either he copied my work or i copied his. There are so many more other times, but its so hard to put them down into words. Josh was always there for me, exactly when i needed him, he always knew when i would need him, over the years i turned to him for advice on almost every problem i ever had, and he was always there, sharing is everlasting wisdom with me. Everyday i miss him, and i love him so much, and i wish i'd been able to be there for him the same way he always was for me.
Vida Forward
I'de gone to write this a few times, lol. So i thought i would just say everything :) i met josh at recess, when we were all little geeks, including char ;) And the moment char and him got together, the memories came flooding. Campouts at chislehurst, or in his backgarden. Terrorising jack, being 1/4 black n all lol. Or making me listen to strange msic at victoria? His Party and watching lion king and team america with his dad lol. And then the next day having a hair mousse and shaving foam fight, i lost lol. I do miss him, and i wish i hadn't drifted from him and char, but i guess i should be thankfull, otherwise i wouldn't be as close to char as i am now. love you Josh.
x
Billie-Joe Lowles
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