Debauchery, gender fuckery, behavior inappropriate for one's sex, age, and station in life. Damaged goods that have been repaired with glitter glue. Broken hearts with sequins on the scars. Perverts with impeccable manners. Wearing black leather whether or not it's in style. Eating with my fingers and playing with my food.
Varies. I used to have Spinal Tap's Big Bottom on my profile because A) I'm all about ass and B) I performed to this song with them live in 1992 at the Fox Theatre in Atlanta. Yes, I shook it down with Spinal Tap. I AM that cool. Or was.
If you aren't as impressed with this brush with greatness as I am, perhaps we aren't really meant to be friends, after all.
However, the Tap music was removed from myspace. Now I change my music a lot.
Below, me performing with some of my heroes, Deb DeSalvo and Lily Burana:
Below:
Me as an extra in a clip with Leonard Cohen and U2. Being part of this film shoot was a magical experience.
Movies
Anything with explosions, breasts, or amazing dialogue.
The video above shows me teaching a student at UPenn how to twirl tassels. I traveled with the Sex Workers Art Show for five weeks, and every night I taught a different person to twirl! Bill O'Reilly used this clip to illustrate a story about a Christian cause he was supporting. He used my boobs to sell his Wren Cross story. Such an upstanding guy! Being insulted by BOR is like being complimented by Jon Stewart, kinda.
Television
I like to watch. Youtube, I'm afraid. Okay, and the Daily Show.
When I was your age we didn't have the Simpsons and South Park. We had to walk uphill both ways to find our irony. You don't know how good you have it.
You can watch me right now on myspace video. I love this new technoconology. I have my demo on this myspace, which is me doing my curvy classic burlesque thing, plus a video of me with my beloved troupe, the fabulous Belles of the Bowery, in a rehearsal for our Jethro Tull Aqualung number. Here is a link to video of me doing my Godzilla number:
http://thisorthat-video.blogspot.com/2006/04/godzilla-meets-jo-boobs.html
Books
Anything I can quote in an argument to make myself appear to be factually correct when in fact I am not. And I'll take a moment to blow a kiss to Sandra Cisneros.
Heroes
Bugs Bunny, and you.
What's a good quote? How about: "Cry more, you'll pee less." My mom used to say that to me, and she was right. I hardly ever cry but I pee ALL THE TIME.
If I can't immediately figure out your personal connection to me (past lives are fine) or your professional or artistic (artistic includes fans and audience members, you make the art live) connection to some form of performance art, burlesque or striptease, I'll deny your friend request. I was going to say I'm sorry about this, but that would have been a lie. I'll save my valuable lying energy for something else.
The New York School of Burlesque is on a mission to bring mischief and glamour to all!
Just so you know, if you post a flyer in my comments, I'll post a flyer in yours. If you don't let me, I'll block your comments from now on.
If you've ever been dazzled or inspired
by photos of pinups and burlesque queens,
The New York School of Burlesque
is the school for you!
Learn the sexy shimmy,
the tantalizing glove peel,
the devastating bump n grind, and the dazzling tassel-twirl
from an internationally recognized striptease expert
with decades of performing experience.
Many former students perform in New York at famous burlesque venues.
You can, too!
Or, you can take a burlesque workshop simply because
the workshop itself is a party!
It's even more fun when you bring a friend!
Burlesque is where Bugs Bunny and the Playboy Bunny meet.
The difference between burlesque and strip joints is that in burlesque, the performer plays to the entire room. In strip joints, the stripper plays to individuals. Of course, there are exceptions to every rule...
Above: Catherine D'Lish, photographed by me at Tease-O-Rama 2007, San Francisco. I totally stole her shoe trick.
If you want to friend me you'll have to send me a personal (as in, not part of a group add) message. Sorry, I'm being spammed to death.
I'm not interested in hooking up, yo, or in checking out your swimsuit calendar. Get real, would ya?
I teach burlesque, perform, take photos, and write.
I also do other things, but I'm probably too old for you.
