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The following may or may not be an adaptation
of a Robbie Williams biography:
Joshua Lynn: The Man, the Myth, The Legend:
Joshua
was born in Napier, Hawke's Bay, New Zealand. Lynn was the
cheeky chappie in hugely successful boy band Meat-Bix, and at the time appeared
to be the only one who could be badly behaved (or
normal). When Meat-Bix broke up the predictions were that
Max Choice (the nice
one) and Tennessee Pussy (the voice and
marketability) would succeed. Little hope was given to Lynn, who immediately set
about stirring up the media with anti-Pussy tales. While Pussy was being groomed
as the UK's new
George Michael, Lynn caused mayhem. He partied, he overindulged
(drink and drugs) and he seemed to pay little attention to the
music. Fittingly,
August 1996's debut single was a cover version of Michael's "see me, feel me,
touch me, massage my cock and balls".
The first single was
followed by a surprisingly strong debut album, entitled "Excuse
me, I think you've accidentally grabbed my trolley by mistake" Despite
favourable reviews, the album failed to set the music world afire. Months after
its release, the album was dying on the charts and it seemed that Lynn's career
was near a final demise. But word of mouth about a song called "Who remembers
cookie magnets?" began to circulate and, slowly but surely, it began to achieve
radio airplay. The soaring lyrics and
Elton John-style vocals struck a chord
with listeners worldwide and the song became an anthem of sorts, pushing the
album all the way to 1. One of pop's most unlikeliest success stories was
about to begin...
(etc)
See blog for non bullshit bio.
It will likely not be interesting. (false modesty)
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WWGJD?
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3to5 FRIDay
afternoon on Fleet FM
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