I talk a lot and I cuss a lot. I am not well-behaved. I do not aspire to be ladylike and I expect respect (or obedience, at the very least) even though I'm cranky and disreputable.
I describe myself thusly (which is to say I actually repeat this verbatim in casual conversation):
What's wrong with me, ultimately and possibly tragically, is that my will to be entertained is stronger than my will to survive. That I have survived so far with this deficiency is evidence of the strength of my will to survive. Imagine, then, what I'll do to be entertained....Reputation, sanity, the respect of marriageable men--I'm always willing to risk these things.
This isn't the best place to email me! I mean it! Email me at my email address, beeotches!
But enough about what I find interesting about me. Here's what you might find interesting about me:
The New York School of Burlesque is adding a
location for its daytime classes: The spectacular,
glamourous, sexy Slipper Room! Located at 167
Orchard Street, this new venue will allow you to not
only learn movement in front of a wall panel mirror as
in a dance studio, but to try out your moves on an
actual burlesque stage! There has never been a dance
class like this before.
Jo Weldon, Voted Best Teacher in Arts and
Entertainment in The Village Voice in October 2007,
and Voted Best Burlesque Teacher at the New York
Burlesque Festival in 2006, will be teaching classic
burlesque moves she learned directly from the legends
of burlesque. You'll learn to shimmy, peel, bump,
grind, and twirl tassels! Plus, every week she teaches
Gorgeous Movement, incorporating burlesque-style
movement into a system of dance designed to enhance
your posture, grace, and confidence on any stage. She
also offers classes in chair dance and fan dance.
There are also specialty workshops with Candy
Caramelo, who performed in the 1950s with Sally
Rand and Gypsy Rose Lee and has plenty of stories to
tell, as well as being willing to share her secrets about
walking and posing on stage. World Famous BOB will
be teaching wig and makeup tricks, plus ultimate
confidence-building techniques. Julie Atlas Muz will
be teaching incredible techniques for enhancing your
stage presence and improving the composition of your
numbers. Angie Pontani will be teaching hot go-go
moves. Peekaboo Pointe will be teaching burlesque
Pilates and cardio twirl. (Evening classes take place in
another Greenwich Village location.)
For all the details, visit:
http://www.schoolofburlesque.com
Teacher Jo Weldon Voted
"Best Burlesque Teacher and Mentor"
and "Best Bump N Grinder"
At the New York Burlesque Festival!
This isn't the best place to email me! I mean it! I am TERRIBLE at myspace ettiquette, but if you email me personally you can expect satisfaction. I'd be less trouble for you if spam was less trouble for me.
Who I'd like to meet: Showgirls, showboys, showponies, people who strive to be their own heroes, and people who know that it's worth kissing ass if you get kissed back. Smooch!
Jo B$$Bs NY School of Burlesque's Friend Space (Top 24)
Feline Entertainment & Fanatique de Glam present: Burlesk! Freaky Friday the 13th w/ Viva le Vox and the Goddamn Gallows, freaks, geeks, and all kind of scary peeps! Burlesk! Freaky Friday the 13th will be featuring spooky and freaky performances by well-known local and traveling magicians, musicians, and burlesque artists to thrill and chill you!
Artistika 523 S. Elm Doors @ 7pm, Burlesk! Show @ 8pm $10, $8 if curiously clothed Bands Immediately Following Burlesk Revue The weirdest, creepiest, eeriest, most bizarre, peculiar peepshow you've seen yet!!!
Feline Entertainment & Fanatique de Glam present: Burlesk! Freaky Friday the 13th w/ Viva le Vox and the Goddamn Gallows, freaks, geeks, and all kind of scary peeps! Burlesk! Freaky Friday the 13th will be featuring spooky and freaky performances by well-known local and traveling magicians, musicians, and burlesque artists to thrill and chill you!
Artistika 523 S. Elm Doors @ 7pm, Burlesk! Show @ 8pm $10, $8 if curiously clothed Bands Immediately Following Burlesk Revue The weirdest, creepiest, eeriest, most bizarre, peculiar peepshow you've seen yet!!!
Hi Jo! Thanks for the add! I've seen your show and you're GREAT!!! I wish you many, many gigs and look forward to
working with you some day very soon. Peace & Love, Roger
We want to hire you! That’s right, BurlesqueCommunity.com will pay you to upload your photos and videos taken at either the New Orleans Burlesque Festival or the Montreal Burlesque Festival.
After two weeks traveling from festival to festival and sponsoring two great events the staff of BurlesqueCommunity wants your help sharing the fun with everyone in the community. Please upload your photos and videos from the New Orleans Burlesque Festival and the Montreal Burlesque Festival this week. As a special incentive for anyone who uploads a photo of a performer featuring one of the fashionable red & white canvas tote bags featuring the BurlesqueCommunity logo we are paying a premium.
Beginning today, September 20, 2009, at 12noon EST all members are invited to update and add festival content to their profile and be paid for their efforts. George "The Administrator" of BurlesqueCommunity.com who made appearances at both events announced the promotion at the conclusion of last night’s performance in Montreal. He said, “Our support of Burlesque Performers is one of both time and money.” He added, “Based on the current membership of the site this promotion represents another US$2,700 commitment and one that will be beneficial for the entire community.”
BurlesqueCommunity.com will pay, via PayPal, to each member of the site a participation fee as per the following: festival videos = $1.00 ea., festival photographs = $0.10 ea., photos of a performer holding a BurlesqueCommunity canvas tote bag = $2.00ea., referral of a new performer not already listed = $5.00.
Rule & Guidelines: All submissions must be directly related to burlesque performance, modeling or production, must not be duplicates or previously uploaded items or other’s copyrighted material and must be uploaded no later that 6pm EST September 25, 2009. BurlesqueCommunity.com reserves the right to deny payment based on any content deemed inappropriate for the site.
Pictured: Sitting in for Kobayashi Maru, Nasty Canasta; Ruby Valentine; GiGi La Femme; Clams Casino and Peekaboo Pointe - Photo by Luke Ratray
REVEALED RETURNS, Wednesday, September 16th, 2009.
September’s show will feature scintillating performances by: The Girl Dreams Are Made Of, GiGi La Femme, Professional Sensationalist Amber Ray, The Intoxicating Anita Cookie, The Borg Queen of Burlesque, Kobayashi Maru, Your Gibson geisha Girl Fantasy Madame Rosebud and in her Revealed Burlesque Debut, Tatah Dujour (of Key West Burlesque), the Conch Republic’s Queen of Burlesque!!
Hosted by the charming and inebriated, Bastard Keith with special guest stage kitten Victoria Privates
Join us at Under St. Marks, 94 St. Marks place between 1st and A, presented by The Horse Trade Theater Group.. Buy your tickets here!
***Psssst! Are you a Burlesque/Variety performer? Email revealed.burlesque@gmail.com for a discount code!***
Pictured L-R: Nasty Canasta sitting in for Kobayashi Maru, Clams Casino, GiGi La Femme, Peekaboo Pointe and Ruby Valentine. Photo by Luke Ratray
Wednesday, August 19th at 10:00pm, $20.00 * UNDER St. Marks Theater, 94 St. Marks Place, New York, NY
August's show will feature WET & wild performances by:
The Girl Dreams are Made Of GiGi La Femme, The Mysterious Ms. Tickle, The Exotic Temptress of Tease Nikki Le Villain, stepping in for The Borg Queen of Burlesque Koybayashi Maru is Nasty Canasta, The Girl with the 44DD Brain, Burlesque's Newest Striptease Sensation Sapphire Jones and in her Revealed Burlesque Debut, The Girl with the Curves AND the Angles, Jezebel Express!
Hosted by the charming and inebriated, Bastard Keith and his Salacious Stage Kitten Sidekick, Your Gibson Geisha Girl Fantasy, Madame Rosebud!
Tickets are available by calling SmartTix at 212.868.4444 or online here.
***Pssst! Are you a Burlesque/Variety performer? Email revealed.burlesque@gmail.com for a discount code!***
